Everyone’s favorite Nobel laureate economist Paul Krugman takes to the pages of the New York Times to announce the Left’s new position on global cooling global warming climate change. “Government has no choice but to regulate every sector of the … Continue reading →
The delightfully named executive director of New Yorkers Against Gun Violence, one Leah Gunn Barrett,* takes to the pages of today’s New York Times to display her ignorance of firearms, government and law, not necessarily in that order. Ms. Gunn … Continue reading →
Island Dweller has some thoughts on the Czar’s mercurial rant on Korea: Most esteemed Czar A close examination of the photo of that poor man on that lonely Korean hilltop will disclose some deep slash wounds on the palm of … Continue reading →
The Left has lost it. This is not news, of course, but the evidence is now irrefutable. Any liberal that thinks—assuming that is possible—that their side has got their crap together would have a hard time explaining today’s headlines. This … Continue reading →
Click to make bigger. As if you need to make an eight-foot-tall robot bigger. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, … Continue reading →
A certain retired Master Sergeant wants us to consider how bad things might be. Your Immenseness; At the risk of wearing out my welcome here, I’d like to point out something that my grandfather frequently reminded me to consider; A. … Continue reading →
President Obama, if there is any doubt even among his most ardent supporters, is a classic narcissist. So much so, an introductory college textbook could use him as its example. The extreme neuroses, the need for constant reassurance, the ability … Continue reading →
These are sugar beets. A pile of sugar beets looks almostlike a hot, steaming load of fresh horse manure. Similarly,USDA’s price support loan program for sugar beetfarmers is the indubitable equivalent of the aforementionedequine excrement. The Wall Street Journal ran … Continue reading →
Yes, Tea Party. If only we’d elected RonPaul, none of this ever would’ve happened.It’s more true that Tea Party Glorious andIneffective Kamikaze Plan Number One wasa far more proximate cause to our recent drubbing than failure to elect RAWN PAWL! … Continue reading →
A guest post today from Island Dweller, who does indeed dwell on an island. In perusing the news screeds this morning I came across the following. It is a rather lengthy article re: the poor educational showing, not of American … Continue reading →
The semper paratus Island Dweller puts charcoal to the cave wall to write in: Most August Majesty: There is a phrase being bandied about by both sides on the Syria issue, to wit: “Boots on the ground.” Everyone using this … Continue reading →
Let’s wait while Mildred completesthe tabulation, norming the figuresto comport with AP’s expectations. ‘Puter awoke this morning to the mid-summer serenade of cicadas singing mingled with the strangled cries of MSNBC pundits bemoaning the inherent unfairness of our economic system. … Continue reading →
There are no words adequate to describethe immorality, evil and stupidity inherentin this liberalism, brought to you by the shrill, humorless harpies at Code Pink. ‘Puter thinks it’s cute that liberals regurgitate demonstrably false talking points. ‘Puter thinks it’s even … Continue reading →
Shamelessly stolen from Buzzfeed, here is all you need to know about New York State. Please memorize these two simple lessons before coming to New York. Better, please memorize these two lessons before saying anything remotely related to New York … Continue reading →
‘Puter and Czar frequently rail against government backed student loans, bitching loudly and lengthily at all who will listen. Czar posted about the issue three days ago, and ‘Puter presciently posted on student loans nearly three years ago, on December … Continue reading →
Imagine how things could work if the free market were to handle student loans. Sorry, Drew. The best interest rate you’re getting will be 18.7 percent. Maybe majoring in Klingon Literature at Case Western was a bad idea. Also, bringing … Continue reading →
Maybe if the NYT made up a fake hate crimeto smear Republicans, they’d finally fall intoline. After all, it worked out so well for liberalfeminist blogger Meg Lanker-Simmons. Pityher poor husband, pictured, whose eyes seemto beg for death’s sweet release. … Continue reading →
The US Senate treated foolish, ill-consideredgun control legislation much as Eliot Ness treated Frank Nitti: both are currently waitingin the car. And good riddance. To hear those on the Left tell it, the Senate’s failure to pass gun control legislation yesterday … Continue reading →
Not to undo the entire crux of Dr. J’s rational polemic, in which he says that non-letter grades are indeed desirable for little ones, allow the Czar to quote himself: And certainly simpler systems work for K-3 because kids are … Continue reading →
O Mighty Czar, At risk of further inciting your wrath, I have an observation regarding the “standards-based scoring” post. This final Kuzniewski quote: The zero is the most damning of grades because it’s the lowest and has the most significant … Continue reading →
The Czar is on a full-tilt rage this morning, so look out. The Czar is wont to read local newspapers; as you know, he thinks the entire newspaper industry is a dying business model, but enjoys reading the wit and … Continue reading →
Dear Cub Scouts of America, A quick note about your most-famous annual event, the Pinewood Derby. It really needs to stop. As such, both the Царевич and Цесаревич will not be participating this year, even though they each came up … Continue reading →
Every liberal who thinks her opinionon the Second Amendment should control‘Puter’s rights should imagine this guydeciding what her Constitutional rightsshould be, and behave accordingly. In recent days many of ‘Puter’s leftist friends have taken to Facebook, crowing about how fantastic … Continue reading →
Elizabeth Warren was originally slatedto head the CFPB. This is the best picture‘Puter could find of her. It’s stunning how closely Sen. Warren resembles her ancestorChief Wahoo, noble mascot of MLB’s totallynot racist Cleveland Indians. Unless you’re in the financial … Continue reading →
Fair is fair. The media have declared the Second Amendment ineffective. We get it. But guns are only half the problem, right? Someone has to pull the trigger. So in the same spirit that the media are looking out for … Continue reading →
Borepatch put us onto this one, and it sounds like a bunch of hooey. According to something called (really) HotHardware.com, Verizon has developed a technology that, when put into a cable television receiver, can eavesdrop on your conversations while you … Continue reading →
In this earlier post, I raised some of the issues regarding this “fiscal cliff” that the country is facing and that leads most major new outlet’s coverage these days. In this post, let me outline a few answers and issues … Continue reading →
Thanks to our good graces here at Castle Gormogon, two winners of the almost $600 million dollar Powerball game are out there somewhere. And already this morning, the Czar’s jaws dropped to see not one but two (possibly three) media … Continue reading →
Part Two of Seven Click here for Part One: Introduction It is time Republicans started to realize Reagan was a rare event, and that we need to stop listening to the guys trying to bring him back.Ronald Reagan isn’t coming … Continue reading →
Thanks to everyone who read our explanation of political polling. In less than eight hours, it screamed to the top of our all-time most-popular features here at the Big G and got considerable attention from much bigger media outlets. That … Continue reading →
The Czar stopped looking at day-to-day polling on Friday, when it became clear that all of it had become complete nonsense. Normally at election time, the media polls favor the Democrats in big numbers in order to starve money from … Continue reading →
Seen this story from Gizmodo that the TSA is rolling out a secret new scanner that can completely detail everything about you from 164 feet away??!!!Eleven+y one111?? Not coming soon to every airport or street corner you can think of. … Continue reading →
Good evening; I’m Cobb Webb, and this is April Schauers, with your local Chicago 9:00 news. Our lead story tonight is the NATO protests which brought terror to the streets of Chicago, as throngs of protestors battled Chicago police for … Continue reading →
Look, Axelrod, no matter how much you plant headlines like The GOP’s sad infatuation with Rev. Jeremiah Wright, you’re never going to pin this racist lunatic on Republicans. Fact is, it wasn’t the Republicans who attended his church for 20 … Continue reading →
File this under “s” for “shocking.” Or under “n” for “not at all shocking.” The New York Times finds it noteworthy and newsworthy to inform its ever-dwindling readership: (1) Occupy Wall Street is complaining and (2) The NYPD thought it … Continue reading →
Want more stupid? Chicago alderman George Cardenas, who by rights should be looking for a real job after the next election, has introduces a resolution to the City of Chicago to impose a fifteen-to-thirty-cents-per-ounce tax on soft drinks and energy … Continue reading →
God bless the EPA. In an age when Republican candidates are competing on how badly they will dismember the EPA, certain news stories sure do not help the cause. Take this story. In 2007, the EPA enacted a regulation that … Continue reading →
ABC News is terrified to report… deep breath… Romney Failed to Disclose Swiss Bank Account Income!!!!!!!11!!!$!!!ELEVENTY!!!! !!1 !! The horror, the horror. Allow the Czar to summarize this horrible, horrible story, paragraph by paragraph. You might want to cushion yourselves … Continue reading →
You know, there is one thing that differentiates the Czar more so than the other brilliant yahoos who write here. Oh, they certainly share the Czar’s hatred for it, but the Czar has a certain passion for it. That thing … Continue reading →
Guy lets his underage daughter start a blog and email account on Google. Under terms of the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act, Google immediately whacked her blog and email account until further notice. Like, say, when she turns 13 and … Continue reading →
This is not really about liberals or conservatives, but about immaturity and living in a fantasy world. A handful of OWS protestors has established a rape free zone in Zuccotti Park, including a tent safe house that can provide shelter … Continue reading →
There are two ways of looking at this Quinnipiac poll analysis (prepared we believe by Philip Klein of the Washington Examiner). The first is the obvious “Yeah, the less of a fat cat rich-ass robber baron bastard you are, the … Continue reading →
In today’s Washington Post, columnist Eugene Robinson attempts to discredit those of us who are skeptical of the Left’s religiously raputrous embrace of The Holy Mother Church of Anthropogenic Global Warming. In his weak attempt, Mr. Robinson manages to increase … Continue reading →
Via the awesome Borepatch. Mr. Abbott, you may possibly receive a visit from the Mandarin. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in … Continue reading →
Oh good. Obama is now backing the Occupy protestors. And the liberals all said George Bush was a clueless idiot. This move could not be more wrong, based on the fact that the core protestors can’t stand Obama: he is … Continue reading →
Even saints have limits to their patience. The Царица, whom by now all of you know is a public school teacher in a very dicey suburb outside Chicago, has quietly and with much dignity absorbed the slings and arrows of … Continue reading →
The Czar has perhaps mentioned that he detests Hollywood celebrities. Yes? Okay, so courtesy Brendan at Tyler Durden, who heaps out plenty of celebrity justice so the Czar doesn’t have to, comes a perfectly pathetic story. Just hate-filled. Actress Kim … Continue reading →
The New York Times editorial board strikes another blow for market ignorance today in this editorial. Its premise is that in order to save the housing market, we have to destroy it. Sadly, this is an all too common attitude … Continue reading →
Here’s a little riddle for all of ‘Puter’s “progressive” friends. Q. How is the Peace Corps like the Catholic Church? A. Both have horribly mismanaged credible allegations of sexual assault and rape, covered them up for years, and blamed the … Continue reading →
The President has announced that the United States will reduce oil imports by 33% by 2020. How will he make up the balance? Not by drilling, no, no. He argues that oil companies have plenty of capacity onshore and offshore. … Continue reading →
Much ado is being made over this video. A 14-year-old Australian punk decided to pick on a reportedly pacifist 16-year-old kid simply because the latter was different and not thoroughly popular. The Czar maintains that pacifists simply are people who … Continue reading →
There is an entertaining read out there about a guy who buys a television at Wal-Mart, and refuses to show his receipt to the guy at the exit because local state law says he does not have to. The Czar … Continue reading →
Sometimes the Czar doesn’t even get a chance to become enraged. For example, the Czar found out recently that there was a movement afoot to release names of Illinois firearm identification holders to the public. Evidently, the Associated Press—for reasons … Continue reading →
Dear Previous Owner of The Czar’s Royal Dacha, Whatever it is you are doing right now, stop it. Just stop. You are an idiot and have no idea what you are doing. To be fair, the Czar has prepared a … Continue reading →
From: UBN Information Officer (fighterz—–0101@att.net)To: Mr. Czar MuscovyDate: January 21, 2011Subject: Attn: Valued CustomerWe write to bring to yournotice about your pendingpayment of 5.5 Million USD. Your pendingpayment is now confirmed by the UN and authorized for immediatewire transfer to … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s liberal friends are at it again, blaming the Tucson massacre on conservatives. Specifically, Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann. Here’s the reasoned detailed analysis from ‘Puter’s friend, via Facebook: On my way out of this determined-to-destroy itself country–and I’m not … Continue reading →
Dnan Milbank has a perplexing column in today’s Washington Post. Mr. Milbank attacks Republicans not so much for reading the Constitution on the floor of the House, but for having the temerity to read only the currently operative portions of … Continue reading →
Last week a number of “celebrities” killed-off their digital selves on Twitter and Facebook as part of a fund raising drive for an HIV/AIDS relief organization that services Africa and India. The objective was to raise $1 million. Once the … Continue reading →
This is going to be a bit of a gripe. Now, you know, the Czar isn’t one to complain, but about fifteen minutes ago, his mouse stopped working. Just died, cold. So the Czar unplugged it, and plugged it back … Continue reading →
…you’re supposed to put the kibosh on ideas like when the Mandarin says, “Let’s invest forty mil in a beachfront resort on Yŏnpyŏng-do.” ‘Club Yellow Sea,’ my 至聖 ass… Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. … Continue reading →
Where are the most woo-woo places in the US? You know, the place where you get all funky with crystal healing, spiritual chakras, and so on? Los Angeles, right? San Francisco? Seattle, maybe? The Czar will shock and delight. His … Continue reading →
The San Francisco Chronicle has this headline: “Judge Orders Military To Stop Discharging Gays.” Out of artillery, or what? This is why people only read headlines. A Pennsylvania school district that installed remote camera control software in student laptops in … Continue reading →
A man, claiming he will be paid $1,000,000 for the stunt, streaked fully nude in front of President Obama. No, buddy, you got it exactly backward. It’s the emperor who has no clothes! The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s favorite columnist E.J. Dionne takes on the brewing Tea Party/NAACP dustup in his WaPo column today. Let’s discuss the vertigo inducing mental gymnastics present in this particular E.J. Dionne column, shall we? 1. Mr. Dionne claims a need to … Continue reading →
‘Puter did not end up in Saratoga this weekend after all. His back prevented him from sitting in the car for four hours. So, therefore, it’s another weekend of waking at 5:30 because he can’t sleep any longer between the … Continue reading →
Confucius’s brother Li Bai writes: From the Washington Post today: After their release from Guantanamo, Shihri and Rubaish, both of whom trained and fought with al-Qaeda in Afghanistan, were sent to a Saudi rehabilitation program that uses dialogue and art … Continue reading →
Hysteria? Nonsense. Don’t forget, Царь наш, that we’ve already scientifically documented that Global Warming causes a whole lotta stuff. Via Jonah Goldberg. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com
Continue reading →Well, it took 31 years. Roman Polanski, wanted on an outstanding 1978 statutory rape charge, has consistently dodged American authorities by limiting his travel to countries that deny extradition to the US. He always insisted he was innocent—the 13 year … Continue reading →
Beck took the time to decipher the clues of the Hollywood conspiracy to turn America into a socialist regime. Glenn analyzed photos of Oliver Stone with Chavez on his arm. The two arrived in an armored gondola that Beck noticed … Continue reading →
…well, not sleep… Hey, folks, I get the intention here—all activities in life can be holy—but, c’mon. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com
Continue reading →Mike Goldfarb writes a great obituary. It’s not quite Marc Antony at Caesar’s funeral, but it’s worth your time, beginning: The final vote is 58 to 40. With that victory the Obama White House has eliminated the last major threat … Continue reading →
…a recent Ohio State University study found that a majority of conservatives polled believed [Stephen] Colbert the man was one of them. Oh, please. This is just another variant of the “science proves it: conservatives are idiots!” pseudo-studies that come … Continue reading →
This is a truly sad story, but not a good reason to create new, unnecessary law. The Logan family’s only child — an 18 year old daughter Jessica — sent a nude photo of herself to her boyfriend’s cell phone. … Continue reading →
Sen (Dr.) Coburn (R-OK) is fighting the good fight. I caught up on my newspaper reading this morning and caught his excellent OpEd in the Wall Street Journal. Let me highlight a few of the salient points: less than 10% … Continue reading →
In short, Hertzberg is one of that legion of individuals for whom the contest between political ideologies seems to have become reduced to a competition over education levels and IQs. According to one gratifying myth recently circulating in the blogosphere, … Continue reading →
Jody Bottum writes: Cardinal Martino is the former representative of the Holy See to the United Nations, and he now heads the Vatican’s Council for Justice and Peace—from which perch he recently commented, to an interviewer at Il Sussidiario, about … Continue reading →
Via Buttle. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com
Continue reading →Why teenage boys are the dumbest form of life in the known universe, Part MMDCCCLXXVIII. Via With Leather. Where else? Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com
Continue reading →Politics am stupid. And, for a change, much of the stupidity is coming from the Democrats. In a gaffe that a fourth grader running for class president would’ve seen coming, the Obamessiah is quoted as saying “you can put lipstick … Continue reading →
He cheated on Téa Leoni. What the hell?! That’s Hugh Grant/Divine Brown-level mystifying. And enraging. If I were married to Téa Leoni. I’d have a sex addiction, too. An addiction to sex with Téa Leoni. My god, she’s smart, funny, … Continue reading →
Perhaps these intrepid scientists can consult with those skateboarders to figure out why their brilliant experiments have come to naught. Via With Leather, America’s Idiots-Getting-Injured Leader®. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com
Continue reading →Or not. “Say, guys, that Hurricane Fay has left a foot of standing water on the street! Let’s go tubing!” Meanwhile in an unnamed location, some skateboarders are still trying to use failure-analysis software to figure out what went wrong … Continue reading →
h311 2 t3h y3aH!. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com
Continue reading →A lot of people come up to the Czar and say “Czar, what on earth is wrong with us?” Actually, they say “you,” and not “us,” but we know allegory when we hear it. Of course, we can’t answer that … Continue reading →
Here’s some fun things you can do at an airport which will not only amuse you, but will also have the added topspin of getting you very urgently arrested. Anyway, these are pretty inexpensive, which is good, because you’ll likely … Continue reading →
One of the reason practical jokes are so popular is the intense anticipation. You watch your victim move closer and closer to the trap, or if it’s a setup, you watch them get dragged deeper and deeper into the prank. … Continue reading →
