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The Gormogons

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Monthly Archives: February 2011

The Lawyers Are Screaming

The Gormogons Posted on February 28, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

So Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D-NY) must be doing something right. ‘Puter received the following missive from the New York State Bar Association president this afternoon. Please read it for yourself: Dear [‘Puter], Esq.: I am writing to urge that you … Continue reading →

Posted in Evil, Lawyers

Processing!

The Gormogons Posted on February 28, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Big Hollywood has a nice bit up about the Mandarin’s favorite movie: Forbidden Planet, and what it teaches about Progressivism. Thought we would post this before Mandy did. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ … Continue reading →

Posted in Movies, Progressives, This movie really sucks

Quantitative Dis-Easing

The Gormogons Posted on February 27, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

The Czar walked into the second floor men’s room at the Castle this morning and found ‘Puter sitting on the cold tile floor, in his underwear, staring at the floor drain while clutching a roll of Brawny paper towels in … Continue reading →

Posted in Economic policy, Economics, Gasoline Prices, Inflation, U.S. Economy

Bipolar Shifting

The Gormogons Posted on February 26, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Now hold on a minute. I thought there was evidence that when the poles switch, the field is “disorganized” or non-existent for some period of time. Not to take issue with your overall point, but rather to ask you to … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Drugs, EARTHQUAAAKE, Mad science, Medicine, Phoney Science, Science

Reminder: Twitter!

The Gormogons Posted on February 26, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Don’t forget, friends, to follow us on Twitter! It’s free. And easy. Remember: If all you do is read us here, you’re missing out on half the jokes. Or at least, most of the jokes that are 140 characters or … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogons, Twitter

Wisconsin Democrat Not Sure How Bill Becomes Law

The Gormogons Posted on February 25, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Wisconsin State Assemblyman Peter Barca, Democrat, is quoted by CBS News (without any sense of irony or correction) as saying that state Republicans “trampled on democracy though throughout the day and really throughout this past week.” What happened was the … Continue reading →

Posted in Democracy, Democrats, Wisconsin

Where Do They Get This Stuff?

The Gormogons Posted on February 25, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Oh brother. Okay, for those of you wondering, no: the earth’s magnetic field is not going to shut off, ending life on earth as it is bathed in violent solar radiation. This nonsense is starting to go around the internet. … Continue reading →

Posted in Science

Cuomo, the Bishop, & Ed Peters

The Gormogons Posted on February 25, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Those of you who follow our occasional excurses into the farther reams of Catholic inside baseball probably enjoyed ’Puter’s cri de coeur against canon lawyer Ed Peters’ complaint that New York governor Andrew Cuomo is admitted to Communion by his … Continue reading →

Posted in Concubinage, New York, Unam sanctam catholicam apostolicam ecclesiam

Ideological Warfare*

The Gormogons Posted on February 24, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

Public sector unions generally, and the Wisconsin teachers’ union specifically, have lost the first battle in the emerging war over taxpayer funded salaries and benefits. Despite the unions’ misplaced yet fervent belief, the public was not swayed to their side … Continue reading →

Posted in Rant, Teacher Unions, Unions, Wisconsin

D—n f—g right it is.

The Gormogons Posted on February 24, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

As Congress begins to take up the Obama administration’s defense budget, one item not even under discussion needs to be considered. Events of the past 18 months have made clear that it’s time to rethink the fate of the F-22 … Continue reading →

Posted in Defense spending, Department of Defense, F-22, F-35, USAF

Emphasis Added

The Gormogons Posted on February 23, 2011 by GorTApril 7, 2014

A few distant friends on Facebook were referencing the Catholic teachings regarding “social justice” with regards to unions.  It started with a pointer to this piece by the Archbishop of Milwaukee: Most Reverend Jerome E. Listecki, archbishop of Milwaukee and … Continue reading →

Posted in Roman Catholics, Unions

The UN Knows How To Fix Everything

The Gormogons Posted on February 23, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Well, bully for the United Nations. Upon learning that the Qaḏḏāfī (the Czar is beyond trying to transliterate his name) government was mowing down its civilians, they sat right down and wrote an angry letter to the editor. They will … Continue reading →

Posted in Fallacy of Foreign-Political Egocentrism, Libya, United Nations

Catholic Foolishness

The Gormogons Posted on February 23, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

Today’s New York Times breathlessly reports that: Edward N. Peters, a professor at Sacred Heart Major Seminary in Detroit, who last year was named by Pope Benedict XVI as a consultant to the Vatican court, the Apostolic Signatura, called the … Continue reading →

Posted in New York, New York Times - NYT, Roman Catholics, Stupid People

Background on public-sector unions

The Gormogons Posted on February 23, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

There’s a very good set of articles on the front page of the City Journal website. Check ’em out. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Teacher Unions, Unions

Happy To Oblige

The Gormogons Posted on February 22, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

‘Puter thinks that the United States Marine Corps scout-snipers should take up Moammar Gadhafi on his declared wish to “die a martyr” in his country. ‘Puter is fairly certain that a Marine scout-sniper team anywhere within a full mile of … Continue reading →

Posted in Evil, Libya

Dr. J. on Doctor’s Notes

The Gormogons Posted on February 22, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Dread & Awful Czar, If a picture is worth a thousand words, than this video link is worth a short story. We have been seeing in the news that there are doctors taking the streets in Madison (home of the … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Medicine

Gov. Walkers Obeys the Gormogons (Naturally)

The Gormogons Posted on February 22, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Back in July, 2009, the Czar lectured on how to eliminate unions. Basically, it consisted of four steps: Encourage investment in new industry that has not been unionized. All right, Wisconsin (led by Gov. Scott Walker) has done this by … Continue reading →

Posted in Unions

‘Puter Points The Cannon At You, Libs

The Gormogons Posted on February 22, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

‘Puter has several liberal friends who have spent the last couple of weeks berating ‘Puter for the House Republicans’ proposed cuts to, among other things, Planned Parenthood and LIHEAP. ‘Puter’s friends are outraged — outraged! — that ‘Puter could be … Continue reading →

Posted in Dirty Liberals

Spending Per Pupil

The Gormogons Posted on February 22, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Volgi alerts all of us to an assessment of how US education spending compares to other countries’ spending per student, and where our performance falls. And falls is a generous word. If this doesn’t destroy every teacher’s union argument about … Continue reading →

Posted in Education, Teacher Unions, Teachers, Teaching

They Might Have Known Better

The Gormogons Posted on February 22, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Common sense requires a balance. The Mandarin and the Czar were speaking this morning about the disturbing story of four American missionaries executed by Somali pirates during a counterattack by the Navy. We are, naturally, angered by the story and … Continue reading →

Posted in Navigation skills, Piracy, Pirates, U.S. Navy

Hey Buddy, This Ain’t A Library

The Gormogons Posted on February 21, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

You know what television commercial annoys the Czar a little bit? The State Farm commercial, in which a woman buys a newspaper. The proprietor jumps up and says “Excuse me—your change.” Cut to the Non-Threatening Hispanic Male standing in front … Continue reading →

Posted in Advertising, Television

The End of the Beginning?*

The Gormogons Posted on February 21, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

Gormogon Operative JS sent a coded message to ‘Puter utilizing as a cipher the number of purely gratuitious shots of Teri Hatcher’s rack on Desperate Housewives. JS writes: Have you chimed in yet about Unions and Wisconsin? I would’ve thought … Continue reading →

Posted in New York Times - NYT, Paul Krugman, Stupid People, Stupid Politicians, Teacher Unions, Unions

Skool is Kool….

The Gormogons Posted on February 21, 2011 by The MandarinApril 7, 2014

In a follow up to the Czar’s recent post on home schooling your Mandarin would like to add to that neither home schooling or institutionalized schooling are the ultimate answer to educating our children. In reality it is a combination … Continue reading →

Posted in Department of Homeland Security, Education, Teacher Unions, Teachers, Teaching

Wisconsin: Long-Term Consequences

The Gormogons Posted on February 20, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Paul A. Rahe over at Ricochet has a fantastic analysis of the Wisconsin situation, including step-by-step proofs for the following two claims: 1. The Gov. Scott Walker can only continue to look better the longer this goes on. 2. Ultimately, … Continue reading →

Posted in Badgers, Barack Obama, Unions

Home Schooling Costs and Benefits: Who’s Right?

The Gormogons Posted on February 20, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

DEAR CZAR, OH HOW I CARE FOR YOU, What do you think of the proposed legislation that Illinois home-schooled students be registered with the state? Prima facie, it looks reasonable. I know that, in other states, they must meet certain … Continue reading →

Posted in Education, Illinois, Schools, Teachers, Teaching

Wisconsin Says Enough!

The Gormogons Posted on February 20, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Look at the size of the crowd in Madison. Here is the great news: this is the pro-Walker crowd, counter-protesting the union thugs who have swamped the state building. Think this crowd is bigger? Looks like. And sure hope so. … Continue reading →

Posted in Teacher Unions, Unions, Wisconsin

But What Does Your Wisconsin Resident Think?

The Gormogons Posted on February 19, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

The worst part of this account is that nothing in it really surprises the Czar. Basically, this report confirms your suspicion that the protestors in Madison are hired thugs intent on causing real problems. The tea party plans to rally … Continue reading →

Posted in Government spending, Teacher Unions, Unions, Wisconsin

Mailbag!

The Gormogons Posted on February 18, 2011 by GorTApril 7, 2014

Operative GD writes in from somewhere that favors a lot of IT service processes regarding this post: Sadly, you have managed to touch on one of the few subjects I actually know a bit about.  Root cause analysis.  See, to … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag

Now We Know The Truth

The Gormogons Posted on February 18, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Two seemingly unrelated events reveal much about the state of the union. The real state of the union, that is, and not the light rail and unicorn fart speech President Obama gave exactly one hundred years ago, back before Egypt. … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Government, Democrats, Government spending, U.S. Economy

Re: Root Cause Analysis

The Gormogons Posted on February 18, 2011 by GorTApril 7, 2014

And now the root cause leader speaks.  Failed to do her job.  Period. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. … Continue reading →

Posted in Congress, Democrats

JAB: Why Madison is Not Like Cairo

The Gormogons Posted on February 18, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Your Czarness: Might I humbly suggest that your lute-fish-eating neighbors-to-the-north-of-Muscovy, well, they might be in need of a word of encouragement, seein` as how the duly elected Democratic members of their State Senate done up and run. And they run…south…oddly … Continue reading →

Posted in Democrats, Wisconsin

Is It a Crisis

The Gormogons Posted on February 18, 2011 by GorTApril 7, 2014

Recent conversations with some liberals I know included the popular lament that the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer.  While there is a debate over what is really “poor” in the United States, they point at … Continue reading →

Posted in Taxes, Wealth Redistribution

BREAK THEM!

The Gormogons Posted on February 18, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

BREAK THEM! Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Teacher Unions, Wisconsin

Root Cause Analysis

The Gormogons Posted on February 18, 2011 by GorTApril 7, 2014

So here’s the new meme in the news that you’ll start seeing in a few hours at the 10 or 11 o’clock news and going forward for a few days at a minimum:  the Evil Republicans are going to shut … Continue reading →

Posted in Congress, Democrats

Friends Like These

The Gormogons Posted on February 17, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

The potential for radical Islamic ascendency in allied nations in the Middle East given the current protests and chaos goes without saying. The events in Egypt are more reminiscent of 1979 than 1989 despite the mainstream media’s ignorant reporting, especially … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Foreign Policy, Israel, Obama Administration, Rotasubteriation

GD Provides Proof

The Gormogons Posted on February 17, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

GD, master of all he surveys (which includes a good portion of the front yard) sends this via Aldis lamp: Oh wise and ever-merciful Czar, please do not visit a plague upon my house for writing. Your liberal video game … Continue reading →

Posted in Liberals, Mailbag, Video games

Prof. Mondo With A Great Insight

The Gormogons Posted on February 17, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Professor Mondo says something in a few words that the Czar needs paragraphs to hint at in an essay on why intellectual types get hit hard by reality. Great point: It seems that another aspect of being an intellectual is … Continue reading →

Posted in Intellectuals

Why Videogames Lean Conservative

The Gormogons Posted on February 17, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Volgi, The Czar is not terribly surprised by your mentioning that most popular video games have a conservative theme underlying it. The Czar would indeed nominate the entire Halo franchise under this aegis. (The Czar knows that some liberal goofs … Continue reading →

Posted in Conservatism, Liberals, Video games

Dear Previous Owner…You, Sir, Are A Moron

The Gormogons Posted on February 17, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Dear Previous Owner of The Czar’s Royal Dacha, Whatever it is you are doing right now, stop it. Just stop. You are an idiot and have no idea what you are doing. To be fair, the Czar has prepared a … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal Space, Stupid People, Stupidity, The Czar of Muscovy

Re: He-Man Woman Haters

The Gormogons Posted on February 17, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

‘Puter had thought to post concerning the cowardly and brutal sexual assault on CBS News reporter Lara Logan, but chickened out. Then Czar, as is his wont, rushed in where angels fear to tread, posting a thoughtful and reasoned analysis … Continue reading →

Posted in Egypt, Sexual Predators, War crimes

Or, reality-modeling sims…

The Gormogons Posted on February 17, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

…show how reality works. You make the call. In fact, all of the video games I play tend to have a decidedly anti-liberal tilt. From the seemingly innocuous Sims to more obviously hawkish games like Call of Duty, many video … Continue reading →

Posted in Keepin’ It Real, Liberals, Video games

Misogyny and Machismo

The Gormogons Posted on February 16, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

JS enclosed this into a wine bottle UPC bar code using his stegographic skills. Dear the The Czar, Have you seen the news articles about the poor female reporter who was assaulted during the celebrations in Cairo? I was reading … Continue reading →

Posted in Egypt, Journalism, Mailbag, Main Stream Media, Media

The Doctor Is In

The Gormogons Posted on February 16, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

Royal Surgeon Dr. J. weighs in from the dispensary with his budget plans. The good Doctor recommends, in addition to a daily regimen of coffee colonics, the following: Dr. J. knows that he’s not a Gormogon, but as Royal Surgeon, … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Federal Budget, Gormogonica

Budgetary Philosophy

The Gormogons Posted on February 16, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

All this discussion about budgeting got ‘Puter to thinking about all the implicit assumptions that go into spending other people’s money (i.e., tax revenue). ‘Puter believes that Americans need not accept the current paradigm, as it is designed to inexorably … Continue reading →

Posted in Federal Budget, Stupid Politicians

FY 2012: Borepatch Writes In

The Gormogons Posted on February 16, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Brilliant non-boulevardier Borepatch caught up with the Czar at the Castle lounge where he ordered (and apparently enjoyed) a drink called the Bourbon Scorpion. He talked a bit about the new budget, and scribbled some notes down on a cocktail … Continue reading →

Posted in Federal Budget, Mailbag

2001 Anthrax Attacks: We Still Don’t Know

The Gormogons Posted on February 16, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Of course, you all remember the terrible anthrax scare that hit the United States in late 2001. Like most Americans, you might be asking “Yeah, whatever happened with that? Didn’t they catch the guy?” Actually, no, they didn’t. Alas, the … Continue reading →

Posted in Anthrax (not the group), Science

Who Really Lost Vietnam

The Gormogons Posted on February 15, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Dennis Prager as an outstanding editorial on who really lost Việt Nam for the Vietnamese. He suggests the Communists did, and his rationale is correct. But he takes his argument an interesting step further and compares how the American left … Continue reading →

Posted in Vietnam

Re: FY 2012 Budget

The Gormogons Posted on February 15, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Herr ‘Puterkrank writes: JS asks ‘Puter (and the other Gormogons—hint, hint) to opine as to what budget cuts he recommends. The Czar has no idea what budget cuts JS recommends. But the Czar will comment on his own royal thoughts. … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Government, Federal Budget, Waste and Fraud

FY 2012 Budget, Continued

The Gormogons Posted on February 15, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

Gormogon Operative JS sends a missive from Guadalajara tattooed on the back of an MS-13 underling. JS asks ‘Puter (and the other Gormogons — hint, hint) to opine as to what budget cuts he recommends. Here goes. First, let’s all … Continue reading →

Posted in Federal Budget, Taxes

Two Bit Thoughts on Barbers

The Gormogons Posted on February 15, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Bob Ewing has a piece up at BigGovernment.com promoting an organization called the Institute for Justice. Within it, he tells a horrible tale about an Oregon barber named Dale Smith, who had his barbershop closed down by the local government … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Government

No, Not A New Planet

The Gormogons Posted on February 14, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Journalists, in an effort to infuriate the Czar ever more with incredible laziness, are playing a telephone game with a story about a planet way, way, way out around the Sun larger than Jupiter and quietly circling our sun. Not … Continue reading →

Posted in Astronomy, Christian Science Monitor, Journalism, Media, Phoney Science, Stupid People

When Children (Or Their Toys) Talk Back…

The Gormogons Posted on February 14, 2011 by The MandarinApril 7, 2014

Now your Mandarin has been known to at times use “salty” language when describing modern progressivism, valet car parkers, and circus folk. But that still didn’t steel me for the shock of the toy that your Mandarin’s wife gave to … Continue reading →

Posted in Cursing, Foul Language, Thomas the Train, Toys, Trains

Some Security Perhaps Could Be Cut

The Gormogons Posted on February 14, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Secretary of State Clinton says that the Republican budget would hurt national security. Maybe. But you know what also hurts national security? How about an intelligence director that thinks the Muslim Brotherhood is a secular institution that has rejected violence? … Continue reading →

Posted in Hillary Clinton, National Security

FY 2012 Budget: Jesus Wept

The Gormogons Posted on February 14, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

President Obama proposed his 2012 budget today. The New York Times predictably gushes in a so-called “news” story about the proposal’s “cut and invest” strategy. Meanwhile, House Republicans bravely proposed cutting nearly $100 billion out of the remaining budget for … Continue reading →

Posted in Stupid People, Stupid Politicians

The Band Kicks It

The Gormogons Posted on February 14, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Maybe you done seen this. Maybe you not. University of Hawaii’s Rainbow Warriors marching band decided last December to mix things up a little. This is something that the vast and powerful computational systems of the Mandarin could choreograph. Of … Continue reading →

Posted in Sports, This sport really sucks

Pffft. Well…Okay.

The Gormogons Posted on February 14, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

So Pamela Anderson “told FOX411′s Pop Tarts in an exclusive interview before she hosted Bacardi & Willis & Woy Sports Group Dallas Superbash on Friday night” that America’s kids today would be more prone to resist the temptation of illegal … Continue reading →

Posted in Hollywood, Immigration

Thus Spake ‘Puter, Jr.

The Gormogons Posted on February 14, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

‘Puter made braised pork ribs this weekend, which involved as a first step searing the ribs on the Castle’s 32 burner fusion powered grill. It was a present from GorT. ‘Puter was seasoning the ribs with Montreal Steak Seasoning in … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter Jr., Gormogonica

What Say You, Europhiles?

The Gormogons Posted on February 13, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Apparently, 57% of Swiss voters say no to gun control. Don’t expect to see this news story make the newspapers around the US, do ya? The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. … Continue reading →

Posted in Euro-Elitist Academics, Gun control, Guns

Skeptical Takedown 2

The Gormogons Posted on February 13, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Have you heard about omigod the most totally awesum proof of UFOs ever? You know, that whole UFO thing that happened over the Dome of the Rock in Israelistine? That millions of people saw and now there is no denying … Continue reading →

Posted in Israel, Skepticism, UFOs

Skeptical Takedown 1

The Gormogons Posted on February 13, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

The Czar suspects that this story is getting some ground because it is a conservative vs. liberal issue. Let us hope not. Dr. Carole Lieberman, a self-proclaimed “media psychiatrist” (uh oh) declared to Fox News that recent increases in rapes … Continue reading →

Posted in Intellectuals, Skepticism, Video games

Condit: Not Guilty

The Gormogons Posted on February 12, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Ingmar Guandique, the MS-13 gang banger who brutally killed Chandra Levy back in 2001, was sentenced to 60 years by a DC superior court today. Read through the news stories about this. Here’s one, for example. Note the passing reference … Continue reading →

Posted in Main Stream Media, Media

Protests in Yemen, Algeria

The Gormogons Posted on February 12, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

As expected, protests flared up in Yemen; however, the Czar was mildly surprised to see Algerians turned out by the thousands so soon after Egypt’s success. And no doubt while the media tries to spin this as a great thing, … Continue reading →

Posted in Algeria, Yemen

I Loathe New York, Part Deux

The Gormogons Posted on February 11, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

Avid Gormogon readers know ‘Puter lives somewhere in the frozen tundra known as Upstate New York. Readers also know it takes a special kind of person to live Upstate. One who overlooks the little things, like crumbling infrastructure, sky high … Continue reading →

Posted in Stupid Politicians, Upstate

I Loathe New York

The Gormogons Posted on February 11, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

New York is going for it! No longer content to be a meager number 2 in the rankings for states with the worst tax burden, we’re kicking it up a notch! New York is now taxing all of the income … Continue reading →

Posted in Stupid Politicians, Taxes

JAB: How To Talk Democracy

The Gormogons Posted on February 11, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Your Czarness: While your good buddy Hosni enjoys a little rest and recuperation in Sharm el-Shaik, I thought it might be a good time for Those-Who- Dwell- in-Castle -Gormogon to use their manifest powers to tidy up a few loose … Continue reading →

Posted in Declaration of Independence, Department of State, Egypt, Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden

All The News That’s Printed To Fit

The Gormogons Posted on February 11, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

You know how we often say that the major media will write stories to fit a pre-decided template and if the news does not fit that template, they will change it until it does? You will recall Tunisia overthrew their … Continue reading →

Posted in Egypt, Husnī Mubārak, Journalism, Main Stream Media, Media, Media Bias

Hosni gone…

The Gormogons Posted on February 11, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

…Khamene’î worried? Via Michael Rubin @ the Corner. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Egypt, Freedom, Iran

Dr. J says: Take one article and call me in the morning.

The Gormogons Posted on February 11, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

In Dr. J’s  previous rant, he waxed poetically with regard to President Reagan’s foreign policy, probably because as a youth Dr. J was more concerned about living under the Red Flag than the havoc wreaked on our economy President Carter … Continue reading →

Posted in Economic policy, Economics, Free Market Economy, Ronald Reagan

Mubārak Writes In…

The Gormogons Posted on February 11, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

The Czar received this letter from Egyptian landmark Ḥusnī Mubārak. Evidently, the Czar was to have released this to the world media or something, but was under the weather and forgot. Instead of that, we will simply post it here … Continue reading →

Posted in Egypt, Husnī Mubārak

Too Much Litotes

The Gormogons Posted on February 10, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

People in politics don’t think or even speak like normal humans. Today, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) questioned CBO director Douglas Elmendorf on whether Obamacare will create jobs. Ryan: But if I recall from your analysis, it was quite the opposite. … Continue reading →

Posted in Speech

Reply Hazy. Try Again.

The Gormogons Posted on February 10, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

What an unusually honest and balanced piece of editorial writing. CNN, of all folks, has an opinion piece on its website by Ed Rollins, a GOP strategist, on whether President Obama can be beaten in 2012. You can read it … Continue reading →

Posted in Election, Republicans

TV time

The Gormogons Posted on February 9, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

What’s on tonight? This is on tonight. Get it on. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in This TV show really sucks

Progressive Math

The Gormogons Posted on February 9, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

DT takes a moment to spike this through our Hollywood-created token ring firewall: Oh Divine Ruler of the Land, the Skies, the Seas, and Some Castle None of Us Have Ever Seen, Except Perhaps Dr. J. in a Drunken Vision, … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag, Progressives

NOW SPEAKETH THE IMAM! HEARKEN HEREUNTO!

The Gormogons Posted on February 9, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

FROM HIS UNVERIFIED TWITTER ACCOUNT PROCLAIMETH THE KILMER: America all the way! Caddies have moved elegantly into the 21st century; rocky road is over! It’s fat smooth sailing now! This is a glory! VERILY HE IS OUR HUCKLEBERRY! Confucius, Œc. … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Val Kilmer the Thirteenth Imam

The Caps Busting in Air

The Gormogons Posted on February 8, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

BG writes in after a brief absence: Dread and Awful Czar – You write, “The pop star hyper-coloratura version is the worst way to do it. “ I must beg to differ. It is the worst way that it has … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag

The Governance We Deserve

The Gormogons Posted on February 8, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

With apologies to President Lincoln, ‘Puter thinks his Gettysburg Address could use a bit of updating: … that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom— and that government of the children, by the children, for the … Continue reading →

Posted in Gubbamint, Rant, Welfare

Dr. J Channels The King (Larry)

The Gormogons Posted on February 8, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Dread and Awful Czar, Dr. J. has been battling an outbreak of Yeti flu in New Atlantis. We finally have them buggers under control and it’s time to return with some Gormotastic commentary. So pour some oil on Dr. J’s … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J.

Mailcall!

The Gormogons Posted on February 8, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

The messages have been piling up around here. If you noticed during the Super Bowl game the weird flashing lights during the Black Eyed Peas show, you probably noticed they tapped out a Morse Code message using the Syriac alphabet. … Continue reading →

Posted in Mailbag

Superbowl coverage continued

The Gormogons Posted on February 8, 2011 by GorTApril 7, 2014

Yes, the party at the Castle was pretty good…at least until the Volgi started chugging the queso by the tankard-full.  We all have our opinions about last night so let me share a few: First, during my college years, I … Continue reading →

Posted in Castle Gormogon, Superbowl

The Super Bowl of Anthems

The Gormogons Posted on February 7, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

The Super Bowl party at the Castle was pretty good. ‘Puter did a nice job cooking some brats on the grille (it is indeed one way to get rid of mouthy, spoiled kids), and everyone loved the Volkwagen commercial. Mandarin, … Continue reading →

Posted in Americans, Anti-American, Hollywood liberals

Best Super Bowl Commentary

The Gormogons Posted on February 7, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

From a friend’s Facebook status: Support your school music programs. Only then might we avert another tragedy on par with Super Bowl XLV’s Half-Time show. So true. 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to … Continue reading →

Posted in NFL

If A Hitter Produces Hits, Then A Twitter Produces…

The Gormogons Posted on February 6, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Hey, if you’re not following us on Twitter, you’re missing out on half the fun! Well, maybe not half. Perhaps an eighth. Anyway, it costs you zip and has all sorts of lunacy you don’t find here. Go ahead. Click … Continue reading →

Posted in Club Gormogon, This tweet really sucks, Twitter

Ah, Simpler Times

The Gormogons Posted on February 6, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of … Continue reading →

Posted in This movie really sucks

Seemed Even Faster

The Gormogons Posted on February 6, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

For the fifteen of you who escaped the blizzard of 2011, here is a taste of what we had around Chicago. Start watching around 30 seconds in to get the full effect. Someone tell Borepatch his old house is under … Continue reading →

Posted in Chicago, Snow

The Origin of Palin-Hatred

The Gormogons Posted on February 6, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

MH, one of our growing entourage of Canadian readers, uses his maple powers to analyze the American liberal scene. In particular, he takes a good look at their hatred of Sarah Palin, and by God, the Czar thinks he is … Continue reading →

Posted in Leftism, Liberals, Pop Psychology, Psychology, Sarah Palin

Empty Talk?

The Gormogons Posted on February 5, 2011 by GorTApril 7, 2014

Remember the State of the Union address last week? President Obama called for greater emphasis in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics) education. In a NYT article today (courtesy of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette), teachers voice their concerns with that effort … Continue reading →

Posted in Science Fairs

Perfidy?

The Gormogons Posted on February 5, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

If this is so, no other word leaps to mind. Not having read the cables in question, one doesn’t know if the British press is exaggerating, but if we actually traded UK national-security information to the Russians in exchange for … Continue reading →

Posted in Arms Control, Diplomacy, Evil, Nukes, Russia, The Obama Amateur Hour, United Kingdom

She Could Hurt Somebody Someday

The Gormogons Posted on February 4, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Ridiculous, this picture. The Czar cannot remind you readers enough: even if you know the weapon is unloaded, never put your finger in the trigger guard unless you are firing the weapon. This woman knows nothing about basic firearm safety. … Continue reading →

Posted in Girls With Guns, Guns

Kids and Science

The Gormogons Posted on February 4, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

The Czar loves stories like this. Three high school students discovered a radio pulsar in the constellation Ophiucus. Way to go! Above, the students receive official confirmation of their discovery. Hannah Mabry, center, hopes to become a radio astronomer and … Continue reading →

Posted in High School, Kids These Days, Science

Nepalese Superhero? Or What? UPDATED

The Gormogons Posted on February 4, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

There is a story going around the Internet about a 35-year-old retired Gorkha who singlehandedly took on anywhere from 10-40 armed thugs who were (a) attempting to rob a train and (b) attempting to rape a passenger on the train. … Continue reading →

Posted in India, Nepal

Mailbag: JAB Writes In About…Something

The Gormogons Posted on February 3, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Your Czarness: Might I offer a random observation concerning your first points in yesterday’s “News Roundup”? Now you might be sitting in your frozen castle up in Muscovy wondering what in tarnation Sarah Palin and Mohammed El-Baradei could possibly have … Continue reading →

Posted in Egypt, Journalism, Mailbag, Main Stream Media, Media, Media Bias, Sarah Palin

Domino Theory

The Gormogons Posted on February 3, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

As the situation worsens in Egypt, you continue to hear references to The Domino Theory. First Tunisia, now Egypt, and protests (or attempts at protests) are taking place in Jordan, Yemen, and Syria. The success of one protest emboldens the … Continue reading →

Posted in Cambodia, China, Dwight Eisenhower, Egypt, Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan, Indonesia, Laos, Lyndon Johnson, Syria, Thailand, Tunisia, Vietnam, Yemen

History of the anti-vaccine movement

The Gormogons Posted on February 3, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Very well reviewed by Dr. D, also at City Journal. The world’s children are, taken as a whole, the healthiest who have ever lived, in no small part thanks to immunization against the common infectious diseases of childhood that, not … Continue reading →

Posted in Anthony Daniels is Theodore Dalrymple, Jenny McCarthy, Vaccines

Vaccine-shunning Marin County hippies engender children’s whooping-cough surge

The Gormogons Posted on February 3, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Vaccines, which save millions of lives every year, are one of the most successful public-health interventions in the history of modern medicine. Among the diseases that they prevent is the whooping cough. Why, then, is that sickness making a scary … Continue reading →

Posted in Hippies…they say they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad, Jenny McCarthy, Vaccines

The Law Is A Ass

The Gormogons Posted on February 2, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

‘Puter, while rummaging through Czar’s filing cabinets looking for his hidden stash of Metamucil margaritas, came across this lawsuit filed on behalf of Czar. And here ‘Puter was wondering what happened to his piggy bank and 55 gallon drum of … Continue reading →

Posted in Dumb Laws, The Czar of Muscovy

(hr1$713 pwn$ 1££1n01$

The Gormogons Posted on February 1, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Ghettoputer’s sane alter ego just completely hammers Illinois. Now airing in radio markets around the state. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Chris Christie, Illinois, New Jersey, Taxes

News Roundup

The Gormogons Posted on February 1, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

And you might ask what the media has been fixated on, lately. Going through the day’s headlines, here is the schematic: Egyptians are protesting because they want to be like America. And Mohammed El-Baradei is the best candidate to lead … Continue reading →

Posted in Local News, Main Stream Media, Media, Media Bias

The Czar Hates Clowns, But…

The Gormogons Posted on February 1, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Eeesh. Even in 1949, this picture probably disturbed a lot of people. Bet the story on Teen-Age Punks was worth reading, too. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was … Continue reading →

Posted in Clowns

The (in)Efficiency of Electric Cars

The Gormogons Posted on February 1, 2011 by GorTApril 7, 2014

So our dear readers write in to a screaming Czar about mechanical efficiencies when they have access to a time traveling robot?!?! Go figure. Well, before I dive into it, I’ll let GorT, Sr. chime in: I believe [the Czar] … Continue reading →

Posted in Cars, Electricity, Math class is hard

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About Us

A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone. ایمام سیزدهم

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To contact your hosts and pledge your undying obedience, e-mail dr.j, gort, puter, theczar, themandarin or thenotoriousoev followed by the at sign, gormogons, then a ., and finally, com.

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