GorT and family trekked out this past weekend to see “The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies”. To set the stage, GorT has always been a bigger fan of the novel, The Hobbit, than the trilogy of the Lord of … Continue reading →
Ridiculous hotties as click bait?No, just reporting EVA GREENSULLIVAN STAPLETON NAKEDHOTTT SEX SCENE.It’s sad what world-spanningconspiracies are reduced tothese days… A historian of the battle of Salamis looks at the new movie spectacle: Hollywood might not know much about history, … Continue reading →
Off io9’s list of the ten weirdest Marvel movies never made, via Debby Witt, here’s prima facie evidence that everydamnone in Hollywood from 1971–1986 was melting their septa with Bolivian marching powder. To wit: Long before Fantastic 4: Rise of … Continue reading →
The Pixar conquest of Disney—the ongoing effort by the new recruits from Pixar to change the Mouse House’s shallow culture of self-indulgence and self-esteem with something much more morally serious—has been an uneven battle up to now. But Frozen is an unqualified … Continue reading →
That line, more or less, is uttered of Gene Hackman’s character in David Mamet’s Heist. The line is truer, however, of the actor saying it, the magnificent sleight-of-hand artist, Ricky Jay, about whom a new documentary has been made. You should … Continue reading →
So if you missed the relaunch of the Cosmos series last night with Neil deGrasse Tyson, I would recommend tuning in on Friday to watch. There is plenty to say about his personal views and maybe even some of the … Continue reading →
Non-Chicago readers—which is most of you—will recall that a long-time Chicago icon is now gone. Dominick’s grocery stores, which had one or two stores in every neighborhood and suburb, closed its doors for good last week. The problem, very simply, … Continue reading →
GorT & Mrs. GorT went out to dinner and a movie with friends last night. It was a spur of the moment kind of thing and our friends chose the restaurant and movie. The meal was really good – we … Continue reading →
The Царица has odd tastes in television relative to the Czar. Although we cheerfully watch the same firearm shows, often together, she will—when the Czar is out of the room for any length of time—put on something incredibly stupid. Particularly … Continue reading →
This will make sense if you watched the Day of the Doctor Gentle Readers, This contains spoilers, but as it is after the 48 hour embargo period, Dr. J. decided to start off with spoiler free reviews then delve into … Continue reading →
If you want a helpful review of Thor: The Dark World, there is no question you need to read Dr. J’s excellent, spoiler-free, pro-grade-level review. Tell us about it. This is how the Czar looked and felt after hearing seven … Continue reading →
Some recent productions that have been greenlit in Hollywood caught our attention. Leave It To Beaver, starring Saoirse Ronan and Benedict Cumberbatch, will be a dark, gritty reimagining of life in Mayfield. Beaver, haunted by a mysterious childhood tragedy, is … Continue reading →
THE FIRST THING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PACIFIC RIM IS THAT IT’S LOUD. REALLY LOUD. LIKE THE LOUDEST MOVIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD. Seriously, the Czar has attended rock concerts that had more concern for inner ear sensitivity. Really. … Continue reading →
Uh,huh. So this White House Down movie is not doing very well. It opened in fourth place behind two repeat films (it brought in only half as much as Monsters University, now in its second week) and well behind a … Continue reading →
Mrs. GorT and I attended a 3D showing of the new Superman movie, Man of Steel last night. It was chosen largely because its timing coincided with the One Direction concert that one of our daughters attended with a friend. … Continue reading →
The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of … Continue reading →
You know where GorT will be on November 1st: “If you try and lose then it isn’t your fault. But if you don’t try and we lose, then it’s all your fault.” GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ … Continue reading →
Very few of you likely know that our staid, dependable, eleven-foot, time-travelling robot, GorT, had a brief déclassé film career. Sure, you all know about his headliner role with Michael Rennie and Patricia Neal in The Day the Earth Stood … Continue reading →
“Is this a dagger which I see before me, The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee. I have thee not, and yet I see thee still. Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible To feeling as to sight? … Continue reading →
GorT and family saw The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey last night and it lived up to the other Jackson adaptations of Tolkien’s works. We ended up seeing it in 3D which I actually feel benefited the movie in some of … Continue reading →
GorT had a wonderful Thanksgiving (minus I-freaking-95 from Richmond to DC on Saturday evening) and with a little downtime and unwinding on Friday evening, I watched Obama 2016, the movie, with my in-laws. It has an interesting premise … Continue reading →
GorT has a number of favorite genres for fiction which include mysteries (particularly British characters such as P.D. James’ Adam Dalgliesh series, Sarah Caudwell’s Hilary Tamar series and Deborah Crombie’s Kincaid/James series, but also some other sub-genres), British naval historical … Continue reading →
Heh, fool Dr. J. once, shame on you, fool him twice, shame on him. Apparently the year was photoshopped. Mandy’s now got 3 years to whip up a hover skate board for Dr. J. Dr. J. still feels old. Now … Continue reading →
Dr. J. took in the Amazing Spider-Man with Clan J. and the Lil Med-Student’s wacky sidekick who, unbeknown to us took in the movie a few days prior and proceeded to inform Dr. J. and the Lil MedStudent about everything … Continue reading →
Let us answer your critical questions on the new Spider-Man movie. Q. My husband wants to buy a llama for the home. Can this movie help us determine whether this is a good idea? A. This movie makes it quite … Continue reading →
I really wasn’t planning on writing about Aaron Sorkin or “Newsroom” and all the hoopla that is surrounding it. I could really care less – I don’t watch it and actually don’t subscribe to HBO. It didn’t pass the cost-benefit … Continue reading →
One thing that Dr. J. learned from Dungeon’s and Dragons was to stay away from Will-o-the-Wisps Clan J. went to the moves this evening to take in Pixar’s latest, Brave. It was the first non-sequel movie from Pixar since Up, … Continue reading →
There is an entire course in psychology within this 3:16 Craig Ferguson clip. All of it is right.Thanks to FotG Jonah Goldberg for alerting us to this. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, … Continue reading →
Dr. J., Mrs. Dr. J., the Lil Resident and Lil Med Student took in the Avengers at the local theatre on Sunday after mass. Dr. J. was looking forward to this movie for quite some time. He was not disappointed. … Continue reading →
Well, the Czar concedes that he was hoping either Dr. J. or the Mandarin would write a review for The Avengers first. Clearly, they are waiting for us to do it. First, some generalizations: Well done. Go see it. Very … Continue reading →
Lil Med Student loved the game…and can’t wait for the big screen presentation. Dr. J.
Continue reading →GorT and family saw Hunger Games last night. Simply put, it was a very good movie – very well done and worth seeing. I’d highly recommend a decent theater with a large screen (possibly an IMAX) and definitely one with … Continue reading →
Ah, screw it, thought the Czar. And he grabbed the boys late Friday night, and with the Царица riding shotgun, we headed off to the cinema and viewed John Carter. As the Volgi suggested we would, we enjoyed it. The … Continue reading →
Edgar Rice Burroughs was very much a private man, so it was with some surprise that the Czar bumped into him at a cocktail party around 1910 when the latter was back in Chicago. The Czar found the 34-year-old pencil … Continue reading →
Dr. J. has had a crazy weekend. Lil Med Student sustained a concussion food shopping with Dr. J. For parents out there, a real-life version of Shopping Cart Hero is not a good idea. Dr. J. appreciates all of the … Continue reading →
Hollywood is all excited about the Oscars tonight; so much so, they will all be stunned about the incredibly low ratings certain to follow. What on earth is wrong with you people, the networks will ask about us. We are … Continue reading →
The J. clan took in the 4:00 showing of The Phantom Menace in 3D at the New Atlantis Googleplex yesterday. Go ahead, openly mock, you know the consequences. Why did we fork over $51.50 go see what is considered a … Continue reading →
Time for a true story about the Czar’s sainted mother? The year is about 1994. Some acquaintances of hers begin speaking in non sequiturs and laughing hysterically, much to her annoyance. She demanded an explanation, naturally, and her friends asked … Continue reading →
Amazed writes in: re: Your post of 1/29/12 about seeing Real Steel. Answer: You’re welcome. My share of the $18.3 million dollar subsidy the gazillionaire producers got in taxpayer money for filming Real Steel for 2 weeks in my old … Continue reading →
The Czar had heard good things about Dreamworks’ Real Steel, and was more than okay with the kids renting it this weekend. You probably heard too that it was better than it looked. Wow. This was, seriously, one of the … Continue reading →
Well, maybe now craw…maybe I should say ultra-hi PSI servo-acutuated grasper. There are secrets, classifications and security clearances for a reason. Largely, and in a way a simplification, it is to protect the means and methods by which our country … Continue reading →
Some things that Hollywood writers will never admit? First, corporate CEOs do not reside in castle-like offices at the top of skyscrapers, with wood trimmed walls, fireplaces, massive desks, and impossibly large windows. The Czar has been in many CEO … Continue reading →
Basically, the plot of V for Vendetta involves a horribly disfigured guy who conceives of a master plan to topple a cruelly and liberally fascist British government. Almost: something is never quite right about the plan until he meets Evey, … Continue reading →
Dearest Hollywood: We understand you are contemplating increasing the time between a movie’s release on DVD or BluRay, and the time which Netflix and Redbox can stock the film for rental. This is because you perceive more people would rather … Continue reading →
Den of Geek, whose website is a bit too frenetic for the Czar, nevertheless has a superb essay: The 10 Biggest Problems With Modern Day Cinema. We wish that all Hollywood directors and producers would read it. They won’t, but … Continue reading →
Lifetime Movie Networks has anounced they are going to reboot several franchises. The Czar is not particularly a fan of the network, but knows in his encompassing wisdom that some of you are. Here is a taste of what you … Continue reading →
The offensively accurate Brendan at Tyler Durden shares something in common with the Czar: a total loathing for celebrities, coupled with Hollywood’s inexplicable idolatry for people who couldn’t figure out where the Panama Canal was located. Most of his stuff, … Continue reading →
The Gormogons are thinking of rebooting the Mary Poppins franchise. Whattaya think of this as our first trailer? H/T to Jonah Goldberg. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was … Continue reading →
Yes, the short answer, is that Captain America: The First Avenger is a pretty solid movie. There is plenty in it to anger homeland haters: the movie is accepts as a given that the Nazis are evil, that America is … Continue reading →
This Sunday, we throw the kids in the armored train and take them to the mall to see Captain America. The Czar likes to go Sunday mornings because the theaters here are emptier, half price, and he really likes sitting … Continue reading →
Know how you meet somebody who is pretty funny, but you realize that you can take maybe 20 or 30 minutes of him before the bit gets tiring and you think he should shut up? Cars 2 is quite a … Continue reading →
Reuters, an old man in his 80s, frowns at the newspaper and asks “How many of these superhero movies are they gonna make?” This article is another good example of why journalists should never be allowed to write. Ever. Green … Continue reading →
Цесаревич and the Czar have returned from the Sunday morning showing of X-Men: First Class. The movie has been getting some odd reviews: most of the mainstream critics seem to dislike this movie, although the reasons why are inarticulate. Roger … Continue reading →
First some thoughts on Thor from BG: Great and Terrible Czar – Our neutered female cat likes to hang around my wife while she’s getting dressed. Is Thor an appropriate movie for cats that like to watch naked women? Is … Continue reading →
The Czar has just returned from seeing Thor with the family, all of whom endorse the movie as whopping good entertainment. As a sort-of review, the Czar will entertain your most essential questions, so that you can decide if you … Continue reading →
Betcha didn’t know that Jean-Paul Sartre wrote a draft script for Star Wars. Well he did. And here it is. 3:11 of boredom and ennui disguised as release. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ … Continue reading →
Over at Big Hollywood, there is a curious essay about the failure of Blu-Ray technology to make a profit when working with Hollywood’s classic films. Not really a surprise, though. When you watch an action-packed, many-things-at-once modern Hollywood film in … Continue reading →
Original here. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com
Continue reading →Bottom line: is Rango any good? Yes. It is very good. In fact, in addition to being a great animated movie, it is an absolutely fantastic Western. By now, you have probably heard the plot is a re-telling of Chinatown, … Continue reading →
Big Hollywood has a nice bit up about the Mandarin’s favorite movie: Forbidden Planet, and what it teaches about Progressivism. Thought we would post this before Mandy did. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ … Continue reading →
The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of … Continue reading →
Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com
Continue reading →HOLLYWOOD, Jan. 25, 2011 / Associated Press/ With the Redbox release of Saw VII, Hollywood is beginning to take notice of the franchise’s success. Saw VII is the seventh film in the franchise, which released the initial movie, Saw, in … Continue reading →
And lo, the Czar hears that some white supremacist groups are protesting the upcoming Marvel movie Thor because, in the trailer, Norse gods are depicted as being multi-racial. What a stunning blow for Marvel, to lose the all-important opening weekend … Continue reading →
Yes, I went and saw Tron 2 over the Christmas break. As a kid, I thought the original Tron, while campy and cheesy, had a certain cool element to it – at least in terms of Science Fiction entertainment. It … Continue reading →
Well, forget WikiLeaks. The Czar has had it with all you people whispering these little movie spoiler secrets back and forth. All right, here goes. The Czar is now going to spill on all those little movie tidbits people have … Continue reading →
The Volgi just let me know that actor Leslie Nielsen has passed away at the age of 84. For once, don’t you know, the Czar is truly shocked. His money was on Gene Hackman. And let it be said, our … Continue reading →
Brilliant. Stop on over at Big Hollywood (link on left) for a lot more on Psycho this week. Happy Halloween! Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com
Continue reading →It is rumored that Ridley Scott is back on the TV adaptation of the 1962 Philip K. Dick novel, “Man in the High Castle”. It sounds like it’s going to be a 4-hour event. For those unaware, the Hugo Award … Continue reading →
Courtesy. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death … Continue reading →
Sigh. Actress Patricia Neal has died at the age of 84. Say what you will about her Oscar, and her brilliant husband/author, her complex personal life, and her many fine performances. She was in one of the Czar’s favoritest films, … Continue reading →
Confucius* would be a little more fired up if this project hadn’t been pretty much the ne plus ultra of unfulfilled rumors, but, one has to say, this would rock pretty hard: EXCLUSIVE: Since he left The Hobbit, Guillermo del … Continue reading →
Dear Czar, I’ve been visiting the castle for about a year now and it has maintained a spot as one of my ever-shifting group of 5W2TAGAED. Now for the obligatory grovelling…I owe each of you a debt of gratitude for … Continue reading →
Amazingly, at the Mandarin’s wedding, he actually got up and said, “Remove the Earth woman! Prepare her for Our pleasure!” If you can turn this movie off late-night cable, your Tool of the Gormogons membership may be revoked. It’s got … Continue reading →
Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com
Continue reading →Gormogon favorite Rachel Weisz. She’s gonna be in some new Jackie O biopic or other. So there’s your news hook. Let’s all enjoy this picture, shall we? Shh. Shh. She’s pretty like a princess. You’re welcome. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask … Continue reading →
So, yeah, we know Luc Besson. “Pleaze, Messieurs les Gormogôgnes, let me just take a few of ze pictures around ze Château Gormogônne. Eet ees zhust for mon ome meuvies.” More the fool us, we say “ok.” Well, not all … Continue reading →
Gormogon followers who take careful notes—and those are the kind who don’t get tossed into Ghettoputer’s Saturday night “Party Pit”—may remember your Volgi’s offhand remark (while discussing the effect of serial, mostly unintentional distortions of media on the world’s familiar-but-wrong … Continue reading →
Mr. Plinkett, America’s greatest geriatic serial killer and pizza roll aficionado, submits his review of Avatar. Very much worth your time, if not quite the epic demolition job of his incredibly brilliant, 70-minute Phantom Menace review. As said, he’s got … Continue reading →
…but did I miss a meeting about this? Because it seems like something we’d do with some three-level psychological-cultural stratagem, but I can’t ever remember seeing this in any of our memos. So this might just be spontaneously, galactically bizarre. … Continue reading →
Many readers have asked for background about the Gormogons. Well, as you know, Confucius is the Gormogons’ Œcumenical Volgi who’s sustained his life unnaturally for centuries through arcane arts. But what is he really all about? Did he experience chaos … Continue reading →
Will James Cameron make a sequel to Avatar? According to Aaron Water in the Muscovy Times’ Entertainment section (not available on line), Mr. Cameron has other interests first: Actually, I’m much more interested in pulling a, you know, a George … Continue reading →
In the context of Nidal Hassan, we have previously discussed the Loser Factor in jihadi fanatics—and those willing to commit atrocities for a Cause to give their empty lives meaning. Turns out Abû-Flamingpântsî fits the profile there as well as … Continue reading →
That means, “I’m your man,” or “I’m game.” Just FYI. Why would that come to mind? Hmm… …Paramount just bought the spec to The Further Adventures of Doc Holliday says Vicenzo at FilmDrunk. The Gormogons are FedExing a treadmill and … Continue reading →
Here’s an actual comment from Filmdrunk concerning the eminently lame New Moon film. (Sorry to crush your illusions, Tweeny Boppers). “ChinoMoreno says: If you are seeking to be bitten by Edward Cullen, you had better dress up as a pillow.” … Continue reading →
Life imitates Happy Gilmore. Seriously, old dude, if an alligator wants your golf ball, let him have it. 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one … Continue reading →
He’s getting a little hooked on this song ever since he heard it on a trailer for Where the Wild Things Are. By the way, the song is not in the movie. It was used as trailer filler, and word … Continue reading →
You were warned that it’s the Year of the Yeti. And we brought you a glimpse into the seamier side of cinéma yéti. Now, we take you uptown to reveal that, as the Hollywood Reporter writes: ’GON FAVE RAIMI TAPPED … Continue reading →
Love it. Update. Backstory courtesy of the Czar & Czesarevich. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com
Continue reading →Your Volgi will merely reproduce Vince the Film Drunk’s headline: BRUCE CAMPBELL PLAYS ‘BIG PART’ IN SPIDEY 4 Oh hell to the yeah. Wait, what are you still doing here? That was the end of the post. Oh, you thought … Continue reading →
*Not Kevin Smith. Story at Film Drunk. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com
Continue reading →Your Volgi mocks the Czar, quite openly. One ingenious way he does it: he sends the Czar stories like this, in which a guy who has become an incredibly minor internet phenom for dressing something like a Tron character—except that … Continue reading →
…ME the villain! Just remember, it’s always the highest-ranking white guy in a suit. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com
Continue reading →Via Warming Glow. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com
Continue reading →This is a slightly edited piece of personal correspondence in response to this piece and Jonah Goldberg’s post. For a great illustration of the Evil Vampire vs. Sexy Vampire, see this Final Girl post on 30 Days of Night. Also … Continue reading →
GorT— Mark Steyn reminds us that movies are a particularly thoughtful gift for someone who can‘t see very well. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com
Continue reading →“Why….won’t….this….play…..ARRRRGGGHHH!” A funny thought: the brilliant gift of the 25 DVDs given to British PM Brown by President Obama might be region encoded (region 1 to be specific which is North America, minus Mexico). Well, if Mr. Brown has a standard … Continue reading →
Glad they finally fixed this to restore the original soundtrack. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com
Continue reading →
