The Czar Knows Some Things
He may not know how much a pile of .50 caliber rounds like this would cost the military: …but he does know that bag cost twice as much as it should have. Hail Kitty. And thanks to Uncle Jay who … Continue reading →
Category Archives: Hello Kitty
One Night in Bangkok (Seoul, Really): Operative JAB’s Mission Update
Operative JAB writes in from her secret overseas assignment. While in transit, posing as part of Dennis Rodman’s posse heading to Pyongyang for some quality time with the Little Dictator, Operative JAB managed to surreptitiously snap this picture: As JAB … Continue reading →
In Space, No One Can Hear You Scream…
Zombie Apocalypse Survival Gear, Gormogons Style*
Nothing strikes fear into the undead heart of a zombie like the sound of chainsaw revving up. Nothing, that is, except a chainsaw revving up prominently displaying the visage of She Who Has No Mouth, Yet She Must Scream.** If … Continue reading →
Want a Tat? Time to reflect…
Nothing says class like Hello Kitty Gentle Readers, Dr. J. woke up Sunday Morning to this piece on Fox and Friends. Washington D.C. who has had a fairly unregulated tattoo industry felt the need to catch up with the times … Continue reading →
Our Private Jet Got a Paint Job
Gentle Readers, Dr. J. saw ‘Puter slinking away from the Castle hanger this morning with a paint brush and palate. Behold what he wrought while we all slept: If you want to charter a flight, here’s how, but we’ll only … Continue reading →
Father’s Day with your Gormogons
Happy Fathers Day to all of our readers who are fathers or who have fathers! Let’s take a look around Castle Gormogon to see what the Fathers Day Fairy brought your Gormogon Overlords, Fathers to All, muah ha ha ha … Continue reading →
Mailbag – Droid Factory Edition
Operative BG writes in: Dr. J., Is it possible I’ve divined the actual location of Castle Gormogon? Dr. J’s prescription shows the castle’s phone number as 888-867-5309, which is apparently located at 2209 Whitten Road, Memphis, TN 38133. I’m thinking … Continue reading →
Hello Jason!
Uh, no, not really…
She has no mouth, and yet she must crush the ponies in this debate. Hello Kitty is for Puter and little girls, please make amends you ignorant Brony Bloggers… Dr. J.
Continue reading →Breaking: Romney VP Leaked!
Your Gormogons masters, the puppet-masters of the puppet-masters we are, have chosen to reveal to you, our devoted readers, a picture obtained from the Romney ’12 VP announcement pre-party this evening… With a name like Maroney, how could he take … Continue reading →
“Marriage Equality” Supporters Are Liars
If all gay marriages were Hello Kittythemed and held at Gay Pride Parades,they’d be much more popular. ‘Puter’s noticed gay marriage proponents have ceased calling gay marriage gay marriage. The radical left before ‘Puter’s bleary eyes has disappeared the phrase … Continue reading →
‘Puter Scooter?
Uncle Jay returns from Internet purgatory to let us know he has been hanging around the Castle parking lot, wherein the found this: It is not the Czar’s, for verily a motorbike he does not ride. Could be a hotel … Continue reading →
Happy Birthday ‘Puter!
Mrs. Dr. J., the Lil Resident and the Lil Medstudent baked you a cake… …and a pie! Happy Birthday Big Guy! Dr. J.
Continue reading →Hello Baby!
Were Dr. and Mrs. Dr. J. to produce more offspring, our birth plan might require a flight to Taiwan for the delivery. While it might affect that child’s ability to run for president of the United States, it would be … Continue reading →
Hello Kitty Perry
Dr. J. has no idea how this one slipped past ‘Puter. Katy Perry in Hello Kitty-wear? Shame ‘Puter, shame. SNL with Katy Perry: J-Pop Talk Show (12/10/11)– Watch more Funny Videos at Vodpod. Dr. J.
Continue reading →Hello Kidney!
Operative JS writes in under the subject header ‘From a children’s hospital’: Hello, kind sirs. I wasn’t sure if you’d seen the following, so I thought I would share it with you. God Bless, Operative J S P.S. Just looked, … Continue reading →
My Little Kony
Here Kitty, Kitty…!
Blue Sun respectfully submits a video nearly guaranteed to have ‘Puter busting a move, peeling off all his clothes, and prancing around the weeds at the Castle entrance until Sleestak has to get the darts again. And to be fair, … Continue reading →
Everywhere
The Czar and Mandarin were very careful to leave their mark at their alma mater decades ago. If you look closely, you can still see evidence: The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь … Continue reading →
Our tendrils are everywhere…
Mandy’s subconscious mind-control ray is now firing on all pistons, as you can see by this small field test on Garry B. Trudeau, the author or Doonesbury: Hello Kitty today, GOP talking points tomorrow…muah…ha…ha…ha… Dr. J.
Continue reading →Puter’s Castle Christmas Tree
In a police lineup, it would not be hard to pick out ‘Puter’s Christmas Tree. Our little, lovable Luddite went with a Hello Kitty theme. Here you can see his tree, with Mrs. ‘Puter modeling the latest in Hello Kitty … Continue reading →
Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 1
The advent calendar started with German Lutherans who would physically count down the days to Christmas starting on December 1st. It has morphed into the modern ones which are traditionally cardboard/plastic frames with small doors that are opened on each … Continue reading →
We’re Working On It
The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of … Continue reading →
Ah, Yes…
Thanks, Borepatch! The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the … Continue reading →
It’s the Season of the Witch!
Dr. J. would like to wish our readers, followers and especially our minions a Happy Halloween! The Halloween Fairy (She’s real, unlike that Great Pumpkin chap) made her annual visit to the J. household this morning leaving little treats for … Continue reading →
Incoming Message From Durandal
Clever reader JA writes in to say: Re: the Marathon screen cap in a recent post. BEST. GAME. EVER. Yeah, don’t we know it. See kiddies, in the days before Halo, there was Marathon. Indeed, attentive players of the Halo … Continue reading →
The Ties That Bind
Mandarin found this from our alma mater. Joy. Pure joy. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out … Continue reading →
Those Naughty Photons
Wow, we have the smartest readers in the world. Thank goodness you readers wind up writing half the stuff on here. Check this bad boy out from NR: Dread Czar, Nice post on the Higgs – much better than most … Continue reading →
And Yet She Screams…
…and entraps people with her pals smiling, Cartman, and Joe Cool Apparently. In La Crosse.. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past … Continue reading →
Danforth: Tekeli-li, Tekeli-li, Etc.
Dread and Awful Czar, Cthulhu lives! Guillermo DelToro begins filming At The Mountains of Madness in July, in 3D. Perhaps he can borrow some of the 4D film tech that Mandy’s working on so as to give the Shoggoth the … Continue reading →
And Yet She Must Keyring
JL, an operative of ours presently relocating the Hudson Bay an inch at a time (didn’t notice, didja?) writes in: Today at the hardware store I stood in line beside a young airman, about 20 I presume, he had just … Continue reading →
Petro Kitty
Behold! Hello Kitty motor oil! ‘Puter suggested marketing slogan: “It’s the only lube her kitty will ever need.” And yes, it’s a real product. Courtesy of Boing Boing. 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims … Continue reading →
Gormogons Infiltrate Modern Art World
Gormogon Operative J.S. successfully completed his assigned takeover of the hipster New York City modern art world. Masquerading as noted artist Tom Sachs, J.S. managed to place enormous sculptures of Hello Kitty in and about the grounds of the Lever … Continue reading →
Bad Kitteh!
Not one but two separate Gormogon Operatives pointed ‘Puter to the horrific Hello Kitty branding effort, pictured, right. What in the heck was Kotex’s marketing deaprtment thinking here? Nothing says comfort and absorption like strapping a kitty to your kitty? … Continue reading →
Trust No One
Except, of course, your Gormogons. Gormogon operative D.F. inquires from his acre in the Hobbit Shire, regarding ‘Puter’s take on Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ): Watching Gov. Christie rebut that old ‘it is for the children’ business makes me think he … Continue reading →
Monday Morning Hello Kitty
As evidenced by photographic evidence, the feline population is plotting to overthrow the government and install Hello Kitty as Our Benign Despotic Leader. First Commandant Mister Mittens oversees ammunition stockpiling under the watchful gaze of Hello Kitty’s benevolent (yet silent) … Continue reading →
Kitty v. Hagar
Operative TB writes in with the following question (oddly drafted in motor oil on eelskin) concerning ‘Puter’s post yesterday: Hey wait one minute! Last time I looked Kitty was up against Putin. Hagar isn’t even in the brackytte. Where did … Continue reading →
Hello Kitty Yummy Goodness
Apropos of nothing, here is your Two Minute Kitty. Hagar the Horrible provides the hate. Special thanks to Gormogon operative J.S. for making ‘Puter’s afternoon. And special thanks to Mr. Orwell for providing us a preview of our dystopian future. … Continue reading →
Что делать, Dr. J edition
Dr. J, in a letter your Volgi’s been remiss in posting, waxes a bit despondent about the looming threat of Obamacare. The bulk of his missive concerned the Slaughter Stratagem, ginned up by ’Puter’s neighbor, Weezy. Since that seems to … Continue reading →
Hello Kitty Mailbag Happy Fun Time!
‘Puter’s been remiss on answering his mail of late, what with watching the train wreck that is the Massa resignation unfold in slow motion in his backyard and all. But Gormogon operative Mallethead (not to be confused with Czar’s pseudonym, … Continue reading →
Urgent: Citizens Storm Washington
By ‘Puter GormogonAssociated Press Wannabe WASHINGTON (AP) — Throngs of Americans descended upon Washington today, demanding the resignation of President Obama and all 535 members of Congress. Armed with nothing more than copies of the United States Constitution, and accompanied … Continue reading →
Re: House Cleaning
Our thanks to GorT. He really is the coolest robot, provided he doesn’t rip your head off for one of his “upgrades,” Puny humans. “We apologize in advance if we kill one of your favorite tags (send an email and … Continue reading →
Conspiracy Update: Everything Going Swimmingly
TJIC reports his unbridled (but still fully masculine) joy over discovering the new Korean store in his area that features an entire Hello Kitty department. Cough. You are quite welcome. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ … Continue reading →
Hello Kitty Is Rich
Check out what the cult of Hello Kitty hath wrought: A “Super Hello Kitty Jewel Doll,” studded with a 1.027 carat diamond on its ribbon, 403 pink sapphires on its body, a citrine for its yellow nose, black spinels for … Continue reading →
Hellooooooo, Kitty.
Man, she shows up everywhere. Photoshopping by Brendon Donnelly at What Would Tyler Durden Do? Safe(ish) for work at WWTDD, not so safe for the work, if you click down a further level. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like … Continue reading →
’Puter’s operatives at work
Today, when I was finished eating at McDonalds, I went to Shoppers to pick up a new toothbrush. I got back to my car only to find the windows smashed in. The only thing that was missing from my car … Continue reading →
Behold the Bride of ’Puter
Gormogons friendly D.F. (who previously was bright enough to discern our occult rôle in the overthrow of Ferdinand Marcos) writes in: O Great and Notorious Volgi, [not an official title, but the ŒV approves] Hello Kitty has found a way … Continue reading →
Barney Frank: Curriculum Vitae
Can someone explain to the Czar who the foxtrot puts a charlie foxtrot like Barney Frank in charge of the U.S. House of Representatives Financial Services Committee? Is it the deep commercial banking experience he lacks? Or the investment management … Continue reading →
Mailbag: Hello Kitty says, “Sic semper tyrannis!”
Gormogon observer D.F. writes in: Okay, so full disclosure time, I’m a huge PJ O’Rourke fan. Got just about all his stuff on my shelf, and I live by the Republican Party Reptile credo of opposition to government spending, aerobics, … Continue reading →
The Hello Kitty Conundrum
As ‘Puter and the Czar were discussing this post over Cohibas and mason jars of corn likker in Castle Gormogon’s study, ‘Puter inquired as to how Hello Kitty could hit the pictured bong, seeing as she has no mouth. The … Continue reading →
Access {Error}:Fatal_Init
Anyway, whatever that nonsense up there is, that’s what you get when you try to hack into GorT’s brain. Here’s how it went down. So the Czar is strolling through the basement of the Castle Gormogon (motto of our basement: … Continue reading →
All Your Futures Is Belongs To Us
At last! Your Gormogons have made the long awaited breakthrough! We have created a clone army of Hello Kitty shock troops to expand the Gormogonical influence throughout the universe and, thanks to GorT, throughout time! Fear the Kitty. ** Photo … Continue reading →
Meet the Gormogons!
Every ultra-secret society needs an easy-to-find website. And it is the one-year anniversary of this one! As a way of celebrating, here’s a simple user guide to most things Gormogon. Learn More About Us Although the Gormogons claim roughly five … Continue reading →
In Which ‘Puter’s Prescience Is Affirmed
By a quasi-expert, even! Jerry Bowyer, here, states that regulatory uncertainty is preventing economic recovery. In his article, government action is stalling job growth. Where have we heard this before? Why, right here, where ‘Puter correctly states that regulatory uncertainty … Continue reading →
Act Now, And Get …
‘Puter, having lost his ill-advised wager with The Czar, and having made good the terms of his bargain, is magnanimously sending The Czar an additional token of good faith. A Hello Kitty Sith Lord to lead the brigade of Hessians … Continue reading →
God Bless the Hedge Funds, Part III
In which the “Committee of Chrysler Non TARP Lenders” channels ‘Puter. It’s this pesky little “rule of law” thing that keeps coming up. At the risk of being trite, if Americans continue to stand idly by as the Obama Administration … Continue reading →
Steel-Eyed Death
'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this. ’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial … Continue reading →
Abby, Abby, Abby…
Poor Abby West, who (as we have foreseen and according to our plans) writes this shocking sentence: “Gormogons did exist but they don’t appear to have been all that menacing.” Not menacing? Take a look at this picture, Ms. West, … Continue reading →
Rogue Nations Test Obama
The NorKs are going to test an ICBM under the guise of a “satellite launch.” Japan in response threatened to shoot the NorK missile out of the sky. Iran had declared itself a nuclear and space power. Cuba and Venezuela … Continue reading →
South Africa To The Rescue
South Africa has, after much intensive research, gleaned the solution to the Massachusetts lesbian marital rape conundrum below. Have men rape the lesbians to cure them of lesbianism. Holy cow, people. How messed up is this world getting? ‘Puter fears … Continue reading →
Gay Marriage, Hello Kitty Style
Good to see Massachusetts lesbians are availing themselves of all the privileges of marriage. Like attempting to forcibly inseminate your wife with your brother’s semen. Hope no one is eating lunch. 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. … Continue reading →
Whose House Is It, Again?
Many of the foreclosees recently have bemoaned the fact that the evil bank “is taking my house.” Let’s examine that statement for a moment. Legally, if your name’s on the deed the house is yours. But if there’s a sizable … Continue reading →
Ensign Girl of the Imperial Japanese Navy
Fear the kitteh! Is it still too close to WWII to make jokes? Anyway, the United States ended up taking care of the Nihon Kaigun. 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be … Continue reading →
Obey Me
OBEY The Czar is no fool. He views the Live Traffic stats down at the bottom of the blog, here. He sees that the most popular blog, world-wide, is Creepy Despots. He also know you like it only because it … Continue reading →
Government as Religion
Two of the three Gormogons have extended family members who are true believing liberal Democrats. The Notorious OEV did a better job of choosing his relatives. As the election has approached, and truth be told, for the last eight years … Continue reading →
NOLA Mans Up
About danged time. According to The Gun Shots, a blog over at Outdoor Life, folks in New Orleans are taking their hurricane preparedness a little more seriously this time around. While the AR-15 is a fine weapon (particularly if you … Continue reading →
Hello Kitty Has No Mouth, and She Must Scream*
Ghetto P, I’ll see your “Hello Kitty” and raise you a “Hello Cthulhu.” *You see this quoted around the internet a lot (mostly by people who wouldn’t know Harlan Ellison if he hit ’em in the mouth, and believe me, … Continue reading →
Creepy Despots
Wow, is Notorious OEV on a tear this afternoon. Who can argue with his Olympic Opening Ceremony take down? ‘Puter’s only got one small addition to make to OEV’s list of fascisti mascots: Hello Kitty. I offer the following proof … Continue reading →