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The Fence Creeps

The Gormogons Posted on March 19, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Czar’s 14-year-old neighbor stopped over for a visit yesterday, bringing his dog over to spend some time with our little Sally, who are best canine pals. As his dog attempted to engage Sally in play (a futile effort as … Continue reading →

Posted in All Your Base Are Belong To Us, Canada, Crimea, Great Ideas, Sally, Teenagers, United States of America

A Public Service Announcment From Your Mandarin…

The Gormogons Posted on November 22, 2013 by The MandarinApril 6, 2014

Your Mandarin is very concerned about the possibility of a zombie apocalypse. Not because this is a piece of popular culture but more due to the fact that something may or may not have gone wrong in the lab the … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Bad Bad Teacher, Badgers, Barack Obama, Canada, Hubble Space Telescope, Judo, ObamaCare, Thanksgiving, zombie apocalypse

Canadian Banking Hysteria

The Gormogons Posted on October 18, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Island Dweller—he of the block quote—swung by the Castle lobby bar last night with a piece of paper in his hand. The paper was a printout from a website. Most magnificent Czar, etc & etc . . . A forum … Continue reading →

Posted in Banking, Canada, Financial Crisis, Financial Industry, Island Dweller

Mostly Non-Canadiana

The Gormogons Posted on April 7, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Our awesome number one Canadian reader (and most likely the number one Canadian, when we finally take over the world) submits some more thoughts: Mighty Czar, America’s most recent manufactured-outrage race kerfuffle (ie. the white-Hispanic man killing the black-black teen … Continue reading →

Posted in Bullshit racism accusations, Canada, Mailbag, Racism, The Obama Amateur Hour

Canadiana

The Gormogons Posted on March 29, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Big G is, of course, a world-spanning conspiracy. And to prove we are not simply right-wing American jingoists, we want to make an effort to appeal more to our overseas captives interests. With that in mind, we have our … Continue reading →

Posted in Canada, Spotlight On...

Keystone XL: GOP Certain to Tick Up in Polls

The Gormogons Posted on January 20, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Well, if you’re a person capable of reading a sentence and making it all the way to the end without forgetting what it was about, you can learn some things about our President. And if this describes his supporters, which … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Barack Obama, Canada, Election, Oil Black Gold Texas Tea, The Obama Amateur Hour

Canada Ditches Kyoto

The Gormogons Posted on December 13, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Canada will become the first country to officially withdraw from the Kyoto protocol.  Their Environment Minister, Peter Kent, announced the plans for the formal withdrawal on Monday: The Kyoto Protocol does not represent the path forward for Canada.  It’s now … Continue reading →

Posted in Canada, Climate Change, Kyoto Protocol

Canadian Update: Occupy THIS

The Gormogons Posted on October 17, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Our lonely Canadian writer submits for your approval: Mighty Czar, As expected, America’s most recent incarnation of left-wing political protest has been welcomed with open arms by Canada’s iPhone-loving anti-capitalists, enslaved and penniless professors, united anarchists, left-wing politicians and bureaucrats … Continue reading →

Posted in Canada, Occupy Wall Street

Urological Positivism

The Gormogons Posted on September 16, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Czar wonders why he sometimes gets ‘Puter’s mail. Batter up. Mighty Czar, I can’t think of an adequate way to introduce to this link. It quite simply just needs to be read. Glorious. A few thoughts spring to mind: … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Canada, Clint Eastwood, Mailbag

Canadiana

The Gormogons Posted on August 20, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

MH, whose loyalty will surely see him as sole ruler of the Canadianan provinces, brings you news that you just do not get here in the US. And indeed, this is a story the Czar knew nothing about. See why … Continue reading →

Posted in Canada, Defense spending, Military, Spotlight On...

Canadian News For Canadians

The Gormogons Posted on July 7, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Big G is, of course, a world-spanning conspiracy. And to prove we are not simply right-wing American jingoists, we want to make an effort to appeal more to our overseas captives interests. With that in mind, we have our … Continue reading →

Posted in Canada, Islam, Islamism, Multiculturalism, Public Schools

Mail Sports

The Gormogons Posted on June 26, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

A Canadian Reader writes in from the London you would want to visit with one of the strangest emails the Czar has received in a long time. Enjoy. Mighty Czar, Many thanks for the ‘Never attribute to malice what can … Continue reading →

Posted in Canada, Golf, Mailbag, Sports, Television, This sport really sucks

Vancouver Riots: Someone Is Behind Them

The Gormogons Posted on June 18, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Czar is going to reveal something that really should not surprise you. In fact, he has been saying it quite a lot over the last 48 hours, and no one who has asked the Czar has been surprised. The … Continue reading →

Posted in Anarchists, Canada, Fascism, Liberal Fascism

Consider Canada

The Gormogons Posted on April 7, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

This is post is dedicated strictly to the handful of liberal readers that we have; more conservative, bitter, unhappy, and nasty readers who want the Czar to produce good quality essays can simply read this 2009 post for now. Hello, … Continue reading →

Posted in Canada, Liberals

And Yet She Must Keyring

The Gormogons Posted on November 2, 2010 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

JL, an operative of ours presently relocating the Hudson Bay an inch at a time (didn’t notice, didja?) writes in: Today at the hardware store I stood in line beside a young airman, about 20 I presume, he had just … Continue reading →

Posted in And yet she must scream, Canada, Hello Kitty

Mailbag (or Le Sac Postal for the Québécois)

The Gormogons Posted on September 18, 2010 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Our sole Canadian reader, MH, write in: Mighty Czar, Given recent confusion amongst the worldwide Western political class over basic economics, human rights, free speech, Constitutions, and so forth, I have been quite busy stockpiling water, weapons and whey protein, … Continue reading →

Posted in Canada, Mailbag

Dr. K with the line of the day

The Gormogons Posted on April 16, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

What a relief. I don’t know about you, but I lie awake nights worrying about Canadian uranium. I know these people. I grew up there. You have no idea what they’re capable of doing. If Sidney Crosby hadn’t scored that … Continue reading →

Posted in Canada, Iran, Nukes, Pakistan, The Obama Amateur Hour

Canada: Evidently Like America But Not [Updated]

The Gormogons Posted on February 14, 2010 by The Czar of MuscovyFebruary 14, 2010

By the way, did anyone catch that puff piece before the Opening Ceremonies, in which a possibly inebriated Tom Brokaw attempted to introduce Canada to Americans, who apparently have never heard of it? No? Picture this. For five minutes, you … Continue reading →

Posted in Canada, Canadian Actors, Spotlight On...

Hey Quebec: STFU.

The Gormogons Posted on September 6, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovySeptember 6, 2009

The Czar, and it is safe to say the rest of the Gormogons, are hardly fans of the current Presidential administration and Congress. Yes, we would gleefully enjoy a 2010 Congressional enema, and would prefer to see a Republican president … Continue reading →

Posted in Canada, Insulting our President, Quebec, Sierra Tango Foxtrot Uniform, Spotlight On...

The tender mercies of ObamaCare, coming soon to a hospital near you

The Gormogons Posted on June 9, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.June 9, 2009

Once again, the Gormogons note, IT’S RATIONING! WHAT GOOD IS “FREE” MEDICINE WHEN YOU CAN’T GET CARE? My views changed in medical school. Yes, everyone in Canada is covered by a “single payer” — the government. But Canadians wait for … Continue reading →

Posted in Canada, Socialized Medicine

The Thirteen Days of Christmas

The Gormogons Posted on December 12, 2008 by 'PuterDecember 12, 2008

On the thirteenth day of Christmas, my GorT made for me, an animatronic woman substitute because I’m a lonely freakshow Canuck afraid of commitment and completely unattractive to the opposite sex! And a partridge in a pear tree! 'PuterAlways right, … Continue reading →

Posted in Canada, GorT, Robots

O(bese), Canadia!

The Gormogons Posted on November 21, 2008 by 'PuterNovember 21, 2008

‘Puter’s moving to Canadia, where he can exercise his new legal right to be as fat as he wants to be, to your detriment! Scoot over, gimme one of them seatbelt extenders and pass the poutine and Labatt’s! 'PuterAlways right, … Continue reading →

Posted in Canada

Age Discrimination You Can Believe In

The Gormogons Posted on November 18, 2008 by 'PuterNovember 18, 2008

‘Puter believes the employer in this instance has a solid argument for its discrimination on the basis of age. One can only dance for the Canadian Ballet for so long before it is apparent to even the least discriminating audience … Continue reading →

Posted in Ageism, Canada, Canadian Ballet, Ezra Levant, Mark Steyn

Free-speech crackdown (Updated)

The Gormogons Posted on October 21, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.October 21, 2008

Scripsit Ghettoputer: ‘Puter, for one, welcomes the upcoming Obama administration crackdown on free speech. The hypocrisy will make for some great blog fodder. Sure, until they start shutting down websites (scroll down to “Well, really, it is simple.”). Far-fetched? Canada … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Canada, Censorship, Fairness Doctrine, First Amendment, Freedom of Speech

Canada bugging out Afghanistan in 2011?

The Gormogons Posted on September 12, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 12, 2008

Yep, according to Harper. Of course, was he lying then or is he lying now? Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Afghanistan, Canada

Best Quote About McCain So Far This Election

The Gormogons Posted on September 12, 2008 by 'PuterSeptember 12, 2008

And, from Canada, of all places. Yeah, there’s lots of stuff McCain can’t do, like, oh, I dunno, raise his arms. To surrender. Even if he wanted to. Which he never will. Visit Five Feet of Fury. You’ll wish you’d … Continue reading →

Posted in Canada, Five Feet of Fury, John McCain, Shaidle

O Canada…

The Gormogons Posted on August 7, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 7, 2008

…stop hatin’ on our land… For the ‘Puter. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Canada

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About Us

A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone. ایمام سیزدهم

Scribble, scribble…

To contact your hosts and pledge your undying obedience, e-mail dr.j, gort, puter, theczar, themandarin or thenotoriousoev followed by the at sign, gormogons, then a ., and finally, com.

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