Ghettoputer, Regarding reasonable suggestions to immigration reform, the Czar has some brief comments. First, no retina scan. If you want biometrics, use an iris scan. Faster and more accurate. Retina scans are pretty much extinct because people’s retinas change over … Continue reading →
‘Puter didn’t realize the illegal immigrant community were fans of his writings. Notice how they’ve mastered the “Suck it, Czar” gestures? Conservatives are uptight, and rightly so, about immigration reform. Based on past experience, conservatives know two things. First, Democrats … Continue reading →
The ongoing debate about national service is hardly winding down; the Czar is not certain he has seen this much debate between our readers since a row between Operative Thump (deceased), Minion Hoogle (deceased), and Operative Cheever (deceased) in 1838 … Continue reading →
Czar takes a break from his taxing hike during the Plateau of Leng’s first and only Pride Parade. The parade was discontinued after a freak rainbow focused the light from our quasar sun, instantly vaporizing all organic material, leaving behind … Continue reading →
Sorry, folks. It’s long past time you started paying your own bills for your risky, beachfront properties instead of sticking Kansans with the bill. Actions have consequences. Unless, of course, Washington politicians insulate you from your action’s consequences with a … Continue reading →
Did you catch the State of the Union last night? We didn’t! The truth is that your Gormogons found far better things to do with our Tuesday evening. The Volgi: I watched the Caps-Sabres game. ’Puter considers nothing sweeter than … Continue reading →
For those not keeping pace, we have been having a fun, informative, and delightfully expanding discussion going on here over the idea of mandatory national service. If you are just joining us, please start here and then read this followup. … Continue reading →
‘Puter wouldn’t be surprised to start seeing anti-Catholic editorial cartoons on the NYT’s pages again, and soon, based on the paper’s evidenced anti-Catholic bigotry. ‘Puter’s had just about enough of enlightened liberals treating religion generally, and Roman Catholicism specifically, as … Continue reading →
There’s an App for that?!?Still not as creative as some of ‘Puter’s characters. Well, ‘Puter is a character. We’ve been lax in recognizing a few recent, notable anniversaries. The first is yesterday was Dungeons & Dragons’ 40th anniversary. Sort of. … Continue reading →
The Czar finished reading the Mandarin’s copy of Miracles and Massacres: True and Untold Stories of the Making of America. This is Glenn Beck’s latest work, and it has 304 pages that recount twelve different events in American history. Actually, … Continue reading →
The Czar believes one of the reasons the Left seems to be in total lunatic mode in the last couple years is a growing sense that they’re beaten. You know how, in the last days of any big war, the … Continue reading →
You might remember a few days ago that our beloved Castle archivist Marie found a whole box of old photos, and the Czar elected to scan a few of them and put them out here for you. As you know, … Continue reading →
Note: Dr. J likes “tagging” with blood… Continuing my thoughts from yesterday, GorT presents the second part of the dodging post. Dr. J nailed the poster as seen here on GorT’s door. I’ll start by saying that numbers like this … Continue reading →
The liberals’ team coach when debating GorT GorT has two items today where liberals are, in my opinion, attempting to change the focus and distract the country from some key points. The first is the ongoing narrative about global warmingclimate … Continue reading →
What’s awesome for all of us is when a good debate begins between two of our loyal readers. You will recall a letter from Island Dweller, in which he supported US Navy ADM Mike Mullen for suggesting a mandatory national … Continue reading →
Ole’ Grandaddy Dr. J. is the official Apple Aficionado™ of the Gormogons. While the love of Apple by the other Gormogons range from mild amusement, to grudging admiration, to apathy, to outright loathing, Dr. J. is the water carrying fanboy. … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin received yet another email regarding this post from the other day. To the Glorious and Armed Mandarin, I apologize for writing so tardily. I just returned from an alternate dimension into which I was sympathetically transported on reading your post. … Continue reading →
Voting is hard, claims the New York Times. Really, the New York Times is angry because voter fraud is getting harder. It’s the only way to make sense the editors’ four step voting reform program* proposed in this editorial. The … Continue reading →
President Obama has announced the launch of a Federal task force to combat sexual violence against women students. in other words, this is a group being hired at great taxpayer expense to solve a non-federal problem. Because Obama is growing … Continue reading →
Island Dweller writes in with a thought or two: Most esteemed ruler of the Midwestern Icebox: You know who else had a program of mandatory national service? No? This one sort of got away on us. When something like this … Continue reading →
Who knew Burkina Faso had a Pride Parade? Czar. that’s who. Operative SMR reports in from Upper Volta* where he’s on a super-secret mission for Czar and ‘Puter to discover a new fruit-based mixer to spice up our favorite drink, the … Continue reading →
Republicans need to stop letting Democrats beat them with the intellectual equivalent of this argument, courtesy of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. As the East Coast prepares for Winter Storm J-Anus,* ‘Puter thought he’d take a bit of time to … Continue reading →
Hey, you likely ask yourself, if you guys have been around so long, how come there are never any old pictures of yourselves? Actually, there are many! But our Royal Archivist is still rummaging through thousands of boxes in the … Continue reading →
The Retired Spook writes in to follow up on some recent items: Please convey my thanks to Operative BJ for his insightful analysis of the Gates memoir. Although we disagree on a few particulars, he covers the same ground that … Continue reading →
Long time readers will pick up on this immediately but our more causal readers might need a quick reminder: GorT thinks that Congress needs to following its statutory responsibility and pass a federal budget. Every year. I’ve heard recent rumblings … Continue reading →
The media is starting to realize that former Defense Secretary Robert Gates did not do the Democrats any favors with his memoir. Operative BJ wants us to know that Gates, frankly, did no one any favors with his memoir: O … Continue reading →
So this is where Czar goes on vacation! ‘Puter’s had a heckuva start to the New Year, what with picking up pieces of year-end 2013 closings at the office, and dealing with back-to-school craziness at home. In the rush, ‘Puter … Continue reading →
Dr. J. apologizes for the delay in posting this missive addressed to the Czar but forwarded to Dr. J. from the one and only Uncle Jay: Dear Dread & Awful.: A vast smoke screen, wasn’t it? This whole Polar Votrex … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin received via shortwave radio signal the following comments in response to the post No Guns Allowed. Your Mandarin snapped this picture to which theCzar commented, “What, did they run out of rob us signs?” The first comes from … Continue reading →
The Left has lost it. This is not news, of course, but the evidence is now irrefutable. Any liberal that thinks—assuming that is possible—that their side has got their crap together would have a hard time explaining today’s headlines. This … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin aside from being a member of the National Rifle Association, is also a member of the Illinois State Rifle Association. Your Mandarin received the following informational alert concerning the new Illinois Concealed Carry law and dealing with business … Continue reading →
Island Dweller unfortunately helps to confirm something the Czar is suspecting: Dear Czarness – and Most Esteemed Puter – There are things an increasingly resurgent and formerly hostile European power should be confronted about, but isn’t – and things that … Continue reading →
Meet Ethel Anderson, a Hillsborough, FL “educator,” recently convicted of nailing her 5th grade charge. These are the sorts of teachers unionism rewards at the expense of all the good teachers. One of ‘Puter’s longtime friends* – a high school A.P. … Continue reading →
GorT’s company is hiring. We’re a small company and the founders are ruing the day when they have to make the decision to hire employee #50 with all the federal mandates that come with that. As part of this hiring, … Continue reading →
So writes in Island Dweller: Your august majesty It’s still very early in the game for detailed analysis of the House Armed Services Committee information released yesterday, and I have not read the entire 450-page screed, rather only a synopsis … Continue reading →
Perhaps you heard that over 2 million people have participated in Obamacare since October. This has been a major story on many Obama-friendly news outlets, as they celebrate how wrong conservatives were to celebrate the broken website issue in October. … Continue reading →
Believe it or not, this photo is in the eighth row of Google results if you google “Leaping Peacock.” This bears no resemblance to the Leaping Peacock Czar and ‘Puter frequent, at least not when ‘Puter and Czar are conscious. ‘Puter thinks … Continue reading →
We don’t always make the news, but we did the other day. Here is a review of one of our favorite hangouts, the Leaping Peacock, which is just across the road and down a bit from the Castle Gormogon. This … Continue reading →
Operative BJ would like to reply to Operative SMR, which the Czar—because he is a benevolent homicidal maniac Czar—encourages. Getting email from any one of you is rewarding enough, but when the readership starts exchanging ideas, well, then this site … Continue reading →
Uncle Jay, as many of you know, travels the world going from major sporting event to major sporting event, and rigging them to win insignificant amounts of money. Last year alone, he confided to Borepatch that he raked in over … Continue reading →
And it wouldn’t be Thursday without Island Dweller spotting something to tick us off. He brings up the subject of former Defense Secretary Gates: Most illustrious, dread, awful, and so on – Your slightly chilled minion here in the hinterlands … Continue reading →
There may not be any such thing as a welfare queen but welfare may be far too generous to achieve its desired end: returning people to the world of work so they can buy fabulous cars like Czar’s, pictured. ‘Puter … Continue reading →
Ghost materialized in the lobby with a tablet in his hand…a real tablet, chiseled, not one of those iPatty things. Dread Lord, This came to my attention via Facebook from a Gen X’er. I find his gibberings to ooze obsequiousness … Continue reading →
The following essay is a guest post from Operative SMR. We remind our readers that you are welcome to submit your thoughts either as an email or as a complete essay. Most Dread and Awful Czar, With regard to your … Continue reading →
Operative BJ brings the heat, taking the Czar’s late-night rant on Rights versus Privileges to an even simpler level of clarity: Great and glorious Czar, I plead forgiveness before asking: Does not the Constitution define the powers of the Federal … Continue reading →
The Czar assumes by now you know of allegations—pretty convincing ones, really—that very senior members New Jersey governor Chris Christie’s staff were involved in a brutal form of political punishment, in which it said they ordered the pointless shutdown of … Continue reading →
Surely by now you have been treated to the unassailable wisdom of Jesse A. Myerson, Super Genius. Mr. Myerson shared his keen economic insights with Americans on the pages of that renowned financial publication, Rolling Stonein an article titled simply … Continue reading →
With the freakishly cold weather that killed everyone on Earth this week, a lot of local news stations are asking some questions. Thousands of air passengers found their flights delayed, cancelled, or rerouted. What are your rights as an airline … Continue reading →
Feels like 8º F outside – did you check your pipes? GorT settled down enough after his post yesterday morning enough to read his email and found this one from Ghost: Shiny Robot Lord I am sick to death of … Continue reading →
CBS News took a look at their polling numbers for President Obama over the last 12 months and concluded things aren’t going well for him. It could be worse than even this. Of interest is their conclusion that three things … Continue reading →
NYT Headline: World to end tomorrow, women and minorities hardest hit. Gentle Readers, Dr. J. would like to expound upon ‘Puter’s ‘Putertastic ‘Polemic posted earlier today. Hey, even if it isn’t as good as your last job, it’s good enough! … Continue reading →
Jesus reads the Washington Post religiously and is not amused with E.J. Dionne citing Him as authority for every hare-brained liberal scheme on the planet, especially those that harm – not help – the poor. Ah, E.J. Dionne. Is there a better object lesson in … Continue reading →
GorT forecasts that 2014 will be a banner year for the liberal idiot. They will be coming out of the woodwork will all sorts of crazy for a few reasons: deflect from or defend the botched PP-ACA rollout (now with … Continue reading →
The prayer candle that Dr. J. lit for Lady and Loki J.’s breeder. Lady J. and Loki J.’ breeder suddenly fell ill this week with meningitis and is in the intensive care unit. He is critically ill and while it’s … Continue reading →
Today is the coldest day in Earth history, and none of us are expected to survive. Not really, but you get the idea. It’s in all the papers. ‘Puter and Mrs. ‘Puter, along with the boys, go down the driveway … Continue reading →
The Democratic war machines are starting to fire up, but instead of gasoline, they’ve kind of been running on dryer lint this time around. Three observations. First, it appears that Clay Aiken is considering a run for Congress as a … Continue reading →
This is one half of the Democrats’ brain trustthat came up with the punishing, poorlythought through legislation known as Dodd-Frank. Two thoughts: (1) what makes Democrats think this guy thinks about anything other than where his next meal’s coming from and (2) Barneythe … Continue reading →
Non-Chicago readers—which is most of you—will recall that a long-time Chicago icon is now gone. Dominick’s grocery stores, which had one or two stores in every neighborhood and suburb, closed its doors for good last week. The problem, very simply, … Continue reading →
Don’t bother Mr. Dionne before he’s had his third cup of bat-sh!t crazy juice in the morning, orhe’ll smirk you to death. E.J. Dionne is to logic as a golf umbrella is to prostate checks: seemingly compatible at first glance, yet … Continue reading →
More mail from the masses. Your Majesty, I’m certain you recall my story of the pair of CFL bulbs, where one died after a few weeks and the other was still good? Tonight, the other one died. I found that … Continue reading →
What are your revolutions resolutions for the New Year? No, don’t write in with them, because none of us really care. That was our resolution for 2013, which we mostly upheld. The Volgi: He resolves to be less rococo and … Continue reading →
