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Re: Re: Cosmos

The Gormogons Posted on April 1, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. wrote The Czar earlier today: Dear The Czar,  You pretty much nailed my issues with the show. Sagan’s show was a series of self-contained episodes. Each one had a logical flow and a beginning and an end.  Sagan … Continue reading →

Posted in Cosmos, GorT, The Czar

1,500,000 Thank Yous

The Gormogons Posted on March 11, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Our reach is vast. This morning, your Gormogon overlords had their 1.5 millionth hit. This translates to a hit about every thirty seconds since our inception. Over seven thousand and six hundred posts later and the hits keep coming. We … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Aircraft, Castle Gormogon, France, Internet, Mandarin, MH370, Minions, mystery, Thank You, The Czar, Volgi

In Which Dr. J. Has An Opposing Point of View OR The Subversive Oscars

The Gormogons Posted on March 3, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. typically walks in lock step with GorT on most issues, especially the mocking of self-important left wing celebrities who support causes that either offend the sensibilities of (e.g. Planned Parenthood), or by effect keep the regular folk down … Continue reading →

Posted in Disney, Dr. J. Style, Ellen, Frozen, Hollywood conservatives, Idina Menzel, Jared Leto, Let It Go, Lil Resident, Oscars, Progressives, The Czar

Mailbag – Bag-o-pups Edition

The Gormogons Posted on February 11, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gentle Readers, In addition to the Olympics, the Westminster Dog Show is taking place! That’s an event that will never be hosted in Sochi, for very obvious reasons, including the fact that the Venn diagram of dog show people and … Continue reading →

Posted in Conspiracy theories from Saturn, Dogs Are Better Than Cats, Dr. J. Style, Lady J., Loki J., Media Bias, Mrs. Dr. J., Retired Spook, The Czar, Westminster Dog Show

Your Gormogons Review the SOTU

The Gormogons Posted on January 29, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Did you catch the State of the Union last night? We didn’t! The truth is that your Gormogons found far better things to do with our Tuesday evening. The Volgi: I watched the Caps-Sabres game. ’Puter considers nothing sweeter than … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Dr. J., Gallows Humor, Gormogon Infighting, GorT, Hockey, SOTU, State of the Union, The Czar, The Mandarin, The Obama Amateur Hour, Volgi

Male Bag: Write Your Congressman Edition

The Gormogons Posted on January 22, 2014 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Who knew Burkina Faso had a Pride Parade? Czar. that’s who. Operative SMR reports in from Upper Volta* where he’s on a super-secret mission for Czar and ‘Puter to discover a new fruit-based mixer to spice up our favorite drink, the … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Gormogon Operatives, Mailbag, Suck It Czar, The Czar

After the Drinking at the Castle

The Gormogons Posted on December 22, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Click to embiggen… GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including … Continue reading →

Posted in #pajamaboy, 'Puter, Gormogons, Merry Christmas, Sleestak, The Czar, Twitter

Dr. J.’s Best College Prank!

The Gormogons Posted on December 13, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

College in the age of the 13th Imam, PBUH! Gentle Reader, The Czar, our self-styled merry prankster has gotten each of us more than once. The cherry in ‘Puter’s Manhattan, hilarious stuff! Dr. J., as an act of revenge, pranked … Continue reading →

Posted in College, Dr. J., Humor, Pranks, The Czar

‘Puter and Czar’s Survival Guide: Kids’ Music Recitals Edition

The Gormogons Posted on November 12, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

If you are a parent who thinks it’s OK to dress your 4 year old daughter up to look like this, then parade her in front of strangers, you should reexamine yourcore beliefs before Czar and ‘Puter showup on your … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Kids These Days, Music, Parenting is hard, Suck It Czar, The Czar

The Meme Is Here OR Dr. J. Lies OR Shorter The Czar

The Gormogons Posted on October 2, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gentle Readers, Dr. J. saw this meme and had to post it, breaking radio silence 4 hours earlier than planned. It nicely summarizes The Czar’s excellent ~1021 word polemic in one picture and 21 words. Back to your regularly scheduled … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Government, Dr. J. Style, Government Shutdown, Meme, The Czar, The Obama Amateur Hour, Veterans’ Affairs, World War II

‘Puter’s iPhone Playlist: Into the Deranged Mind of ‘Puter

The Gormogons Posted on September 9, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Bob Dylan (a/k/a Robert Zimmerman) is one of ‘Puter’s favorite artists. Also, Mr. Dylan, a Minnesotan Jew by birth, would write much better liturgical music than either OCP or the St. Louis Jesuits ‘Puter digs him some music, music of … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Gormogonica, GorT, Minions, Music, Roman Catholics, The Czar

That’s the last time we let Volgi tip…

The Gormogons Posted on September 2, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Nothing says good tipper like a monolith dedicated to an ancient evil…  Operative RKB wrote again to Dr. J. and Borepatch. It seems someone has claimed part of Oklahoma for the Old Gods: Yes, yes, that was us. You see, … Continue reading →

Posted in Borepatch, Gormogon Operatives, Gormogon Summer Vacation, Gormogonica, GorT, Iä Iä Great Cthulhu, The Czar, Volgi

The Gormogon’s Summer Vacation – Introduction*

The Gormogons Posted on August 13, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Like much of America, the Gormogons vacation as well.  Sometimes it’s on our own with our own families and a number of us have posted assorted accounts for your amusement and edification.  First a little background to orient our dear … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Dat Ho, Dr. J., Gormogon Summer Vacation, Gormogonica, GorT, Sleestak, The Czar, The Mandarin, Volgi

‘Puter Reworks the NCAA Football And Basketball Rules To Reflect Reality

The Gormogons Posted on August 12, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

His name may rhyme with Heisman now, but Joeshould’ve chosen to make Theismann rhyme with“OMG, I’m never going to walk again!” It’d havebeen way, way more accurate. Unlike professional baseball in America and professional soccer everywhere else in the known … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter's Always Right, Basketball, College Athletes, NCAA, Sports, Talkin' Football, The Czar

Stent-mania 2 – Overutilization Boogaloo or Dr. Rarity Strikes Back

The Gormogons Posted on August 7, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

The Czar, Mandy and the Volgi enjoy the life prolonging balance of pork fat, beef fat and chicken fat at Portillo’s. Dr. J. hopes you’ve enjoyed your fill of smoked pork with The Czar, GorT and ‘Puter. You can get … Continue reading →

Posted in Cardiovascular Disease, Chicago, George W. Bush, Heart, Media Bias, My Little Pony, Stent, The Czar, The Mandarin, Volgi

Smoking Ribs, ‘Puter Style

The Gormogons Posted on August 7, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Not that kind of meat smoking, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Since both Czar and GorT have shared their secrets for smoking ribs with you, our beloved readers, ‘Puter thought he’d share his secrets as well. Czar and … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Castle Gormogon, Food, Gormogon Infighting, GorT, The Czar

Re: Smoking Ribs

The Gormogons Posted on August 6, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT enjoyed the Czar’s post on smoking ribs but has a few differences in his own method that GorT thought to take a minute during his 2-week vacation to write about it (plus, the rest of the family is sleeping … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, cooking, GorT, The Czar

How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat y’er meat!

The Gormogons Posted on July 12, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Hey, teacher, leave us kids alone! The school cafeteria has been the stuff of derision since time immemorial. When Dr. J. was a yout’ he learned pretty early after a hearty breakfast of oatmeal, orange juice and tea; that a Fluffernutter™, … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, bacon, Dr. J., nutrition, Public Schools, The Czar, The Michelle Obama Amateur Hour

Luddite President

The Gormogons Posted on July 5, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Insert images of sad puppies in the sweltering heat of teh globul warmyngzes! The Czar and GorT have called a spade a spade with regard to the willful ignorance of liberals when it comes to science. Dr. J. had to … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Environment, Charles Krauthammer, EPA, GorT, Phoney Science, The Czar, The Obama Amateur Hour

Volgi left us the keys to the Sanctum Sanctorum

The Gormogons Posted on June 24, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. received this inter-castle memo over the weekend from Confucius ( 孔夫子), the Œcumenical Volgi (The Notorious ŒV): To: GorT, Ghettoputer, The Czar of Muscovy, The Inscrutable Mandarin, Dr. J.  From :孔夫子, the Œcumenical Volgi (The Notorious ŒV)  Re: … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Bronies, Castle Gormogon, Dr. J., Gormogon Infighting, GorT, My Little Pony, The Czar, The Inscrutable Mandarin, Turkey, Volgi

Father’s Day with your Gormogons

The Gormogons Posted on June 16, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Happy Fathers Day to all of our readers who are fathers or who have fathers! Let’s take a look around Castle Gormogon to see what the Fathers Day Fairy brought your Gormogon Overlords, Fathers to All, muah ha ha ha … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Bronies, Dr. J., Fathers Day, GorT, Green Lantern, Hello Kitty, Iä Iä Great Cthulhu, The Czar, The Mandarin, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

Get Over Yourself: A Thoughtful ‘Puter Response To Czar (Now, With Added RGIII!)

The Gormogons Posted on May 1, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

The Media walks home, tornpanties and damaged dignity in hand from the Left’s dorm roomafter a late night booty call. ‘Puter noted Czar included “‘Puter” as a label on his not-totally-lame post immediately below. ‘Puter guesses that his fellow Gormogons now … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, 'Puter's Always Right, Gays, Hail to the Redskins, Main Stream Media, Media Bias, MSM, Political Correctness, Stupid People, The Czar

In Which an Adorable Teen Channels The Gormogons

The Gormogons Posted on April 5, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

…well maybe not Puter as he’s a tad ribald. This young lady from the People’s Republic of Maryland area testifies at a hearing of Maryland legislators and decimates the arguments for stricter gunlaws in 3 minutes flat. If you’re not … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Girls With Guns, Gun control, Gun Ownership, People's Republic of Maryland, The Czar, The Inscrutable Mandarin

More Czar Traditions

The Gormogons Posted on March 13, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

‘Puter nailed this article to the Czar’s locked bedroom door, in hopes we saw it. We had not, and indeed we are creeped out a little by it…only because it was nailed to the inside of our locked door. Most … Continue reading →

Posted in Lent, The Czar, The Czar of Muscovy

Jindal Agrees With The Czar

The Gormogons Posted on January 25, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Have you read Governor Bobby Jindal’s kick-in-the-pants speech from Charlotte? Read the whole thing, especially if you want to have a really good day. In the speech, Gov. Jindal lists seven things that Republicans need to do to win elections. … Continue reading →

Posted in Bobby Brady Jindal, Election Results, Republicans, The Czar, The Czar of Muscovy, What is to be done?

Spend Christmas Eve With the Czar!

The Gormogons Posted on December 24, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

 Greetings. cretins! Today is Рождественский сочельник, or Christmas Eve. This is a big deal for people with Slavic blood; in fact, outsiders might think that Christmas Eve is a bigger deal than Christmas Day for Slavs. This is understandable: Christmas … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Merry Christmas, Mrs. The Czar, The Czar, The Czar of Muscovy

The Czar’s Christmas Tree

The Gormogons Posted on December 8, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

These are just the blueprints. You should see it live… It’s Glocktastic! Dr. J.

Continue reading →
Posted in Gormogon Infighting, Guns, Merry Christmas, The Czar

How to Stop a Nightmare

The Gormogons Posted on November 30, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

For those of you who love cute animal videos (The Czar), or nightmares (The Czar) one of Dr. J.’s chums forwarded this to him: Dr. J.

Continue reading →
Posted in Kittens, The Czar

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About Us

A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone. ایمام سیزدهم

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To contact your hosts and pledge your undying obedience, e-mail dr.j, gort, puter, theczar, themandarin or thenotoriousoev followed by the at sign, gormogons, then a ., and finally, com.

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