Yes, the party at the Castle was pretty good…at least until the Volgi started chugging the queso by the tankard-full. We all have our opinions about last night so let me share a few:
First, during my college years, I worked part-time for a top IT firm doing computer repair work at Coca-Cola headquarters in Atlanta. One day we got the call to pack up an office on the executive floor (hardwood floors, 12′ ceilings, beautiful furnishings – full suit required for service calls) and prepare it to move to the 4th floor of what was referred to as the “Tech” building (kind of dumpy with mundane looking offices). When my co-worker and I got to the office, we figured out pretty quickly what happened – all around the office was the advertising materials for “pop top” cans. The idea was that random cans would have rolled up money (or other prizes) that would “pop” out when the can was opened. In order to foil someone “pinging” the can listening for volume density differences, the company filled the cans with liquid paraffin. (I maybe be misremembering some of the details but close enough). Anyway, problems ensued with geniuses drinking the liquid paraffin and getting sick. End of campaign. Hence the move. Well, I think a couple ad execs are heading for the 4th floor of the Tech building after last night. Likely the ad firm that GroupOn used – probably should have thought that one out a bit more – particularly the Tibetan fish curry. I like GroupOn and I think it’s a brilliant concept so hopefully, this won’t have lasting damages. Pepsi went the way of somewhat sophomoric physical humor with some people alleging some racial stereotyping (I wouldn’t read that in, but the current atmosphere is such that it’s alleged). The Doritos finger licking one was just creepy. I think the overall winner has to be the Darth Vader Volkswagen commercial – simple, entertaining and cute. The runner up, for me, is the Eminem claymation of “Eminem Shut Up and Drink It Tea” – self parody that rings true. Here’s hoping for better ones next year.
It made me giggle a bit hearing the debacle that came from Dallas hosting the big game. 400 seats that, in essence, didn’t exist. Supposedly, the NFL is offering tickets to next year’s game and some money after seating them in a bar area of the stadium to watch it on TV. However, note that this TV feed is the live feed from the stadium and not the Fox broadcast, so no announcers, no commercials, no nifty computer-generated down and yardage overlays. A handful of people were hurt by falling ice from the stadium’s retractable roof. All in all, kind of a public relations disaster – one that will likely go down in the history books. However, mark my words, Dallas will host another Superbowl. The stadium’s capacity (even without the fire marshal’s 400 seat veto) is too great and too big of a revenue generator for the league to ignore.
Finally, I thought the production and delivery of the Declaration of Independence was simply awesome. Seeing NFL legends with a variety of organizations and people across the country (and world) was moving. Those are powerful words when delivered as those people did. Kudos to the NFL for that piece.
I have to get back to cleaning up the Castle – the Czar went nuts for the buffalo chicken dip and crosschecked Dat Ho into the bar when Dat tried to swipe the last bite of it. Seriously, you’ve seen the pictures of him screaming…those didn’t even come close.
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.