So here’s the new meme in the news that you’ll start seeing in a few hours at the 10 or 11 o’clock news and going forward for a few days at a minimum: the Evil Republicans are going to shut down the Federal Government. The counter to this from the right will be: the Stupid Democrats are going to shut down the Federal Government. So what’s one to believe. Clearly, you’re above the rest as you’ve turn to your Gormogons for the simple truth. Simple, you may ask? Yes. Ready?
The answer is that the incompetent Democrats from the 111th Congress (that’s the Congress whose session ended in December 2010) failed to do their Constitutionally mandated job to enact a federal budget. Let me repeat that: FAILED to do their CONSTITUTIONALLY MANDATED job.
Let’s walk through this: Article I, Section 9 states, “No Money shall be drawn from the Treasury, but in Consequence of Appropriations made by Law; and a regular Statement and Account of the Receipts and Expenditures of all public Money shall be published from time to time.” Current law (31 U.S.C. 1105(a)) requires the President to submit a budget no earlier than the first Monday in January, and no later than the first Monday in February. Typically, Presidents submit budgets on the first Monday in February. The next step is the drafting of a budget resolution. The United States House Committee on the Budget and the United States Senate Committee on the Budget are responsible for drafting budget resolutions. Following the traditional calendar, by early April both committees finalize their drafts and submit it to their respective floors for consideration and adoption. A budget resolution, which is one form of a concurrent resolution, binds Congress, but is not a law, and so does not require the President’s signature. No new spending authority, however, is provided until appropriation bills are enacted. Once both houses pass the resolution, selected Representatives and Senators negotiate a conference report to reconcile differences between the House and the Senate versions. The conference report, in order to become binding, must be approved by both the House and Senate.
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.