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Way Back

The Gormogons Posted on January 21, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Hey, you likely ask yourself, if you guys have been around so long, how come there are never any old pictures of yourselves? Actually, there are many! But our Royal Archivist is still rummaging through thousands of boxes in the … Continue reading →

Posted in Nude Photos, Sleestak, Vietnam, Volgi, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

After the Drinking at the Castle

The Gormogons Posted on December 22, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Click to embiggen… GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including … Continue reading →

Posted in #pajamaboy, 'Puter, Gormogons, Merry Christmas, Sleestak, The Czar, Twitter

No One Messes With ‘Puter’s Huy Fong Chili Garlic Sauce. No One.

The Gormogons Posted on November 1, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

   Quit complaining, Irwindale residents. You could be Dat Ho’s cousin Dis Ho who works in Huy Fong’s chili mines. ‘Puter was luxuriating in the Castle’s naturally occurring hot springs,* conveniently located just down the hall from ‘Puter’s Rumpus … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Dat Ho, Gormogon Operatives, Old Spice, Sleestak

The Gormogon’s Summer Vacation – Introduction*

The Gormogons Posted on August 13, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Like much of America, the Gormogons vacation as well.  Sometimes it’s on our own with our own families and a number of us have posted assorted accounts for your amusement and edification.  First a little background to orient our dear … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Dat Ho, Dr. J., Gormogon Summer Vacation, Gormogonica, GorT, Sleestak, The Czar, The Mandarin, Volgi

Sleestak and Zimmerman?

The Gormogons Posted on July 25, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

This is weird. The Czar received not one but two emails within minutes of each other regarding a claim on the Internet that Sleestak may have shot Trayvon Martin. First, Borepatch wrote in followed a few moments later by Chiefjaybob, … Continue reading →

Posted in Borepatch, Mailbag, Minion, Minions, Sleestak

More Minifigures

The Gormogons Posted on September 4, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Man, you people get so needy. All right. By popular demand, we have added a second series of MiniFigures for your Castle Gormogon sets! Die-hard fans will be certain to gouge other people’s eyes out in order to get their … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, 2-1B, Castle Gormogon, Dat Ho, Dr. J., Gormogonica, Gormogons, GorT, Sleestak, The Czar of Muscovy, The Gormogonickal Seal of Approval®, The Mandarin, Volgi, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

Gormogon MiniFigures

The Gormogons Posted on September 3, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Admit it! Wouldn’t you sometimes rather act out your own Gormogon posts, rather than read the ones we actually put here? Seriously, don’t you just want to go all ‘Puter on NPR once in a while? Or have the Czar … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, 2-1B, Castle Gormogon, Dat Ho, Dr. J., Gormogonica, Gormogons, GorT, Sleestak, The Czar of Muscovy, The Gormogonickal Seal of Approval®, The Mandarin, Volgi, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

Earhart’s Crash Site

The Gormogons Posted on August 22, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Researchers tracking the potential crash site for Amelia Earhart’s plane.  The popular theory is that she and her navigator, Fred Noonan, ran out of fuel over the Pacific Ocean as they were heading towards Howland Island.  A contrary theory is … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, Gormogonica, Sleestak, The Mandarin

The Sidekicks’ Christmas Trees

The Gormogons Posted on December 24, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Given how infected with the Christmas spirit your Gormogons are this year, with GorT’s Advent Calendar, Dr. J.’s Christmas singles, Volgi’s Christmas albums, and other various and sundry Chrismassy posts past, present, and yet to come…Dr. J. doubts you could … Continue reading →

Posted in 2-1B, Castle Gormogon, Dat Ho, Merry Christmas, Sleestak

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 12

The Gormogons Posted on December 12, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

The Czar camped out all night watching the calendar just to make sure that a repeat of day 5 didn’t occur.  So, a ragged-looking, spear-carrying Czar slowly opened the door on day 12 of the advent calendar to reveal: He … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Merry Christmas, Sleestak, The Czar of Muscovy

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 5

The Gormogons Posted on December 5, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Each morning the Czar sits patiently in the corner of the group as others open their advent calendar, but the look on his face tells the tale – he wants it to be his turn so bad that someone’s going … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Merry Christmas, Sleestak, The Czar of Muscovy

Hello? This Thing On?

The Gormogons Posted on August 13, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Let us see. Volgi is hiding up in his quarters with that goofy Yeti of his, watching another Sonny Chiba movie on Beta. Yeah, he sits there with his iPad now, Twittering all day. Averages about 800 tweets a day, … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Castle Gormogon, Dat Ho, Dr. J., GGorT, gonica, GorT, Grand Moghul, Prince Tochmas, Sleestak, The Czar of Muscovy, The Mandarin, Volgi, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

Separated At Birth?

The Gormogons Posted on June 16, 2011 by The MandarinApril 6, 2014

Your Mandarin has been thinking about this quite a lot lately. Is CNN’s Randi Kaye any relation to our own Sleestak? I tried asking Sleestak, but truthfully, that stutter of his makes him hard to understand. The MandarinThe Mandarin, whose … Continue reading →

Posted in CNN, Journalism, Sleestak, Television

Morons and Their Dumb Ideas

The Gormogons Posted on October 30, 2010 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

The Czar has found Sleestak’s cell phone. It was in his sleeping pylon. The good news is that this disproves that a character in a Charlie Chaplin film found the phone and is talking on cell phone in 1928. First, … Continue reading →

Posted in Cellphones, GorTechie's Time Travel Adventures, Sleestak

Sleestak’s Letter To His Mommy

The Gormogons Posted on May 13, 1990 by The Czar of MuscovyMay 13, 1990

Well, as you know, Sleestak mostly communicates by hissing noises, and it was years before ‘Puter even realized he had an accent. But over time, we learned to communicate a fair bit with him, and today, on this Mother’s Day, … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Holidays, Mother's Day, Sleestak

Visitor’s Guide

About Us

A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone. ایمام سیزدهم

Scribble, scribble…

To contact your hosts and pledge your undying obedience, e-mail dr.j, gort, puter, theczar, themandarin or thenotoriousoev followed by the at sign, gormogons, then a ., and finally, com.

De Gormogonorum Mysteriis

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