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Nice!

The Gormogons Posted on March 31, 2009 by GorTMarch 31, 2009

You go girl – good for her to stand up for what she believes in. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past … Continue reading →

Posted in Hollywood conservatives

A White Knuckle Landing

The Gormogons Posted on March 31, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 31, 2009

Imagine this as a movie plot. A secret military operation sends the space shuttle up, only years after a horrific disaster. The mission is so hush-hush that communications are restricted. During the mission, the crew notices severe damage to several … Continue reading →

Posted in NASA, Space Shuttle

Sliding down that slippery slope

The Gormogons Posted on March 31, 2009 by GorTMarch 31, 2009

So with all this outrage over the AIG bonuses the government is here to save the day.  Now, led by Rep. Barney Frank, Congress is looking to pass a bill that would allow the Treasury Department to exercise control over … Continue reading →

Posted in Free Market Economy, Nobel Prize Winner, Socialism

On Vampires

The Gormogons Posted on March 31, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 31, 2009

This is a slightly edited piece of personal correspondence in response to this piece and Jonah Goldberg’s post. For a great illustration of the Evil Vampire vs. Sexy Vampire, see this Final Girl post on 30 Days of Night. Also … Continue reading →

Posted in Anne Rice, Bram Stoker, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the movie), Dracula, This book really sucks, This movie really sucks, Vampires

The Final Four

The Gormogons Posted on March 31, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 31, 2009

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in March Madness

Crossroads for Pakistan

The Gormogons Posted on March 31, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 31, 2009

Pakistan has been at a crossroads for her entire existence. As soon as she makes one turn, she finds herself at another. Today, in the otherwise amiable city of Lahore, 11 (or more) people were killed and almost 100 injured … Continue reading →

Posted in al-Qâ’ida, ISI, Islamic Terror, Pakistan, Sharia, Taliban

And So It Is Complete

The Gormogons Posted on March 30, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 30, 2009

Indeed, this was close up until a few moments ago! The great Billy Jack held on dearly, and as you know, has heretofore survived being shot several hundred times. Many of us believed that this tin soldier would ride away … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, March Madness

And Men Fighting To Be Warm

The Gormogons Posted on March 30, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 30, 2009

'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this. ’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial … Continue reading →

Posted in Bob Dylan, Bracketology, Hot For Teacher

Steel-Eyed Death

The Gormogons Posted on March 30, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 30, 2009

'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this. ’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial … Continue reading →

Posted in Bob Dylan, Hello Kitty

Observation of the Day

The Gormogons Posted on March 30, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 30, 2009

Please to excuse the untoward language. Squirrels scare the !%$*& out of ‘Puter. 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this. ’Puter carefully … Continue reading →

Posted in Jedis, Squirrel

What I Always Thought

The Gormogons Posted on March 30, 2009 by GorTMarch 30, 2009

I’m going to tie together a few seemingly unrelated threads today. First, we have this study that finds that toddlers “neither plan for the future nor live completely in the present. Instead, they call up the past as they need … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Environment, CFL, Kids These Days, Liberals

Tubby Luvvin’

The Gormogons Posted on March 30, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 30, 2009

Thanks, Fox! Now there’s hope for ‘Puter and all his tubby friends. What could possibly go wrong with a show that’s set up to make fun of fat people trying to get lucky? ‘Puter’s pitching a proposal for a Bachelor … Continue reading →

Posted in Dating Shows, Obesity, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Evil Gypboard?

The Gormogons Posted on March 30, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 30, 2009

Seriously, do you have any idea how cheap drywall is? Does one really need to save money by using Chinese imported gypsum wallboard? Evidently, it contains mystical abilities to destroy copper wiring from a distance, smells like sulfuric dioxide, and … Continue reading →

Posted in China, Tainted Products, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

No one will believe you’ve seen the winner of the Volgi’s bracket!

The Gormogons Posted on March 30, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 30, 2009

You could have cleaned up in Vegas, had you bet on them. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in March Madness

Re: Việt Nam

The Gormogons Posted on March 30, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 30, 2009

The kind words of the Czar notwithstanding, your Volgi is decidedly not a historian of Southeast Asia or the Vietnam War. And he’s in agreement with the Czar’s argument, in general, though he’d quibble with the word futile, given that … Continue reading →

Posted in John Kennedy, Ngô Đình Diệm, Vietnam

Re: Việt Nam

The Gormogons Posted on March 29, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 29, 2009

The Czar would like to compliment and complement your Volgi’s superb post that clarifies some key points in your Czar’s concern about using buzzwords in lieu of warfighting. The Czar does not maintain that the war was unwinnable nor that … Continue reading →

Posted in Cambodia, History, John Kennedy, Laos, Lyndon Johnson, Richard Nixon, Vietnam

God Is Pro-Choice

The Gormogons Posted on March 29, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 29, 2009

‘Puter’s going to get a little theological here for a minute.  Sitting at Mass with the ‘Puter family last evening, ‘Puter got to thinking about God and society.  ‘Puter promises he won’t get all religious on you readers too often. … Continue reading →

Posted in Free Will, Sundays With Jesus

Region Completed

The Gormogons Posted on March 29, 2009 by GorTMarch 29, 2009

Since other Gormogons are going for the obscure presentation in foreign languages and old typesets, I figured I’d throw a little Latin into the mix. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive … Continue reading →

Posted in March Madness

A Really Inconvienent Truth

The Gormogons Posted on March 29, 2009 by GorTMarch 29, 2009

So we’ve all bought in on CFL’s (compact fluorescent lightbulbs), right? Maybe we’re like the Zuerchers in San Francisco (amazingly reported in the NY Times). See, they listened to Al Gore’s movie, bought into the Big Environment movement and replaced … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Environment, Big Government, CFL

How to Win Friends, Etc.

The Gormogons Posted on March 29, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 29, 2009

Says FoxNews’ Major “Captain” Garrett: Obama will [send] civilian State Department and personnel from other US agencies to improve Afghanistan’s ability to govern itself—a tacit acknowledgement that the government led by President Hamid Karzai has failed to win Obama’s full … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Hamid Karzai, Satire

Shocking upsets in the Volgi’s bracket

The Gormogons Posted on March 29, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 29, 2009

Click to enlarge. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in March Madness

Việt Nam

The Gormogons Posted on March 29, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 29, 2009

While heartily endorsing the Czar’s point here that technocratic methods lose wars, your Volgi will respectfully disagree with the Czar’s account of the Vietnam War, in that his readings seem to indicate that not only was the war winnable—Gen. Creighton … Continue reading →

Posted in Afghanistan, Cambodia, China, Laos, Soviet Union, Vietnam

Systems Failure

The Gormogons Posted on March 28, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 28, 2009

In reading over POTUS Obama’s plan for Afghanistan, the Czar was disturbed by this quote: But the plan also for the first time sets benchmarks—or, as the president preferred to call them, “metrics”—for US involvement in both Afghanistan and Pakistan, … Continue reading →

Posted in Afghanistan, Policy Analysis, Robert McNamara, Systems Analysis, The Obama Amateur Hour, Vietnam

Bracket update

The Gormogons Posted on March 28, 2009 by GorTMarch 28, 2009

In a close game, the Pontiff conceded to Technology Savings Us All as he had better things to do guiding his flock to the ever-after. In the other bracket, Bond clearly has a super car, so “there’s no such thing … Continue reading →

Posted in March Madness, There's no such thing of supercar

Dance With The One What Brung You

The Gormogons Posted on March 28, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 28, 2009

‘Puter’s not particularly smart. Or handsome, either, for that matter. But it seems to ‘Puter, sitting smack in the middle of this financial crisis, that America hasn’t given capitalism a chance to work yet. Capitalism assumes that there will be … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Capitalism, Economic policy, Financial Crisis, Financial Industry, George W. Bush

Say a prayer for this man.

The Gormogons Posted on March 28, 2009 by GorTMarch 28, 2009

Seriously, Mr. Matthews needs help.  Take a read through this online article and then let’s revisit the facts. One, an estimated 78% of people in this country identify themselves as Christian.  One would think that being Christian includes the belief … Continue reading →

Posted in Chris Matthews, Christianity, Liberals, Media Bias

As Czar As The Eye Can See

The Gormogons Posted on March 28, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 28, 2009

Hah! Destiny draws ever near. Need bigger? You have two choices: click on it, or face the wrath of the Cossacks. Your Czar recommends the clicking. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, March Madness, The Czar of Muscovy

Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That

The Gormogons Posted on March 27, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 27, 2009

Breaking with their sister state of Massachusetts, North Dakota has taken to arresting lesbians for consummating their relationships. Heck, even a CNN reporter, apparently lesbian, was caught up in the sting. Peace Garden State, ‘Puter’s foot. Either that, or ‘Puter … Continue reading →

Posted in Lesbians, North Dakota

In That Case, Let’s Go For Earth Year

The Gormogons Posted on March 27, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 27, 2009

Evidently, Earth Hour is widely endorsed by the United Nations…so much so, they will turn off the lights at the United Nations building for one hour this weekend. The UN claims this will save them $24,300 in operating costs. The … Continue reading →

Posted in United Nations

The United States Economy

The Gormogons Posted on March 27, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 27, 2009

There is no such thing as the United States economy, if by that one means (as the Obama Administration apparently does) an economy that belongs to the United States. The United States economy is a collection of single companies, investment … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Financial Crisis

Well, if you want it all high-falootin’ and, like, well-written…

The Gormogons Posted on March 27, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 27, 2009

I suppose you should buy the book under review here. On the other hand, you’ve already heard this argument made chez Gormogon recently. In a brilliant chapter on the history of science, Hart paints a very different picture, one that … Continue reading →

Posted in Religion, Science

Two Presidents

The Gormogons Posted on March 27, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 27, 2009

Are these guys are 180° apart? Or 360° apart? Sometimes two men can be so similar that their similarities can be unfathomable. The opposite, of course, is also true. The Czar is surprised, recently, by the odd similarities and contrasts … Continue reading →

Posted in Andrew Jackson, Barack Obama, History

Pretty cool

The Gormogons Posted on March 26, 2009 by GorTMarch 26, 2009

Unfortunately, I’ve missed the opportunity to try to catch the ISS & Shuttle as they fly overhead since the deployment of the new trusses.  The ISS will be the brightest object in the night sky (apart from the Moon) once … Continue reading →

Posted in Space

Obama’s Foreign Failures

The Gormogons Posted on March 26, 2009 by GorTMarch 26, 2009

In continuation of the post below with regards to Obama’s failed foreign policies, here is a link to a great article summarizing them to date from the New York Post (h/t GorT, Sr.)  Mr. Peters is really channeling the threads … Continue reading →

Posted in Fallacy of Foreign-Political Egocentrism, The Obama Amateur Hour

Greece vs. Babylon

The Gormogons Posted on March 26, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 26, 2009

Instead of the heartless faces of despots, the marble statue of a young girl playing knucklebones. The always-compelling Roger Sandall via Arts & Letters Daily. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Babylonia, Greeks

Is this the new image Obamanities pulled the lever for? [Updated]

The Gormogons Posted on March 26, 2009 by GorTMarch 26, 2009

The President of the E.U., Mirek Topolanek (currently the PM of the Czech Republic – the E.U. presidency rotates among member nations), called the direction that the Obama Administration is taking with the economy the “road to hell.”  This is … Continue reading →

Posted in Czech Republic, EU, Global Economy, The Obama Amateur Hour

BLACKWATERSHIP DOWN!

The Gormogons Posted on March 25, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 25, 2009

HOLY FRICKIN’ CRAP. This is completely insane. Also, it may be leading off the Gormogon Film Festival. Who knows. This is either completely appalling or the most incredible thing ever. Alas, it’s Japanese, so we’ll never be able to decide … Continue reading →

Posted in Bunny snipers, Japan, This TV show really sucks

DP-J on Iran

The Gormogons Posted on March 25, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 25, 2009

A-yup. Whoever drafted President Obama’s public appeal to Iran has little or no idea about the way minds work out there. This gust of hot air spouting from the president of the United States was disconnected from reality, and so … Continue reading →

Posted in Appearance of Weakness, Iran, The Obama Amateur Hour

Epic Fail, Parts I and II

The Gormogons Posted on March 25, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 25, 2009

First, President Obama’s budget plan to deficit spend our way to prosperity ran into a bit of a problem today. The Brits couldn’t find buyers for its entire bond offering this morning. Then this afternoon, a Fed bond auction attracted … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Financial Crisis, Timothy Geithner

Carbon Scoring

The Gormogons Posted on March 25, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 25, 2009

Your Czar normally detests the Chicago Tribue as a dessicated synopsis rag masquerading as a once great paper, but a front page article caught his eye on Sunday about Chicago. Specifically, it was a discussion of whether the City of … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Environment, Carbon Credits, Chicago, Chicago Tribune, Energy, Global Warming, Kyoto Protocol, Richard M. Daley

Ok, I know what “overseas” means.

The Gormogons Posted on March 25, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 25, 2009

And I know what a contingency is. And certainly, “operation” is easy enough to understand. But the lamely-labelled “Global War on Terror” is now the “Overseas Contingency Operation.” And that’s close to meaningless. “That thing we do abroad if or … Continue reading →

Posted in Deconstructionism, Department of Defense, Department of State, Foreign Policy, Military, The Obama Amateur Hour

Tonight, He appeared to me on my TV!

The Gormogons Posted on March 25, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 25, 2009

Tomorrow, my tortilla shell! Via Buttle. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Barack Obama

Danke schoen, as Wayne Newton likes to say

The Gormogons Posted on March 25, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 25, 2009

Thanks very much to the Gormogonical readership which, as of yesterday or so, numbers upwards of 54,000 over the life of the site. We know most of you are just here for the pictures of Hello Kitty & Rachel Weisz, … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica

By Our Command..

The Gormogons Posted on March 25, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 25, 2009

The Czar strongly recommends that a network pick up this new idea for a show. You know you’d watch it. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in … Continue reading →

Posted in Battlestar Galactica, Gormogonica, Satire, This TV show really sucks

20 years later…

The Gormogons Posted on March 25, 2009 by GorTMarch 25, 2009

…and a movie under our belts starring our very own Val Kilmer and we might have cold fusion. Again, remember: innovation is key. Read more here. I’m sure the folks in San Diego don’t use cool pseudonyms like our Huckleberry … Continue reading →

Posted in Innovation, Val Kilmer the Thirteenth Imam

Pause before taking that “free” socialized medicine and consider…

The Gormogons Posted on March 25, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 25, 2009

Fact No. 1: Americans have better survival rates than Europeans for common cancers. Fact No. 2: Americans have lower cancer mortality rates than Canadians. Fact No. 3: Americans have better access to treatment for chronic diseases than patients in other … Continue reading →

Posted in Medicine, Socialized Medicine

Involuntary treatment for mental illness?

The Gormogons Posted on March 24, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 24, 2009

Hell, yes. If you’ve ever known or lived around someone with serious, psychotic mental illness, it’s awfully hard to argue with this. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Asylums, Mental Illness

Chinese force projection

The Gormogons Posted on March 24, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 24, 2009

Looks like they want to expand out into the Pacific. I wonder what Minister Hamada and the rest of the Japanese government thought of that… Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in China, Japan, Military, Taiwan, U.S. Navy

And Your Football Team Stinks, Too

The Gormogons Posted on March 24, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 24, 2009

The University of Notre Dame, an ostensibly Roman Catholic institution of higher learning, extended an invitation to President Obama to speak at its commencement ceremony in May. The problem? The Roman Catholic Church is uncompromisingly protective of innocent human life … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Notre Dame

The Chicago Way, Connecticut Style

The Gormogons Posted on March 24, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 24, 2009

Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Further circumstantial evidence, as if we needed it, that Sen. Chris Dodd (D-CT) is on the take. But to be fair, ‘Puter supposes, just because Sen. Dodd’s wife was a director of an … Continue reading →

Posted in AIG, Chicago Way, Chris Dodd, Countrywide

BSG Finale

The Gormogons Posted on March 24, 2009 by GorTMarch 24, 2009

Overall, I have to admit that I really enjoyed the finale of Battlestar Galactica. It was a show that took risks and provided a unique diversion on TV at a time when I think TV was doling out rather mediocre … Continue reading →

Posted in Battlestar Galactica, Science Fiction, This TV show really sucks

Nothing A Good Bankruptcy Proceeding Couldn’t Solve

The Gormogons Posted on March 24, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 24, 2009

Since Secretary Geithner’s doing such a bang-up job bringing us out of our current crisis, this seems like a good idea. That’s right, folks. The White House and Secretary Geithner want Congress to give them even more power to distort … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Financial Crisis, Timothy Geithner

Anne Applebaum denounces the FFPE

The Gormogons Posted on March 24, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 24, 2009

Read the whole thing. Money quote: Sooner or later, however, Barack Obama will also have to make hard decisions about regimes that oppose U.S. policy for reasons deeper than dislike of George W. Bush. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions … Continue reading →

Posted in Fallacy of Foreign-Political Egocentrism, Iran, Russia, Syria

There is more news than just in Muscovy…

The Gormogons Posted on March 24, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 24, 2009

Let’s see what’s going on in the world here. Here’s one: the people of Ghana, a country not often in the news, have some reason to celebrate. The Dutch are finally going to return the head of Badu Bonsu II … Continue reading →

Posted in Bhutan, Ghana, Liechtenstein, Suriname, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

Greedy Lawyers + (Sexting + Suicide) = Bad Law

The Gormogons Posted on March 23, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 23, 2009

This is a truly sad story, but not a good reason to create new, unnecessary law. The Logan family’s only child — an 18 year old daughter Jessica — sent a nude photo of herself to her boyfriend’s cell phone. … Continue reading →

Posted in Dumb Laws, Jessica Logan, Lawyers, Sexting, Stupidity

Geithner’s Plan v. ‘Puter’s Plan

The Gormogons Posted on March 23, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 23, 2009

Treasury Secretary Geithner finally released his plan to deal with bad bank assets. You can (and should) read Secretary Geither’s executive summary of his plan in the Wall Street Journal here. After going on at length about what a bang-up … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, PIP, Timothy Geithner

Why do it?

The Gormogons Posted on March 23, 2009 by GorTMarch 23, 2009

It seems like the popular talk these days is about the AIG bonuses.  In my opinion, had the market been allowed to work without government intervention, this wouldn’t be a topic at all as the contracts stipulating the bonuses would … Continue reading →

Posted in AIG, The Obama Amateur Hour, These politics really suck

Hugo, Victor

The Gormogons Posted on March 23, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 23, 2009

Hugo Chavez, Venezuelan front lump (there’s that word again!), today called POTUS Obama a “poor ignoramus.” That’s a word often used by Stooges, particularly the Moe kind. Why oh why don’t they like him? Mr. Obama’s been nothing but nice, … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Hugo Chavez, Sierra Tango Foxtrot Uniform, Venezuela

Welcome, Ms. Herman!

The Gormogons Posted on March 22, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 22, 2009

The Gormogons extend a welcome to their newest follower, Felicia Herman, librarian for hire with terrific taste in movies, music, and books. Welcome aboard, Ms. H. You’ll likely hear from the Czar regarding his proposal to shift the Internet from … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica

The Mummy’s Return

The Gormogons Posted on March 22, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 22, 2009

Had to read this one twice. The headline says “Egypt Wants 3,000-Year-Old Wooden Coffin Illegally Smuggled Into U.S.”. And so the Czar blinks and says, “Why not just send it to us normally?” “Oh, they want it returned.” Nice editing, … Continue reading →

Posted in Egypt

The Socialist Train Rolls On

The Gormogons Posted on March 22, 2009 by GorTMarch 22, 2009

So for whatever reason, the government bailed out a number of financial companies including AIG.  Presumably because without the bailout, the economic peril that we would have faced would be greater with a Chapter 11 filing than what we’re facing … Continue reading →

Posted in Bailout, Barack Obama, Hollywood liberals

Bracketologia Gormogonica

The Gormogons Posted on March 22, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 22, 2009

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in March

Unforeseen Development! Supplication slapped down as impotence! [Updated]

The Gormogons Posted on March 22, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 22, 2009

So, President Obama went on YouTube and delivered a message to the leadership of Iran of how he wanted to get together and rap about all the false consciousness that’s harshing our bilateral mellow. Which, of course, led to Iran’s … Continue reading →

Posted in Appearance of Weakness, Diplomacy, Fallacy of Foreign-Political Egocentrism, Iran, North Korea, Russia, Supplication Slapped Down, The Obama Amateur Hour

Res ipse loquitur

The Gormogons Posted on March 22, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 22, 2009

Confucius* says, click to enlarge: *For those who came in late, Confucius (孔夫子) is the given name of the Gormogons’ Œcumenical Volgi. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in March Madness

If We Ignore The Facts…

The Gormogons Posted on March 22, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 22, 2009

POTUS Obama took time off from his busy schedule of appearing on television to appear on television. This Sunday, on 60 Minutes (the Lawrence Welk Show of mainstream news), the President refutes Dick Cheney’s assertation that the current administration has … Continue reading →

Posted in Fallacy of Foreign-Political Egocentrism, Foreign Policy, The Obama Amateur Hour

Madoff for the Masses

The Gormogons Posted on March 22, 2009 by GorTMarch 22, 2009

Just in case you didn’t see this on the Jimmy Kimmel show – here is Sesame Street’s explanation of the Bernie Madoff scandal. Mrs. GorT thought this would be appropriate for this site and I agree – I hope that … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Madoff, Scandals

Status updates…

The Gormogons Posted on March 21, 2009 by GorTMarch 21, 2009

Click for more pixelsThe annoying popup MS Office assistant was no match for the elements of Technology Saving Us All and Hating Microsoft was defeated easily.  The Pope issued a number of edicts dismantling the 70’s folks tune attack launched … Continue reading →

Posted in March Madness, There's no such thing of supercar

Abby, Abby, Abby…

The Gormogons Posted on March 21, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 21, 2009

Poor Abby West, who (as we have foreseen and according to our plans) writes this shocking sentence: “Gormogons did exist but they don’t appear to have been all that menacing.” Not menacing? Take a look at this picture, Ms. West, … Continue reading →

Posted in And yet she must scream, Gormogonica, Hello Kitty, Satire

Puteria Est Omnis Divisa in Partes Tres

The Gormogons Posted on March 21, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 21, 2009

'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this. ’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, March Madness

Iacta Alea Est

The Gormogons Posted on March 21, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 21, 2009

An update on the Czar’ picks. Nearly all the pieces are in place. Click to enlarge. Do it. Do it! The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogons

Endeavor, Opportunity!

The Gormogons Posted on March 21, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 21, 2009

This photograph astonishes the Czar, and likely GorTechie, to a deep degree. Know what this is, that foggy shape in the haze? Millions of miles away, there is a planet you have heard of named Mars. On the planet Mars … Continue reading →

Posted in Humanity, Mars, Opportunity, Robots, Science, Space

An axis of…what?

The Gormogons Posted on March 21, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 21, 2009

That the Pyongyang-Damascus-Tehran nuclear axis went undetected and unacknowledged for so long is an intelligence failure of the highest magnitude. It represents a plain unwillingness to allow hard truths to overcome well-entrenched policy views disguised as intelligence findings. Confucius, Œc. … Continue reading →

Posted in CIA, Intelligence Community, Iran, North Korea, Nukes, Syria

For those not scoring at home

The Gormogons Posted on March 21, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 21, 2009

Here’s the Gormogons’ bracket in toto going into the second round. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in March Madness

Number 13, number 13…

The Gormogons Posted on March 21, 2009 by GorTMarch 21, 2009

…this is post number thirteen. Oh wait, damn it, that’s binary. Sorry, this is post #1,101 and I’ve been shamed into putting graphics to my bracket. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal … Continue reading →

Posted in March Madness

‘Puter’s Bracket [Gormogons Post #1,100]

The Gormogons Posted on March 20, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 20, 2009

'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this. ’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial … Continue reading →

Posted in March Madness

For the Last Time, People!

The Gormogons Posted on March 20, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 20, 2009

Ginormica on the top, Gormogonica below. Let’s keep that straight, now. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica

So, what brings you here?

The Gormogons Posted on March 20, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 20, 2009

The following search terms, apparently. We hope everyone finds what he’s looking for, but we worry about many, many of you. how to make a muumuufat muumuupoland hates obama”round heels””rubbing together””steaming mug”airline whoresb vitamins what is a healthy dosebaby don’t … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Humor

P.J. still has his fastball?

The Gormogons Posted on March 20, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 20, 2009

And he throws high, nasty heat at the President for…stem cells? Boy, I wouldn’t have predicted either of those. Now let’s look at the things morality has known. The Ten Commandments are holding up pretty well. I suppose the “graven … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, P.J. O'Rourke, Science, Stem Cells

ATM Politics

The Gormogons Posted on March 20, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 20, 2009

Welcome to ‘Puter’s world. Two top New York Democrat machine operatives were just indicited for taking $30 million (that’s MM for million, the rest of you) in a pay to play scam. They required financial providers to ante up to … Continue reading →

Posted in Corruption, Democrats, New York, Unions

Obama Bowls a Turkey

The Gormogons Posted on March 20, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 20, 2009

President Obama, speaking to Jay Leno on The Tonight Show last night, likened his bowling prowess to that of a Special Olympian. What a boneheaded comment. The POTUS, thinking he can get away with putting down special needs folks? That’s … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Bowling, Jay Leno, Satire, Special Olympics, Tonight Show

Beat downs continue

The Gormogons Posted on March 20, 2009 by GorTMarch 20, 2009

GSN, March 20th – In the 1st round of the Gormogon Playoffs, GorT region, a number of clearly favored entries advanced with ease.  “Technology will save us all” squashed Frank Gorshin with an outstanding performance by subterranean nuclear power, mosquito-killing … Continue reading →

Posted in March Madness, There's no such thing of supercar

Making Beds. Lying In Them. Etc.

The Gormogons Posted on March 20, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 20, 2009

We deserve what we’re getting now, and we deserve what’s coming down the pike. First now, next later, then an unsatisfactory conclusion. Now. We’ve reaped the whirlwind of our past acts in the current financial collapse. People who had no … Continue reading →

Posted in Congress, Financial Crisis, Moral hazard

The Evil Amish Empire

The Gormogons Posted on March 20, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 20, 2009

Years ago, a telecommunications worker told your Czar something interesting. “Didja ever go to Amish country, and see them little houses they build out back, like outhouses? Well, some o’ them ain’t outhouses. They’re switch rooms. We ran fiber optics … Continue reading →

Posted in Amish, Hypocrisy, Injustice, Skepticism

And boom goes the dynamite. [Updated]

The Gormogons Posted on March 20, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 20, 2009

It’s just about that painful to watch. No, not our Celebrity-in-Chief’s talk-show yukfest on Leno, but this dreadful piece of PR/public diplomacy performed by the president. Friend of the Gormogons Steve Hayes has the story here. Among other things, Obama … Continue reading →

Posted in Appearance of Weakness, Diplomacy, Fallacy of Foreign-Political Egocentrism, Iran

Opening up the can of Ass Whip®

The Gormogons Posted on March 20, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 20, 2009

Two serious upsets in the first round. Check it out, sports fans. Click to embiggen. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in March Madness

Look Upon My Works Ye Mighty

The Gormogons Posted on March 20, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 20, 2009

And so the Czar reviews his progress, which progresses as the antients hath foreseen.You should click to enlarge. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes … Continue reading →

Posted in March Madness

Galileo, Galileo, Galileo—Figaro! Magnifico-o-o-o-o

The Gormogons Posted on March 20, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 20, 2009

The Czar’s use of the spurious (though super-witty) Galilean epigram eppur si muove (which actually dates from the 1750s) reminds me to quote Friend of the Gormogons Jonah Goldberg on the Galileo Myth. Robert Nisbet in (probably my favorite book) … Continue reading →

Posted in Galileo Galileo Galileo Figaro, Jonah Goldberg, Religion, Science, The Enlightenment, Unam sanctam catholicam apostolicam ecclesiam

Eppur Si Muove

The Gormogons Posted on March 20, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 20, 2009

John “Don” McLeroy is chairman of the Texas State Board of Education. Why is Texas usually center ring in the Creationist Science circus? It doesn’t help that the chairman is a Level 5 FrontLump. This is a term the Czar … Continue reading →

Posted in Creationism, Don McLeroy, Evolution, Science, Stupid People, Texas

Just listen to us

The Gormogons Posted on March 19, 2009 by GorTMarch 19, 2009

It pays to read all of the posts here.  Why, you may ask?  Because we’re right. Case in point: The Obama Administration with help from their friends in Hollywood, decided that a gift appropriate for his first meeting with the … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogons, The Obama Amateur Hour

Followers à Gogo!

The Gormogons Posted on March 19, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 19, 2009

Welcome aboard the S.S. Gormogon, Eric Reasons. He’s a subject, he’s a predicate, he’s a sentence! And an IT guy. So GorT has at least one reader who can get all his propeller-head network-centric nerdery. Woo! Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica

Which Is It?

The Gormogons Posted on March 19, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 19, 2009

President Obama floated, then quickly withdrew, a plan to require injured veterans to use their private insurance to cover combat injuries, despite the public care provided by the Veterans Administration. Meanwhile, President Obama’s administration continues full bore on a plan … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Insurance, Military

Not That I’m Biased

The Gormogons Posted on March 19, 2009 by GorTMarch 19, 2009

But Happy St. Joseph’s Day to everyone.   To a certain extent, I think the Catholic Church has relegated Joseph to a lesser role than he deserves but it has maintained March 19th as a solemnity.  It always falls in … Continue reading →

Posted in St. Joseph

Don’t Jesus Up My Science, Texas

The Gormogons Posted on March 19, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 19, 2009

Hey, you got your Jesus in my science! No, you got your science in my Jesus! Two great things that don’t go great together. Necessarily. Texas is the current battleground for the bogus “creationism is science” debate. Texas is refusing … Continue reading →

Posted in Creationism, Fundamentalism, Science, Texas

In Which ‘Puter Agrees With The NYT

The Gormogons Posted on March 19, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 19, 2009

The New York Times in an editorial today states President Obama must not permit trade protectionism to become part of his program. The editorial cites the spending bill’s abrogation of the United States’ duty under NAFTA to permit Mexican truckers … Continue reading →

Posted in Free Trade, Mexico, New York Times - NYT

Another follower surfaces!

The Gormogons Posted on March 19, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 19, 2009

Welcome, David Ferguson! Thanks for signing up, and we hope you enjoy the ride! Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153

Continue reading →
Posted in Gormogonica

Hollywood Conservatives? Seems So!

The Gormogons Posted on March 19, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 19, 2009

Lest we think that Hollywood is completely overrun with moonbats, a delightful reminder that there still is some respect for conservative values in the Land of the Yahoos. A nice, touching piece that lists more celebrities with backbones than the … Continue reading →

Posted in Conservatism, Hollywood liberals, Movies

Real March Madness

The Gormogons Posted on March 19, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 19, 2009

Well, here’s a major screw up. POTUS Obama, under whose advisement the Czar cannot begin to imagine, thought the following would be a great idea: announce that you are, in effect, pulling federal funding of injured veterans (yes, veterans) who … Continue reading →

Posted in The Obama Amateur Hour, Veterans’ Affairs, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Who’s he got, Cal-State Northridge or AIG?

The Gormogons Posted on March 18, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 18, 2009

The Gormogons would like to thank our esteemed colleague Ennuipundit for passing along this amazing story, in which President Obama, amidst a potentially once-a-century economic crisis, with Russia rearming, China staging provocations in the South China Sea, Iran reading nuclear-tipped … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Financial Crisis, Foreign Policy, March Madness, The Obama Amateur Hour

A Travesty in the Making?

The Gormogons Posted on March 18, 2009 by GorTMarch 18, 2009

On my way home, I was flipping the dial around and, for a few minutes, was listening to Monica Crowley detail a number of the gaffes that the Obama Administration has achieved in the first 50-60 days in office.  I … Continue reading →

Posted in Hollywood liberals, Media Bias

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