Way Back
Hey, you likely ask yourself, if you guys have been around so long, how come there are never any old pictures of yourselves? Actually, there are many! But our Royal Archivist is still rummaging through thousands of boxes in the Castle basement, and that work is slow going when she has to run up the stairs in terror every thirty minutes because something moved on its own, or a shadow has vanished that was there a second ago.
Anyway, Marie found a box. Here is one pic out of the box. On the back, theres a note in pencil Saigon 1923. Looks like Volgi is taking Sleestak out for a walk. You notice the streets are pretty deserted with all the locals wondering what the hell the reptile is.

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.