ŒV: EXCLUSIVE! TRUMP CAUGHT ON OPEN MIC!
Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com
Continue reading →Monthly Archives: September 2015
Pontificating on the Pontiff
I have to admit that this week has been inspiring. My Facebook feed hasn’t been filled with garbage – only positive stories and experiences. I’m sure between John Boehner’s resignation, more Clinton emails being released, and something that Trump did … Continue reading →
How to Inflate a Cat in 2 Easy Steps!
The Czar had this unsigned message hurled into the head of a Tcho-Tcho, as a brick carefully tied to a piece of paper. More curiously, the note was scrawled onto the brick; the paper was blank. Perhaps an atavistic envelope? … Continue reading →
20 Catholic Questions: ‘Puter Sits Down With Meghan McCain
As you may have heard, Pope Francis arrived in the United States yesterday for his first visit. The Pope will visit Washington, Philadelphia, and New York City during his stay. As most newscasters have little to no comprehension of any … Continue reading →
Dr. Carson Was Not In Error
Dr. Ben Carson was not wrong to say that a Muslim should not be put in charge of this nation. He was wrong to answer the question in the first place, since it was clearly a ploy by an increasingly … Continue reading →
Exoplanetology
Sciencey readers may have learned that giant exoplanet Beta Pictoris b has been photographed to unprecedented detail. Here is the picture of the world, about 63 light years away. Amazing. Anyway, thanks to the Gormogons’ proprietary super-advanced high-resolution image rendering … Continue reading →
Thoughts on the CNN Train wreck
Mr. and Mrs. GorT watched about two-thirds of the second Republican debate last night. We both found it amusing, insightful, and a bit of a train wreck. GorT jumped on Twitter for a while – and his secondary processing unit … Continue reading →
Debate Round Up To the Least Common Denominator
Hello, children. Hello. Your Mandarin watched the debates last night and as a long-standing Gormogons tradition, wanted to put down his thoughts as to what most of you saw for yourselves. Truly it was a painfully long debate, with insufficient … Continue reading →
Razor Sharp Thoughts
The understands that a lot of men think a beard is very manly. The Czar agrees, but reminds everyone that most manly thing is—whether you have a beard or not—knowing how to shave correctly. Operative SMR throws in some gravy … Continue reading →
Shaving Margins
The explosion (figurative speaking, relax) of cheap razor blade “clubs” is in response to something many adults have wondered about: why the hell are razor blades so expensive? Good heavens, they keep them locked up next to the good cognacs … Continue reading →
Socialism and Nuts
Dear Your Czarness: Please pardon a humble minion, but I wish to draw your attention to the media coverage of the “European Refugee Crisis,” which has risen to such a crescendo-of-crap (™ pending!) that I simply must disturb the serenity … Continue reading →
America Needs To Grow [The Heck] Up
What ‘Puter meant to say was, “America needs to grow the f*ck up.” We have become a nation of perpetual teenagers. We want all of the privileges of adulthood and none of the responsibilities. We have become a nation of … Continue reading →
Let’s Dust Off the Dust Up
Last week, the Czar took the position that the Kim Davis story, while interesting, featured some big mistakes by both sides. This prompted The One—no, not that One, the one in Nebraska—to write in. Dearest Czarczar, I agree with you … Continue reading →
A Labor of Love
The Czar is by no means finished with his summer, least of all does he contemplate putting away any of his extensive platoon of grilling equipment. However, the Czar has noticed that his collection of ideas for the platoon was … Continue reading →
Kentucky Wannabe Politicians Should Just Shut Up
As you have heard—because by God the media are all beside themselves on this—a county clerk in Kentucky named Kim Davis refused to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples (which is legal in Kentucky). She was jailed for contempt of … Continue reading →
Arguing with a Child
Anytime the Clintons get into hot water, they defend themselves like a teenager defending themselves when confronted by a parent. “No, Mom, I said that I was going to be at Kelly’s house. I just didn’t say where I was going … Continue reading →
Confiscation Theater and the Theater of Confiscation
It’s been about 25 years since Uncle Jay wrote in with a question or observation, and he makes up for it by providing both. And, better still, on one of our favorite subjects here at the Big G, firearms. Most … Continue reading →