Journalists, in an effort to infuriate the Czar ever more with incredible laziness, are playing a telephone game with a story about a planet way, way, way out around the Sun larger than Jupiter and quietly circling our sun.

Not surprisingly, they got it wrong.

A particular trio of astronomers has been promoting this theory for many, many years. And with the WISE satellite finishing its mission to measure specific infrared traces of the entire night sky, there is a realization that—if there are any more planets way out past Neptune—the WISE data should probably show them to us.

In response, the trio of astronomers in question stated that, if their theory is true, the WISE data will prove it.

Within a short period of time, this has been translated to “Astronomers think they found a tenth planet bigger than Jupiter.”

No. Not quite. Maybe there is, but it ain’t likely. Anyway, once again, basic common sense eludes the world of journalism.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.