Our reach is vast. This morning, your Gormogon overlords had their 1.5 millionth hit. This translates to a hit about every thirty seconds since our inception. Over seven thousand and six hundred posts later and the hits keep coming. We … Continue reading →
Did you catch the State of the Union last night? We didn’t! The truth is that your Gormogons found far better things to do with our Tuesday evening. The Volgi: I watched the Caps-Sabres game. ’Puter considers nothing sweeter than … Continue reading →
There’s an App for that?!?Still not as creative as some of ‘Puter’s characters. Well, ‘Puter is a character. We’ve been lax in recognizing a few recent, notable anniversaries. The first is yesterday was Dungeons & Dragons’ 40th anniversary. Sort of. … Continue reading →
Hey, you likely ask yourself, if you guys have been around so long, how come there are never any old pictures of yourselves? Actually, there are many! But our Royal Archivist is still rummaging through thousands of boxes in the … Continue reading →
What fun! Let’s open up the Czar’s mailbox to see what you all have to say. First up, we have Mark Spahn, of West Seneca, New York, with some questions on our lightbulb guide. Thank you, your Czarosity, for [your … Continue reading →
Every once in a while a topic comes up that places your Gormogons on differing sides of Castle. However, GorT feels he needs to clear the air regarding the metric system. This post originally was longer but after the Czar … Continue reading →
Well, we Gormogons love infighting. Watching the playful shoving match between Dr. J., GorT, and Volgi over the metric system is a strong reminder to you readers that we Castle men do not march in lockstep. Each of the Czar’s … Continue reading →
Today, thanks to time travel, we were able to hold our First Annual Turkey Contest yesterday. And the results were about what you would expect. As you know, all of us Gormogons are superlative cooks in at least one area … Continue reading →
The other day, we all received one of the best question we have ever received. The Czar makes this claim because all six of us were quite excited by the nature of the question: To the Gracious, Learned, Infallible, and … Continue reading →
Nothing says good tipper like a monolith dedicated to an ancient evil… Operative RKB wrote again to Dr. J. and Borepatch. It seems someone has claimed part of Oklahoma for the Old Gods: Yes, yes, that was us. You see, … Continue reading →
Like much of America, the Gormogons vacation as well. Sometimes it’s on our own with our own families and a number of us have posted assorted accounts for your amusement and edification. First a little background to orient our dear … Continue reading →
The Czar, Mandy and the Volgi enjoy the life prolonging balance of pork fat, beef fat and chicken fat at Portillo’s. Dr. J. hopes you’ve enjoyed your fill of smoked pork with The Czar, GorT and ‘Puter. You can get … Continue reading →
He looks nothing like that in real life. Mark Spahn, the Lord Ruler of West Seneca, New York and frequent writer took a deep interest in Dr. J.’s Thought for the Day last week, ( 子曰無欲速無見小利欲速則不達 – for anyone who wanted to … Continue reading →
That won’t cause nightmares! She’s really nice in person! Gentle Readers, Thank you for celebrating our fifth blogiversary with us. This morning, when we awoke, we found six neatly wrapped presents from the Blogiversary Fairy™. The Blogiversary Fairy is a … Continue reading →
Something special for our 5th anniversary? How about a picture we have not uploaded before? Here you are! This is us on the National Mallsee the Lincoln Memorial?we took back in 1994. From left, theres Sleestak, Ghettoputer F.X. Gormogon, GorTechie … Continue reading →
Dr. J. received this inter-castle memo over the weekend from Confucius ( 孔夫子), the Œcumenical Volgi (The Notorious ŒV): To: GorT, Ghettoputer, The Czar of Muscovy, The Inscrutable Mandarin, Dr. J. From :孔夫子, the Œcumenical Volgi (The Notorious ŒV) Re: … Continue reading →
When Dr. J. was on the road last week, the latest AHA guidelines were published to great media fanfare. Indeed you, Gentle Reader, probably saw something in the news. Dr. J. decided to review the guidelines and share his reflections on … Continue reading →
Now, you understand, this is not the Volgi singing. It is, however, Roy Wood. And it gives you a weird idea of why Volgi would never do his own rock video. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный … Continue reading →
Man, you people get so needy. All right. By popular demand, we have added a second series of MiniFigures for your Castle Gormogon sets! Die-hard fans will be certain to gouge other people’s eyes out in order to get their … Continue reading →
Admit it! Wouldn’t you sometimes rather act out your own Gormogon posts, rather than read the ones we actually put here? Seriously, don’t you just want to go all ‘Puter on NPR once in a while? Or have the Czar … Continue reading →
Hey, look what Volgi has EmilyG doing at the Castle! The Czar doesn’t get this stuff, but has to admit this is a neat trick. We need to get pictures of what happened with the lawn darts and bowl of … Continue reading →
Volgi has a cat, does he not? Also, you should know that Mandarin actually smiled at this. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of … Continue reading →
It is not playing during prime hours, so perhaps you missed it? Shame that Vince the Sham-Wow guy backed out at the last minute. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The … Continue reading →
Minion ScottO writes in with a tuple of questions spread across three Gormogons: Gentlemen and overlords, Your 3 posts inspired questions, so you get a 3-fer email. First, GorTechie: I recognize the idea of Federal laws superseding State, but if … Continue reading →
With everybody back at the Castle, the Czar thought he would stroll around and see what everyone was doing. And then, just like that, the Czar thought he would poll around about New Year’s resolutions. We wandered down to the … Continue reading →
We’re in the final stretch of the advent season and it is a time to be generous. Generous with your spirit, your hospitality and your charity. So today’s advent door is a door into some of the charities that your … Continue reading →
The Volgi is old….school. Well, old too. So, he was happy opening today’s door on the calendar and getting his gift: It is nostalgic for him while functional as it has a 3-CD loader. He has already loaded up all … Continue reading →
Mandy finally got the Volgi to stop pushing those huge blocks about the castle. Periodically, you’d hear: thuuuump. Thuuump. Thuuuump. And you’d look out your door and the Volgi had lined up several blocks to spell some message in 2′ … Continue reading →
A very happy and most wonderful Thanksgiving from all of us at the Castle (well, maybe not the Tcho-Tchos). As many of you know, Thanksgiving is the Czar’s favorite holiday; even better than the Feast of Zdravgul, which we celebrated … Continue reading →
Let us see. Volgi is hiding up in his quarters with that goofy Yeti of his, watching another Sonny Chiba movie on Beta. Yeah, he sits there with his iPad now, Twittering all day. Averages about 800 tweets a day, … Continue reading →
Ordinarily, on a holiday like Memorial Day, you get a lecture about how good you have it, and how you should be remembering all those lost lives rather than going out and partying. Not this year, though. Instead, with this … Continue reading →
A typical email, but one we chose because it seems really flattering: Do my eyes deceive me, or is there new wallpaper in the background on the blog? What is it, and who picked it out? It looks very nice … Continue reading →
Uncle Jay sends us this, written in charcoal on the back of a corrugated PVC lawn sign: O Cruel and Vicious Czar, By the Grace of God, Emperor and Autocrat of All the Russias, of Moscow, Kiev, Vladimir, Novgorod, yadda … Continue reading →
Şɵ ʛøɾŤ שׂɾɨʈēʂ ʊק ʈħɨʂ ɳēשׂ קɨēçē øʄ ʂøʄʈשׂăɾē ħē ɕăɭɭʂ ɤøɭğɨɳɨʑēɾ, שׂħɨçħ ʈɾăɳʂʄøɾɱʂ ўøʊɾ ʈēϰʈ ʈɵ ɭøøк ɭɨкē ʂøɱēʈħɨɳğ ʈħē ɤøɭğɨ ɱɨğħʈ ħăɤē שׂɾɨʈʈēɳ. Ťħē ʂøʄʈשׂăɾē ɨʂ קɾēʈʈў ɳēăʈ; ʈħē ɕʑăɾ ɾăɳ ɨʈ ħēɾē, ăɳɖ ɨʈ ɭøøкʂ קɾēʈʈў ğøøɖ. … Continue reading →
So look what the Volgi dug up in the basement. It’s from a 1954 issue of Collier’s magazine. Yep, before all the global cooling… wait, global warming… heck, now it’s cooling again… began. Do your Gormogons believe in man-made climate … Continue reading →
As you know, the Gormogons have many, many secret and special projects under way at any given moment. Some are so important, that we trust them not even to our favorite underlings. The Volgi, for example, returned from the 8th … Continue reading →
With the Volgi away taking care of matters, the Czar foolishly agreed to cover for him while he was gone. Needless to say, this place has gone to hell and he’s only been gone for a day. The phone hasn’t … Continue reading →
Every ultra-secret society needs an easy-to-find website. And it is the one-year anniversary of this one! As a way of celebrating, here’s a simple user guide to most things Gormogon. Learn More About Us Although the Gormogons claim roughly five … Continue reading →
So, yeah, your Œc. Vol. visited the Czar’s domains yesterday, and we had a nice time, or at least so thought Confucius*. The Czar seems to have been baffled by the Volgi’s pronunciation of “Volgi,” or as the Volgi would … Continue reading →
Moments after the Czar pre-apologized to all of you that the Mandarin and your Volgi would be unable to post for a day, the two of them elected to mess with the Czar and put up some substantive posts. It … Continue reading →
The Mandarin journeys to the West today, allegedly due to some scrutables rumored to exist there—and if so, he shall surely inscrutalize them for us—to which end he shall not post today. Meanwhile, 孔夫子, otherwise known as your Œcumenical Volgi … Continue reading →
The Czar of Muscovy is overwhelmed to accept such a glorious invitation to post here on the Gormogons website. This is quite a smart bunch, and your Czar is as humbled as one (gifted by the grace of God with … Continue reading →
Poor Volgi. The Gormogons wish you a speedy recovery from your unfortunate Malaysian karaoke injury. It’s a little known fact that Volgi’s favorite passtime is to travel to foreign lands, karaoke in the native language, and pick fights with the … Continue reading →
Interestingly, the Volgi had similar complaints when he was imprisoned (falsely, according to the Volgi) in Kazakhstan for “corrupting the youth”: Italy Co-ed Murder Suspect Says Cell Mates Ask Her for Sex Because She Is Pretty. 'PuterAlways right, unless he … Continue reading →
