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If Wishes Were Horses, Nobel Laureate Economists Would Ride

The Gormogons Posted on May 12, 2014 by 'PuterMay 12, 2014

Everyone’s favorite Nobel laureate economist Paul Krugman takes to the pages of the New York Times to announce the Left’s new position on global cooling global warming climate change. “Government has no choice but to regulate every sector of the … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter's Always Right, Climate Change, Global Warming, New York Times - NYT, Paul Krugman, Stupid People, Stupidity, Suck It Czar

New Yorkers Who Merrily Transgress Constitutional Rights: Idiot SAFE Act Supporters Edition

The Gormogons Posted on April 21, 2014 by 'PuterApril 21, 2014

The delightfully named executive director of New Yorkers Against Gun Violence, one Leah Gunn Barrett,* takes to the pages of today’s New York Times to display her ignorance of firearms, government and law, not necessarily in that order. Ms. Gunn … Continue reading →

Posted in Firearms, Gun control, Guns, Liberal Fascism, Liberal Idiots, Second Amendment, Stupid People, Stupidity, Suck It Czar, Uncategorized

Truman and Korea

The Gormogons Posted on February 5, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Island Dweller has some thoughts on the Czar’s mercurial rant on Korea: Most esteemed Czar A close examination of the photo of that poor man on that lonely Korean hilltop will disclose some deep slash wounds on the palm of … Continue reading →

Posted in Communism, Defense spending, Democrats, Harry Truman, Island Dweller, Korean War, Mailbag, Military, North Korea, South Korea, Stupidity

All These Stories Are True

The Gormogons Posted on January 17, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Left has lost it. This is not news, of course, but the evidence is now irrefutable. Any liberal that thinks—assuming that is possible—that their side has got their crap together would have a hard time explaining today’s headlines. This … Continue reading →

Posted in Insanity, Leftism, Stupid People, Stupidity

Keeping This Going

The Gormogons Posted on December 24, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Click to make bigger. As if you need to make an eight-foot-tall robot bigger. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, … Continue reading →

Posted in #pajamaboy, GorT, Merry Christmas, ObamaCare, Stupidity, The Obama Amateur Hour, Twitter

No Mellow Was Harshed

The Gormogons Posted on December 20, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

A certain retired Master Sergeant wants us to consider how bad things might be. Your Immenseness; At the risk of wearing out my welcome here, I’d like to point out something that my grandfather frequently reminded me to consider; A. … Continue reading →

Posted in Cuba, Mailbag, Michelle Obama, Stupidity, Terrorists, The Obama Amateur Hour

Narcissist… And Ignorant

The Gormogons Posted on December 17, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

President Obama, if there is any doubt even among his most ardent supporters, is a classic narcissist. So much so, an introductory college textbook could use him as its example. The extreme neuroses, the need for constant reassurance, the ability … Continue reading →

Posted in Cuba, Michelle Obama, Stupidity, Terrorists, The Obama Amateur Hour

Why Government Shouldn’t Run A Popsicle Stand: A Case Study

The Gormogons Posted on November 20, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

These are sugar beets. A pile of sugar beets looks almostlike a hot, steaming load of fresh horse manure. Similarly,USDA’s price support loan program for sugar beetfarmers is the indubitable equivalent of the aforementionedequine excrement. The Wall Street Journal ran … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter's Always Right, Farmers, Finance, Gubbamint, Stupidity, Suck It Czar, Waste and Fraud

‘Puter’s Always Right: Republican Beatdown Edition

The Gormogons Posted on October 17, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Yes, Tea Party. If only we’d elected RonPaul, none of this ever would’ve happened.It’s more true that Tea Party Glorious andIneffective Kamikaze Plan Number One wasa far more proximate cause to our recent drubbing than failure to elect RAWN PAWL! … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter's Always Right, Stupidity, Suck It Czar, Tea Party

Dumb Kids Rarely Become Smart Adults

The Gormogons Posted on October 13, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

A guest post today from Island Dweller, who does indeed dwell on an island. In perusing the news screeds this morning I came across the following. It is a rather lengthy article re: the poor educational showing, not of American … Continue reading →

Posted in Education, Guest Writer, Island Dweller, Stupidity

The Cost of Boots on the Ground

The Gormogons Posted on September 7, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The semper paratus Island Dweller puts charcoal to the cave wall to write in: Most August Majesty: There is a phrase being bandied about by both sides on the Syria issue, to wit: “Boots on the ground.” Everyone using this … Continue reading →

Posted in Foreign Policy, Island Dweller, Stupidity, Syria, The Obama Amateur Hour

Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics: ZOMG! AP Says 80% Of Americans Are Doomed To Poverty!

The Gormogons Posted on July 29, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Let’s wait while Mildred completesthe tabulation, norming the figuresto comport with AP’s expectations. ‘Puter awoke this morning to the mid-summer serenade of cicadas singing mingled with the strangled cries of MSNBC pundits bemoaning the inherent unfairness of our economic system. … Continue reading →

Posted in Associated Press, Liar Liar Pants on Fire, Liberal Idiots, Marriage, Media Bias, Polls, Poverty, Race, Stupid People, Stupidity, Wall Street

Liberalisms, A/K/A Stupid Things Liberals Say

The Gormogons Posted on July 23, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

There are no words adequate to describethe immorality, evil and stupidity inherentin this liberalism, brought to you by the shrill, humorless harpies at Code Pink. ‘Puter thinks it’s cute that liberals regurgitate demonstrably false talking points. ‘Puter thinks it’s even … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter's Always Right, In English Please, Liberal Idiots, Stupid People, Stupidity, Word of the Day

‘Puter’s Travel Guides: New York State Geography For Dummies

The Gormogons Posted on July 19, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Shamelessly stolen from Buzzfeed, here is all you need to know about New York State.  Please memorize these two simple lessons before coming to New York. Better, please memorize these two lessons before saying anything remotely related to New York … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Etruscan for Business Travellers, New York, NYC, Stupidity, Upstate

Teh Stoopid, It Hurts: Democrats and Student Loans Edition, Part 3.14

The Gormogons Posted on July 10, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

‘Puter and Czar frequently rail against government backed student loans, bitching loudly and lengthily at all who will listen. Czar posted about the issue three days ago, and ‘Puter presciently posted on student loans nearly three years ago, on December … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Government, College, Commercial Lending, Democrats, Finance, Financial Industry, Government Control, Massachusetts, Republicans, Stupid Politicians, Stupidity, Subprime Lending

Fixing the Student Loan Crisis in Zero Steps

The Gormogons Posted on July 7, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Imagine how things could work if the free market were to handle student loans. Sorry, Drew. The best interest rate you’re getting will be 18.7 percent. Maybe majoring in Klingon Literature at Case Western was a bad idea. Also, bringing … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter's Always Right, College, Finance, Financial Industry, Stupidity

NYT: Obama’s Presidency Is A Complete Failure. Quick! Blame Republicans!

The Gormogons Posted on May 2, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Maybe if the NYT made up a fake hate crimeto smear Republicans, they’d finally fall intoline. After all, it worked out so well for liberalfeminist blogger Meg Lanker-Simmons. Pityher poor husband, pictured, whose eyes seemto beg for death’s sweet release. … Continue reading →

Posted in Gun control, Immigration, Liberals, New York Times - NYT, Republicans, Stupid People, Stupidity

Senate Gun Control Beat Down: Cowardice In Action Or Cowardly Inaction?

The Gormogons Posted on April 18, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

The US Senate treated foolish, ill-consideredgun control legislation much as Eliot Ness treated Frank Nitti: both are currently waitingin the car. And good riddance. To hear those on the Left tell it, the Senate’s failure to pass gun control legislation yesterday … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Congress, Gun control, Liberal Fascism, Liberal Idiots, Main Stream Media, Second Amendment, Stupid People, Stupidity, United States Senate

More Umbridging

The Gormogons Posted on February 15, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Not to undo the entire crux of Dr. J’s rational polemic, in which he says that non-letter grades are indeed desirable for little ones, allow the Czar to quote himself: And certainly simpler systems work for K-3 because kids are … Continue reading →

Posted in Bad Bad Teacher, Dolores Umbridge, Education, Gormogon Infighting, Math class is hard, Stupidity, Teacher Unions, Unions

More Less Than Zero (Does That Even Work?)

The Gormogons Posted on February 10, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

O Mighty Czar, At risk of further inciting your wrath, I have an observation regarding the “standards-based scoring” post. This final Kuzniewski quote: The zero is the most damning of grades because it’s the lowest and has the most significant … Continue reading →

Posted in Borepatch, Education, Mailbag, Math class is hard, ScottO, Stupidity, Teacher Unions, Unions

Grade Zero

The Gormogons Posted on February 9, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Czar is on a full-tilt rage this morning, so look out. The Czar is wont to read local newspapers; as you know, he thinks the entire newspaper industry is a dying business model, but enjoys reading the wit and … Continue reading →

Posted in Czar-Related Firing Squads and Summary Executions, Education, Math class is hard, Stupid People, Stupidity

An Open Letter

The Gormogons Posted on February 3, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Dear Cub Scouts of America, A quick note about your most-famous annual event, the Pinewood Derby. It really needs to stop. As such, both the Царевич and Цесаревич will not be participating this year, even though they each came up … Continue reading →

Posted in Boy Scouts of America, Stupidity

Why Liberals Should Care About Gun Rights

The Gormogons Posted on January 18, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Every liberal who thinks her opinionon the Second Amendment should control‘Puter’s rights should imagine this guydeciding what her Constitutional rightsshould be, and behave accordingly. In recent days many of ‘Puter’s leftist friends have taken to Facebook, crowing about how fantastic … Continue reading →

Posted in Abortion, Freedom, Gun control, Gun Ownership, Guns, Liberal Fascism, Liberal Idiots, Stupid People, Stupid Politicians, Stupidity, Voting, Women

Democrats Screw The Little Guy. Again.

The Gormogons Posted on January 11, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Elizabeth Warren was originally slatedto head the CFPB. This is the best picture‘Puter could find of her. It’s stunning how closely Sen. Warren resembles her ancestorChief Wahoo, noble mascot of MLB’s totallynot racist Cleveland Indians. Unless you’re in the financial … Continue reading →

Posted in Barney Frank, Chris Dodd, Democrats, Economics, Fannie Mae, Financial Crisis, Financial Industry, Freddie Mac, Gubbamint, Mortgage Lending, Stupid People, Stupidity

As Long As We’re Restricting Amendments

The Gormogons Posted on January 9, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Fair is fair. The media have declared the Second Amendment ineffective. We get it. But guns are only half the problem, right? Someone has to pull the trigger. So in the same spirit that the media are looking out for … Continue reading →

Posted in Firearms, Guns, Main Stream Media, Media, Media Bias, Multiple-Victim Public Shootings, Shooting, Stupid People, Stupidity

No, Verizon Is Not Listening To You Talk

The Gormogons Posted on December 7, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Borepatch put us onto this one, and it sounds like a bunch of hooey. According to something called (really) HotHardware.com, Verizon has developed a technology that, when put into a cable television receiver, can eavesdrop on your conversations while you … Continue reading →

Posted in Borepatch, Government Secrets, Journalism, Media, Stupidity, Technology, Television, way too much technology

What’s the Plan? Part Deux

The Gormogons Posted on November 30, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

In this earlier post, I raised some of the issues regarding this “fiscal cliff” that the country is facing and that leads most major new outlet’s coverage these days.  In this post, let me outline a few answers and issues … Continue reading →

Posted in Boomers Are To Blame, Federal Budget, Government spending, Math class is hard, Stupidity

A National Lottery? Are You That Stupid About Money?

The Gormogons Posted on November 29, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Thanks to our good graces here at Castle Gormogon, two winners of the almost $600 million dollar Powerball game are out there somewhere. And already this morning, the Czar’s jaws dropped to see not one but two (possibly three) media … Continue reading →

Posted in Government spending, Main Stream Media, Media, Stupid People, Stupidity

GOP Reform II: Reagan Isn’t Coming Back

The Gormogons Posted on November 17, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Part Two of Seven Click here for Part One: Introduction It is time Republicans started to realize Reagan was a rare event, and that we need to stop listening to the guys trying to bring him back.Ronald Reagan isn’t coming … Continue reading →

Posted in Conservatism, Democrats, Liberals, Republicans, Ronald Reagan, Stupid People, Stupid Politicians, Stupidity

Feedback in the Feedbag

The Gormogons Posted on November 5, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Thanks to everyone who read our explanation of political polling. In less than eight hours, it screamed to the top of our all-time most-popular features here at the Big G and got considerable attention from much bigger media outlets. That … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Democrats, Election, Mailbag, Math class is hard, Polls, Republicans, Stupidity, Voting

Why The Polls Are Screwy (Best to Ignore Them)

The Gormogons Posted on November 5, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Czar stopped looking at day-to-day polling on Friday, when it became clear that all of it had become complete nonsense. Normally at election time, the media polls favor the Democrats in big numbers in order to starve money from … Continue reading →

Posted in Democrats, Math class is hard, Polls, Republicans, Stupidity, Voting

Paranoia Will Destroy Ya: Picosecond Laser Spectroscopy

The Gormogons Posted on July 18, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Seen this story from Gizmodo that the TSA is rolling out a secret new scanner that can completely detail everything about you from 164 feet away??!!!Eleven+y one111?? Not coming soon to every airport or street corner you can think of. … Continue reading →

Posted in CIA, Department of Homeland Security, Intelligence Community, Mad science, Phoney Science, Science, Stupidity, Technology, Transportation

Much NATO About Nothing

The Gormogons Posted on May 21, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Good evening; I’m Cobb Webb, and this is April Schauers, with your local Chicago 9:00 news. Our lead story tonight is the NATO protests which brought terror to the streets of Chicago, as throngs of protestors battled Chicago police for … Continue reading →

Posted in Chicago, Idiot criminals, Leftism, Liberal Idiots, Local News, NATO, Stupid People, Stupidity, Useful Idiots

Obama’s Tragic Infatuation With Incompetents

The Gormogons Posted on May 19, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Look, Axelrod, no matter how much you plant headlines like The GOP’s sad infatuation with Rev. Jeremiah Wright, you’re never going to pin this racist lunatic on Republicans. Fact is, it wasn’t the Republicans who attended his church for 20 … Continue reading →

Posted in 2012 Election, Election, Stupid People, Stupid Politicians, Stupidity, The Obama Amateur Hour

NYT News Flash: OWS Complains About Stuff

The Gormogons Posted on March 12, 2012 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

File this under “s” for “shocking.” Or under “n” for “not at all shocking.” The New York Times finds it noteworthy and newsworthy to inform its ever-dwindling readership: (1) Occupy Wall Street is complaining and (2) The NYPD thought it … Continue reading →

Posted in Hippies…they say they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad, New York Times - NYT, NYC, Occupy Wall Street, Stupidity

Chicago: The City That Worsk

The Gormogons Posted on February 19, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Want more stupid? Chicago alderman George Cardenas, who by rights should be looking for a real job after the next election, has introduces a resolution to the City of Chicago to impose a fifteen-to-thirty-cents-per-ounce tax on soft drinks and energy … Continue reading →

Posted in Chicago, Progressives, Stupid Politicians, Stupidity

Another Way to Define Madness

The Gormogons Posted on February 14, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

God bless the EPA. In an age when Republican candidates are competing on how badly they will dismember the EPA, certain news stories sure do not help the cause. Take this story. In 2007, the EPA enacted a regulation that … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Environment, EPA, Stupidity

ABC News Favorite Color is Yellow

The Gormogons Posted on January 28, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

ABC News is terrified to report… deep breath… Romney Failed to Disclose Swiss Bank Account Income!!!!!!!11!!!$!!!ELEVENTY!!!! !!1 !! The horror, the horror. Allow the Czar to summarize this horrible, horrible story, paragraph by paragraph. You might want to cushion yourselves … Continue reading →

Posted in ABC News, Journalism, Main Stream Media, Media, Media Bias, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Republicans, Stupidity, Taxes

Even the CSM Screws Up

The Gormogons Posted on January 6, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

You know, there is one thing that differentiates the Czar more so than the other brilliant yahoos who write here. Oh, they certainly share the Czar’s hatred for it, but the Czar has a certain passion for it. That thing … Continue reading →

Posted in Christian Science Monitor, Journalism, Main Stream Media, Media, Stupidity

The Nerve!

The Gormogons Posted on December 18, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Guy lets his underage daughter start a blog and email account on Google. Under terms of the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act, Google immediately whacked her blog and email account until further notice. Like, say, when she turns 13 and … Continue reading →

Posted in Boo fucking hoo, Google, Stupid People, Stupidity

Unintended Consequences, Part MDCXLV

The Gormogons Posted on November 6, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

This is not really about liberals or conservatives, but about immaturity and living in a fantasy world. A handful of OWS protestors has established a rape free zone in Zuccotti Park, including a tent safe house that can provide shelter … Continue reading →

Posted in Occupy Wall Street, Stupid People, Stupidity, Unintended Consequences

Occupy’s Days Are Numbered. Here Are The Numbers.

The Gormogons Posted on November 3, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

There are two ways of looking at this Quinnipiac poll analysis (prepared we believe by Philip Klein of the Washington Examiner). The first is the obvious “Yeah, the less of a fat cat rich-ass robber baron bastard you are, the … Continue reading →

Posted in Occupy Wall Street, Stupidity

GLOBAL WARMING DENIURZ IZ TEH RONG!!1!el!eve!1!nty!!1!

The Gormogons Posted on October 25, 2011 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

In today’s Washington Post, columnist Eugene Robinson attempts to discredit those of us who are skeptical of the Left’s religiously raputrous embrace of The Holy Mother Church of Anthropogenic Global Warming. In his weak attempt, Mr. Robinson manages to increase … Continue reading →

Posted in Eugene Robinson, Global Warming, Phoney Science, Stupidity, Washington Post - WaPo

No, THIS Is The 99%

The Gormogons Posted on October 20, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Via the awesome Borepatch. Mr. Abbott, you may possibly receive a visit from the Mandarin. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in … Continue reading →

Posted in Animal Attacks, Stupid Mongorians, Stupid People, Stupidity

The President Could Not Be More Wrong On This

The Gormogons Posted on October 13, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Oh good. Obama is now backing the Occupy protestors. And the liberals all said George Bush was a clueless idiot. This move could not be more wrong, based on the fact that the core protestors can’t stand Obama: he is … Continue reading →

Posted in Occupy Wall Street, Stupid People, Stupid Politicians, Stupidity

She Has Had Enough

The Gormogons Posted on October 11, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Even saints have limits to their patience. The Царица, whom by now all of you know is a public school teacher in a very dicey suburb outside Chicago, has quietly and with much dignity absorbed the slings and arrows of … Continue reading →

Posted in Stupid People, Stupidity, Teacher Unions, Teachers, Teaching, Unions

Hey, Kim Delaney: STFU

The Gormogons Posted on September 24, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The Czar has perhaps mentioned that he detests Hollywood celebrities. Yes? Okay, so courtesy Brendan at Tyler Durden, who heaps out plenty of celebrity justice so the Czar doesn’t have to, comes a perfectly pathetic story. Just hate-filled. Actress Kim … Continue reading →

Posted in Hollywood, Hollywood liberals, Stupid People, Stupidity

A Wheelbarrow Full of Stupid from the NYT

The Gormogons Posted on May 25, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

The New York Times editorial board strikes another blow for market ignorance today in this editorial. Its premise is that in order to save the housing market, we have to destroy it. Sadly, this is an all too common attitude … Continue reading →

Posted in Economics, Gubbamint, Housing Crisis, New York Times - NYT, Stupidity

Hippies Behaving Badly

The Gormogons Posted on May 9, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

Here’s a little riddle for all of ‘Puter’s “progressive” friends. Q. How is the Peace Corps like the Catholic Church? A. Both have horribly mismanaged credible allegations of sexual assault and rape, covered them up for years, and blamed the … Continue reading →

Posted in Crime, Hippies…they say they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad, Progressives, Stupidity

Droll, Baby, Droll

The Gormogons Posted on March 31, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

The President has announced that the United States will reduce oil imports by 33% by 2020. How will he make up the balance? Not by drilling, no, no. He argues that oil companies have plenty of capacity onshore and offshore. … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Energy, Gasoline Prices, Obama Administration, Stupidity

Casey Does Not Have A Bully Problem

The Gormogons Posted on March 19, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Much ado is being made over this video. A 14-year-old Australian punk decided to pick on a reportedly pacifist 16-year-old kid simply because the latter was different and not thoroughly popular. The Czar maintains that pacifists simply are people who … Continue reading →

Posted in Australia, Stupidity, The Gormogonickal Seal of Approval®

Show ‘Em the Damn Receipt, Jerk

The Gormogons Posted on March 13, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

There is an entertaining read out there about a guy who buys a television at Wal-Mart, and refuses to show his receipt to the guy at the exit because local state law says he does not have to. The Czar … Continue reading →

Posted in Retailers, Stupid People, Stupidity, Walmart

FOIA + FOID = FUBAR

The Gormogons Posted on March 5, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Sometimes the Czar doesn’t even get a chance to become enraged. For example, the Czar found out recently that there was a movement afoot to release names of Illinois firearm identification holders to the public. Evidently, the Associated Press—for reasons … Continue reading →

Posted in Associated Press, Firearms, Gun control, Gun Ownership, Guns, Illinois, Stupid People, Stupidity, Unintended Consequences

Dear Previous Owner…You, Sir, Are A Moron

The Gormogons Posted on February 17, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Dear Previous Owner of The Czar’s Royal Dacha, Whatever it is you are doing right now, stop it. Just stop. You are an idiot and have no idea what you are doing. To be fair, the Czar has prepared a … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal Space, Stupid People, Stupidity, The Czar of Muscovy

Attn: Valued Customer

The Gormogons Posted on January 21, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

From: UBN Information Officer (fighterz—–0101@att.net)To: Mr. Czar MuscovyDate: January 21, 2011Subject: Attn: Valued CustomerWe write to bring to yournotice about your pendingpayment of 5.5 Million USD. Your pendingpayment is now confirmed by the UN and authorized for immediatewire transfer to … Continue reading →

Posted in Stupid People, Stupidity, The Czar of Muscovy

Liberal Genius

The Gormogons Posted on January 9, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

‘Puter’s liberal friends are at it again, blaming the Tucson massacre on conservatives. Specifically, Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann. Here’s the reasoned detailed analysis from ‘Puter’s friend, via Facebook: On my way out of this determined-to-destroy itself country–and I’m not … Continue reading →

Posted in Liberal Fascism, Stupidity

Constitutional Madness

The Gormogons Posted on January 7, 2011 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

Dnan Milbank has a perplexing column in today’s Washington Post. Mr. Milbank attacks Republicans not so much for reading the Constitution on the floor of the House, but for having the temerity to read only the currently operative portions of … Continue reading →

Posted in Stupidity, U.S. Constitution, Washington Post - WaPo

Message Received, But Not Understood…

The Gormogons Posted on December 7, 2010 by The MandarinApril 7, 2014

Last week a number of “celebrities” killed-off their digital selves on Twitter and Facebook as part of a fund raising drive for an HIV/AIDS relief organization that services Africa and India. The objective was to raise $1 million. Once the … Continue reading →

Posted in Africa, AIDS, Facebook, HIV/AIDS, Hollywood, Hollywood liberals, Stupid People, Stupidity, Twitter

Best Laid Plans

The Gormogons Posted on December 1, 2010 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

This is going to be a bit of a gripe. Now, you know, the Czar isn’t one to complain, but about fifteen minutes ago, his mouse stopped working. Just died, cold. So the Czar unplugged it, and plugged it back … Continue reading →

Posted in Computers, Stupidity

Hey, GorT…

The Gormogons Posted on November 28, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

…you’re supposed to put the kibosh on ideas like when the Mandarin says, “Let’s invest forty mil in a beachfront resort on Yŏnpyŏng-do.” ‘Club Yellow Sea,’ my 至聖 ass… Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, GorTechie's Time Travel Adventures, North Korea, South Korea, Stupidity

Other Illegal Aliens

The Gormogons Posted on October 25, 2010 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Where are the most woo-woo places in the US? You know, the place where you get all funky with crystal healing, spiritual chakras, and so on? Los Angeles, right? San Francisco? Seattle, maybe? The Czar will shock and delight. His … Continue reading →

Posted in Phoney Science, Science Fiction, Stupid People, Stupidity, UFOs

Rimshots, Please

The Gormogons Posted on October 13, 2010 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

The San Francisco Chronicle has this headline: “Judge Orders Military To Stop Discharging Gays.” Out of artillery, or what? This is why people only read headlines. A Pennsylvania school district that installed remote camera control software in student laptops in … Continue reading →

Posted in Stupidity

Obama’s New Losing…Streak?

The Gormogons Posted on October 11, 2010 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

A man, claiming he will be paid $1,000,000 for the stunt, streaked fully nude in front of President Obama. No, buddy, you got it exactly backward. It’s the emperor who has no clothes! The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Election, Nude Photos, Stupid People, Stupidity

Black Tea

The Gormogons Posted on July 15, 2010 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

‘Puter’s favorite columnist E.J. Dionne takes on the brewing Tea Party/NAACP dustup in his WaPo column today. Let’s discuss the vertigo inducing mental gymnastics present in this particular E.J. Dionne column, shall we? 1. Mr. Dionne claims a need to … Continue reading →

Posted in E.J. Dionne, Stupidity, Washington Post - WaPo

‘Puter’s Home With Colbert I. King

The Gormogons Posted on June 19, 2010 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

‘Puter did not end up in Saratoga this weekend after all. His back prevented him from sitting in the car for four hours. So, therefore, it’s another weekend of waking at 5:30 because he can’t sleep any longer between the … Continue reading →

Posted in Stupidity, Washington Post - WaPo

“I’d like to express my existential rage through interpretive dance.”

The Gormogons Posted on December 31, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.December 31, 2009

Confucius’s brother Li Bai writes: From the Washington Post today: After their release from Guantanamo, Shihri and Rubaish, both of whom trained and fought with al-Qaeda in Afghanistan, were sent to a Saudi rehabilitation program that uses dialogue and art … Continue reading →

Posted in Art, Stupidity, Terrorism

Re: The Czar Makes Another Prediction!

The Gormogons Posted on November 30, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.November 30, 2009

Hysteria? Nonsense. Don’t forget, Царь наш, that we’ve already scientifically documented that Global Warming causes a whole lotta stuff. Via Jonah Goldberg. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Global Warming, Stupidity

Gotcha

The Gormogons Posted on September 27, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovySeptember 27, 2009

Well, it took 31 years. Roman Polanski, wanted on an outstanding 1978 statutory rape charge, has consistently dodged American authorities by limiting his travel to countries that deny extradition to the US. He always insisted he was innocent—the 13 year … Continue reading →

Posted in Idiot criminals, Moron Criminals, Stupid People, Stupidity

The Paper’s media critic does fine work

The Gormogons Posted on September 10, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 10, 2009

Beck took the time to decipher the clues of the Hollywood conspiracy to turn America into a socialist regime. Glenn analyzed photos of Oliver Stone with Chavez on his arm. The two arrived in an armored gondola that Beck noticed … Continue reading →

Posted in Glenn Beck, Stupidity

Now I lay thee down to…

The Gormogons Posted on September 2, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 2, 2009

…well, not sleep… Hey, folks, I get the intention here—all activities in life can be holy—but, c’mon. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Stupidity, Unam sanctam catholicam apostolicam ecclesiam

RIP, F-22

The Gormogons Posted on July 22, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 22, 2009

Mike Goldfarb writes a great obituary. It’s not quite Marc Antony at Caesar’s funeral, but it’s worth your time, beginning: The final vote is 58 to 40. With that victory the Obama White House has eliminated the last major threat … Continue reading →

Posted in Defense spending, F-22, F-35, Stupidity, USAF

Not truthy

The Gormogons Posted on June 3, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.June 3, 2009

…a recent Ohio State University study found that a majority of conservatives polled believed [Stephen] Colbert the man was one of them. Oh, please. This is just another variant of the “science proves it: conservatives are idiots!” pseudo-studies that come … Continue reading →

Posted in Le Colbert, Stupidity

Greedy Lawyers + (Sexting + Suicide) = Bad Law

The Gormogons Posted on March 23, 2009 by 'PuterMarch 23, 2009

This is a truly sad story, but not a good reason to create new, unnecessary law. The Logan family’s only child — an 18 year old daughter Jessica — sent a nude photo of herself to her boyfriend’s cell phone. … Continue reading →

Posted in Dumb Laws, Jessica Logan, Lawyers, Sexting, Stupidity

A Bright Light in a Dim Room

The Gormogons Posted on February 4, 2009 by GorTFebruary 4, 2009

Sen (Dr.) Coburn (R-OK) is fighting the good fight. I caught up on my newspaper reading this morning and caught his excellent OpEd in the Wall Street Journal. Let me highlight a few of the salient points: less than 10% … Continue reading →

Posted in Pork filled Stimulus Bill, Stupidity, Tom Coburn

Article of the month

The Gormogons Posted on January 20, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.January 20, 2009

In short, Hertzberg is one of that legion of individuals for whom the contest between political ideologies seems to have become reduced to a competition over education levels and IQs. According to one gratifying myth recently circulating in the blogosphere, … Continue reading →

Posted in Elitism, Snobs, Stuff White People Like, Stupidity

Minchiatta! Stronzo! Cazzata! Infame! SILENZIO!

The Gormogons Posted on January 15, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.January 15, 2009

Jody Bottum writes: Cardinal Martino is the former representative of the Holy See to the United Nations, and he now heads the Vatican’s Council for Justice and Peace—from which perch he recently commented, to an interviewer at Il Sussidiario, about … Continue reading →

Posted in Gaza War, Israel, Jews, Roman Catholics, Stupidity, Unam sanctam catholicam apostolicam ecclesiam

People am stupid, Chapter 531

The Gormogons Posted on January 8, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.January 8, 2009

Via Buttle. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Schools, Stupidity

And now for something completely different

The Gormogons Posted on November 24, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.November 24, 2008

Why teenage boys are the dumbest form of life in the known universe, Part MMDCCCLXXVIII. Via With Leather. Where else? Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Basketball, Stupid People, Stupidity

It’s Official

The Gormogons Posted on September 10, 2008 by 'PuterSeptember 10, 2008

Politics am stupid. And, for a change, much of the stupidity is coming from the Democrats. In a gaffe that a fourth grader running for class president would’ve seen coming, the Obamessiah is quoted as saying “you can put lipstick … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, John McCain, Politics, Stupidity

Mulder is dead to me.

The Gormogons Posted on August 29, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 29, 2008

He cheated on Téa Leoni. What the hell?! That’s Hugh Grant/Divine Brown-level mystifying. And enraging. If I were married to Téa Leoni. I’d have a sex addiction, too. An addiction to sex with Téa Leoni. My god, she’s smart, funny, … Continue reading →

Posted in David Duchovny, Flying Blind, Stupidity, Téa Leoni

Great moments in physics

The Gormogons Posted on August 29, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 29, 2008

Perhaps these intrepid scientists can consult with those skateboarders to figure out why their brilliant experiments have come to naught. Via With Leather, America’s Idiots-Getting-Injured Leader®. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Dudez, Stupidity

Florida, cradle of Nobelists

The Gormogons Posted on August 26, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 26, 2008

Or not. “Say, guys, that Hurricane Fay has left a foot of standing water on the street! Let’s go tubing!” Meanwhile in an unnamed location, some skateboarders are still trying to use failure-analysis software to figure out what went wrong … Continue reading →

Posted in Dudez, Florida, Stupidity

Computers making us stupid?

The Gormogons Posted on August 15, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 15, 2008

h311 2 t3h y3aH!. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Computers, Stupidity

Warning: This Contains Warnings

The Gormogons Posted on July 12, 1998 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 12, 1998

A lot of people come up to the Czar and say “Czar, what on earth is wrong with us?” Actually, they say “you,” and not “us,” but we know allegory when we hear it. Of course, we can’t answer that … Continue reading →

Posted in Stupidity

Ways to Amuse Yourself At An Airport

The Gormogons Posted on August 13, 1996 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 13, 1996

Here’s some fun things you can do at an airport which will not only amuse you, but will also have the added topspin of getting you very urgently arrested. Anyway, these are pretty inexpensive, which is good, because you’ll likely … Continue reading →

Posted in Aviation, Stupidity

Ways You Can Be Goofy

The Gormogons Posted on October 15, 1993 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 15, 1993

One of the reason practical jokes are so popular is the intense anticipation. You watch your victim move closer and closer to the trap, or if it’s a setup, you watch them get dragged deeper and deeper into the prank. … Continue reading →

Posted in Stupidity

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A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone. ایمام سیزدهم

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To contact your hosts and pledge your undying obedience, e-mail dr.j, gort, puter, theczar, themandarin or thenotoriousoev followed by the at sign, gormogons, then a ., and finally, com.

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