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I’m altering the bargain. Pray that I do not alter it further.

The Gormogons Posted on March 7, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Apparently the Russian Army is storming a Ukranian air force base in Crimea, despite calls for a diplomatic solution during their phone call yesterday. I will make it legal… Remember President Obama’s words to former President Medvedev? “After my election … Continue reading →

Posted in Foreign Policy, Putin that Chekist хуй, Russia, Star Wars, The Obama Amateur Hour, Ukraine

Mailbag – Uncle Jay Strikes Back!

The Gormogons Posted on January 17, 2014 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. apologizes for the delay in posting this missive addressed to the Czar but forwarded to Dr. J. from the one and only Uncle Jay: Dear Dread & Awful.:  A vast smoke screen, wasn’t it? This whole Polar Votrex … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Gormogon Infighting, Gormogonica, Star Wars, The Mandarin, Uncle Jay, Volgi (pronounced Volgi)

The Question No One Is Asking About Healthcare.Gov

The Gormogons Posted on October 23, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Meesa hand ovah the keys to the Republic for free healthcare for Gungans, okieday? Gentle Readers, In all of the headlines about the miserable failure that is the Healthcare.gov website, no one is asking this simple question:Why do people have … Continue reading →

Posted in 1984, Big Government, Dr. J. Style, Government Control, Jar Jar, Mixed Metaphors, ObamaCare, Star Wars, The Obama Amateur Hour

Your mom called, she said, “YOU SUCK!”

The Gormogons Posted on October 23, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

As the resident physician, scientist and dabbler in economics, Dr. J. was most amused by this joke matrix: Yo mama so fat, Ben Kenobi said, “That’s no moon, that’s yo mama!” Dr. J.

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Posted in Dr. J., Economics, Humor, Medicine, Science, Star Wars

Remember that tax hike…Tax-hiketastic, Part the Second

The Gormogons Posted on October 19, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gentle Readers, About a year ago, Dr. J. wrote regarding the New Atlantis budget which included a 13% property tax hike for Dr. J. Asteroids do not concern me, Admiral. I want cost-effective schools, not excuses. Dr. J. also discussed … Continue reading →

Posted in Big Skool, Mrs. 'Puter, Mrs. The Czar, My Little Pony, Property Taxes, Public Education, Public Schools, Star Wars, Taxes

Who is more foolish…

The Gormogons Posted on July 26, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

…the fool, or the fools who follow him. – Obi Wan Kenobi, Star Wars I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if 55 million voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has … Continue reading →

Posted in Abortion, College, Education, Gallows Humor, Liberal Idiots, Star Wars

What does Dr. J. want?

The Gormogons Posted on May 23, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

What do you want, readers? Dr. J. was having lunch the other day with Mr. Morden. He asked, so Dr. J. answered: Dr. J. wants a Superman movie with someone other than Lex Luthor or General Zod as the villain … Continue reading →

Posted in Babylon 5, Bill of Rights, Doctor Who, Internal Revenue Service, Journalism, My Little Pony, Star Trek, Star Wars, The Obama Amateur Hour

Our Lil Obama’s Growing Up?

The Gormogons Posted on April 8, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. was reflecting on the approach that President Obama’s been taking with the public in his second term rather than his first term. During the first term, and on some issues in the second term, he reminds Dr. J. … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Dr. J. Style, Dune, Freedom, Ice Cream, Lil Medstudent, Lil Resident, Star Wars, The Obama Amateur Hour

The kid is not my son…

The Gormogons Posted on March 12, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

This has been making the rounds on Facebook: We cannot vouch for any rogue midichorines, however… Dr. J. has never met, let alone been in the same timezone as Deviant Artist ~Hearte42‘s bride, he swears! Dr. J.

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Posted in Art, Dr. J., Humor, Sith Lord, Star Wars

Jedi Mind Meld!?!?!? BWAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!

The Gormogons Posted on March 1, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

While Dr. J. was applying some Force Lightning™ to a patient in the basement of the Castle he missed this tweet by Friend of the Gormogon Freddoso: Jedi mind-meld?— David Freddoso (@freddoso) March 1, 2013 Followed by: “Jedi Mind Meld.”— … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Jedis, Star Trek, Star Wars, The Obama Amateur Hour, Vulcans

Mailbag: Kitties and Cookies Edition

The Gormogons Posted on January 31, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. is emptying out his inbox and finally has a moment to respond to these missives from earlier in the week. Operative RKB writes in: I did not know you had a kitten, but apparently he(she ???) is putting … Continue reading →

Posted in Archivist, Cookies, Gormogon Operatives, Jedis, Mailbag, Minions, Sith Lord, Star Wars

Well Done Disney!

The Gormogons Posted on January 26, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

ERMAGERD! LRNZ FLRZ!1!!El@vEntY! It is official. J.J. Abrams will be directing Star Wars: Episode VII! Screenwriter Michael Arndt (Little Miss Sunshine, Toy Story 3) will be drafting the script. Dr. J. is excited about this. He is the most successful … Continue reading →

Posted in JJ Abrams, Star Wars, Yaphet Kotto

Nerd News You Can Use

The Gormogons Posted on January 14, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

How about The Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?I’m ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille! Dr. J., as you know, is a big Star Wars fan. He saw the original Star Wars on opening weekend as a yout’, and … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Nerds, Star Wars

And the Oscar goes to…

The Gormogons Posted on January 13, 2013 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Nooooooooooo! Annie Hall won? Seriously?  Gentle Readers, Dr. J. and Clan J. loves going to the movies. Consequently, Dr. J. loves to make his Oscar predictions. He doesn’t watch the Oscars because he finds celebrity self-congradulatory adulation ponderous. He does … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrities, Dr. J., Hollywood, Lil Resident, Musicals, Oscars, Star Wars

If Darth Vader Was the Czar’s Grandma

The Gormogons Posted on January 8, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

It would have been much like this. VERY much like this: The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated … Continue reading →

Posted in Star Wars, The Czar of Muscovy

Mailbag – Droid Factory Edition

The Gormogons Posted on December 18, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Operative BG writes in: Dr. J.,  Is it possible I’ve divined the actual location of Castle Gormogon?  Dr. J’s prescription shows the castle’s phone number as 888-867-5309, which is apparently located at 2209 Whitten Road, Memphis, TN 38133.  I’m thinking … Continue reading →

Posted in 2-1B, And yet she must scream, Castle Gormogon, Cyborg, Darth Vader, Dr. J., Gormogon Operatives, Hello Kitty, Minions, Star Wars, Wisconsin

Dr. J.’s Christmas Tree(s)

The Gormogons Posted on December 12, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Some people put antlers, elf ears or candy canes on their car. Dr. J. went the whole nine yards, pimping his ride for Christmas: Imperial Star Destroyer – Christmas style.Note the Christmas Light undercarriage! But, as you know. Clan J. … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Merry Christmas, Star Wars

Happy Hanukkah

The Gormogons Posted on December 8, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

The Gormogons wish a Happy Hanukkah to all of our Jewish readers! Dr. J.

Continue reading →
Posted in Han Solo, Happy Hanukkah, Jews, Judaism, Shooting First, Star Wars

Coexist…

The Gormogons Posted on November 20, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

That is all… Dr. J.

Continue reading →
Posted in Babylon 5, Death Star, Doctor Who, Firefly, Star Trek, Star Wars

…and in other news…

The Gormogons Posted on November 8, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

The sun still rises in the east… Well, if we’re all going to be hostages of the welfare state, much like in ancient Rome, we can enjoy the bread and circuses. A hot topic that has yet to be posted upon … Continue reading →

Posted in Disney, George Lucas, Star Wars, The Obama Amateur Hour

Space War!

The Gormogons Posted on October 2, 2012 by GorTApril 6, 2014

GorT has a number of favorite genres for fiction which include mysteries (particularly British characters such as P.D. James’ Adam Dalgliesh series, Sarah Caudwell’s Hilary Tamar series and Deborah Crombie’s Kincaid/James series, but also some other sub-genres), British naval historical … Continue reading →

Posted in Babylon 5, Battlestar Galactica, Military, Science Fiction, Star Wars, This book really sucks, This movie really sucks

Tauntaun Meat, It’s What’s For Dinner…

The Gormogons Posted on August 20, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

2-1B is more than a medical droid, he does much of Dr. J.’s butchering and  other mundane culinary prep work on the weekends. The Lil Medstudent was enjoying a plate of bacon for breakfast before heading off to the Jedi … Continue reading →

Posted in Breakfast, Death Star, Humor, Jedis, Lil Medstudent, Lil Resident, Star Wars

Quantitative Yoda!

The Gormogons Posted on August 12, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Kinda looks like a New York deli Black and White Cookie, don’t it? Dr. J.

Continue reading →
Posted in Jedis, Math class is hard, Philosophy, Star Wars, Yoda

Happy Cinco de Quatro!

The Gormogons Posted on May 4, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Today is May the Fourth. Your Gormogons, along with your president would like to wish you a happy and blessed Cinco de Quatro: And May the 4th be with you! Dr. J.

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Nerds, Star Wars, The Obama Amateur Hour

Leadership

The Gormogons Posted on April 26, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. received a holocron from the Headmaster of the Jedi Academy today. Among the various and sundry announcements in his missive there was one particularly worthy of notice. All of the independent schools of New Atlantis historically have enjoyed … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Jedis, Leadership, Star Wars

Morning Dance Break

The Gormogons Posted on April 18, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Lil Med Student’s favorite song, and one of his favorite genres all mashed up into one You Tube video.   h/t The Daily What Dr. J.

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Posted in Ballroom Dancing, Hip Hop, Lil Medstudent, Star Wars

Dr. Seuss re-writes Star Wars…

The Gormogons Posted on April 2, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J.

Continue reading →
Posted in Dr. Seuss, Humor, Star Wars

Mailbag – Picture Pages

The Gormogons Posted on April 2, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

This mailbag has quite a rash of pictures associated with it. Consequently, Dr. J. had to insert some filler to get them below his mailbag icon. Myrmidon Wrangler DT Writes: Dr. the J,  I can handle the OWS crowd. I … Continue reading →

Posted in Borepatch, Broccoli, Dr. J., Gormogon Infighting, Gormogon Operatives, Humor, Mailbag, Star Wars

St. Patrick’s Day Prep Class

The Gormogons Posted on March 16, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Gentle Readers, St. Patrick’s Day isn’t St. Patrick’s day without a pint of Guinness. Trust Dr. J. when he says he will be knocking back a few tomorrow. It’s good for you, after all. The best way to drink Guinness is … Continue reading →

Posted in Beer, Guinness, St. Patrick, Star Wars

Mailbag – The Pancetta Menace

The Gormogons Posted on March 2, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Operative DT takes a break from Myrmidon Wrangling to write in: Doc, I think the Estudiante Medico Pequeño is on to something. That planet’s not just meat – that’s sweet, sweet bacon (pbuh)!  That makes me curious, though – as … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogon Operatives, Mailbag, pancetta, Star Wars

What the Hell is the Meat Planet?

The Gormogons Posted on March 1, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. and the Lil Med Students were building a new Lego set on Monday. It was the escape pod that C3PO and R2D2 used to flee the Tantive IV at the beginning of Star Wars (Episode IV). So when … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Lil Medstudent, Out of the mouth of babes, Star Wars

Dr. J. finally endorses a candidate for Super Tuesday!

The Gormogons Posted on February 29, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

It’s been my experience that Senators are only focused on pleasing those who fund their campaigns… and they are more than willing to forget the niceties of democracy to get those funds. Dr. J.

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Obi Wan Kenobi, Politics, Star Wars

Star Wars: Episode 1 – Now with more Menace

The Gormogons Posted on February 27, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. has had a crazy weekend. Lil Med Student sustained a concussion food shopping with Dr. J. For parents out there, a real-life version of Shopping Cart Hero is not a good idea. Dr. J. appreciates all of the … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Lil Medstudent, Star Wars, This movie really sucks

Mailbag – Phantom Menace Edition

The Gormogons Posted on February 22, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. received a couple of missives regarding his post last week regarding The Phantom Menace in 3D. The first is from none other than Merlin, himself. You can read him at Merlin’s Musings. And you should check in daily. … Continue reading →

Posted in Linguistics, Mailbag, Star Wars

Movie Re-review: The Phantom Menace in 3D

The Gormogons Posted on February 12, 2012 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

The J. clan took in the 4:00 showing of The Phantom Menace in 3D at the New Atlantis Googleplex yesterday. Go ahead, openly mock, you know the consequences. Why did we fork over $51.50 go see what is considered a … Continue reading →

Posted in 3D, Dr. J., Lil Medstudent, Lil Resident, Mrs. Dr. J., Star Wars, This movie really sucks

Dark Lord of the Sith…

The Gormogons Posted on January 25, 2012 by The MandarinApril 6, 2014

Your Mandarin watched a portion of President Obama’s State of the Union address. One portion of the address that struck your Mandarin as disturbing was when the President, after stating that he wanted Congress to put a bill on his … Continue reading →

Posted in Dirty Liberals, Liberal Fascism, Liberal Idiots, Liberals, One Term President, President, Progressives, Sith Lord, Star Wars, The Mandarin

Gormogon Advent Calendar – Day 2

The Gormogons Posted on December 2, 2011 by GorTApril 6, 2014

Dr. J was the next lucky draw to open the next door on our 30-story advent calendar (I told you, we like gifts and small chocolates just ain’t gonna cut it).  He was dancing around like a little schoolkid.  So … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. J., Gormogonica, Merry Christmas, Star Wars

If the Grinch only had a Star Destroyer…

The Gormogons Posted on November 28, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

Dr. J. wanted to share this lil Christmas Special with our Gentle Readers… Well worth the 3 minutes of your otherwise productive day… h/t The Daily What Dr. J.

Continue reading →
Posted in Darth Vader, Grinch, Humor, Nerds, Star Wars

A preview of President Obama’s speech.

The Gormogons Posted on July 25, 2011 by Dr. J.April 6, 2014

CNN today covered President Obama’s speech to that promoter of ethnic harmony, La Raza. In the speech, he intimated that he may ‘go it alone’ regarding immigration, whatever that means. Hopefully he won’t take the same approach to the debt … Continue reading →

Posted in National Debt, Star Wars, The Obama Amateur Hour

JP Sartre’s Draft of Star Wars

The Gormogons Posted on May 4, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Betcha didn’t know that Jean-Paul Sartre wrote a draft script for Star Wars. Well he did. And here it is. 3:11 of boredom and ennui disguised as release. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ … Continue reading →

Posted in Existentialism, Movies, Star Wars, This movie really sucks

I’ve been waiting for this a long time. —I’ll bet you have.

The Gormogons Posted on January 29, 2011 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Star Wars, This movie really sucks, This TV show really sucks

Space Based Weapons?

The Gormogons Posted on January 5, 2011 by The MandarinApril 7, 2014

When we aren’t busy covering up our activities, we are quite busy exposing other people’s activities. Case in point: NASA accidentally captures photo of a TIE fighter crossing the sun. Here is the photograph they don’t want you to see! … Continue reading →

Posted in Hubble Space Telescope, Missile defense, Space, Space Shuttle, Star Trek, Star Wars, United States Senate

Stormtroopers!

The Gormogons Posted on May 20, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Much more toy-stormtrooper awesomeness here. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Star Wars, Toys

Nice work, dude.

The Gormogons Posted on May 8, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Lego, Star Wars, This movie really sucks

And some snapshots from GorT’s bachelor party

The Gormogons Posted on January 12, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.January 12, 2010

More from L.A. Weekly here. Yes, L.A. is a wretched hive of scum and villainy. From there you can see Western Civilization circling the bowl… Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in GorTechie's Time Travel Adventures, Star Wars, Strippers

I Wanna Be an Airborne Laser…!

The Gormogons Posted on August 7, 2009 by The MandarinAugust 7, 2009

So check this out. The US Air Force has toyed with the idea of putting a high powered laser on the nose of an aircraft for a long time. The problem with this is that air has enough particulate matter … Continue reading →

Posted in Air defense, Dr. Evil, Lasers, Star Wars, USAF

Now witness the power of your fully armed and operational Gormogons!

The Gormogons Posted on August 5, 2009 by GorTAugust 5, 2009

We have successfully infiltrated mainstream media outlets such as CNN as evidenced here (note that the final push was the post here – please note the title, our mind controlling satellites are really working well) and the Washington Post as … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogons, Orbiting Mind Control Satellites, Star Wars

All Your Futures Is Belongs To Us

The Gormogons Posted on July 24, 2009 by 'PuterJuly 24, 2009

At last! Your Gormogons have made the long awaited breakthrough! We have created a clone army of Hello Kitty shock troops to expand the Gormogonical influence throughout the universe and, thanks to GorT, throughout time! Fear the Kitty. ** Photo … Continue reading →

Posted in Gormogonica, Hello Kitty, Star Wars

Will we be thrown about randomly as we accelerate?

The Gormogons Posted on May 7, 2009 by GorTMay 7, 2009

Ok, ok, my fellow Gormogons have subtly prompted me to post something, anything related to Star Trek.  So let’s start with this tidbit.  Over on SPACE.com, there is this article reporting on some scientists’ belief that faster than light (FTL) … Continue reading →

Posted in Star Trek, Star Wars, Technology

Good Relations With the Gormogons I Have

The Gormogons Posted on March 5, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 5, 2009

It’s weird how relevent the Gomorgons website is to every single thing the Czar thinks about. His six-year-old Царевич has recently completed a Lenten sacrifice by watching all six Star Wars episodes in their entirety (that means without wandering off … Continue reading →

Posted in George Lucas, Science Fiction, Star Wars

The Czar writes in to say…

The Gormogons Posted on February 25, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.February 25, 2009

…in response to Ghettoputer’s commentary on Mr. Turo, the 700-pound man accused of dealing prescription drugs out of his house, that he’s familiar with Mr. Turo’s attorney in the case, a Mr. B. Fortuna, Esq. (at right in their court … Continue reading →

Posted in Star Wars, Upstate

’80s awesomeness

The Gormogons Posted on September 25, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.September 25, 2008

Patrick Nagel meets Princess Leia. Read all about it. And buy GorT one here, before the limited edition of 200 is gone. UPDATE: Welcome, to all those lashed to the oar at JVL’s Galley Slaves! Stick around! Have some fun! … Continue reading →

Posted in Star Wars, The ’80s

“…the worst idea since Greedo shooting first.”

The Gormogons Posted on August 24, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 24, 2008

In re Star Wars, about which every male born since, oh, 1965 or so, has a burning opinion he will share with you at the drop of a hat, Confucius* says: Every movie since the first has been worse. Lawrence … Continue reading →

Posted in George Lucas, Star Wars

“I’ve Got a Really Bad Feeling About This”

The Gormogons Posted on August 24, 2008 by GorTAugust 24, 2008

As mentioned earlier, GorT and family went to the see Star Wars: The Clone Wars in the theater. My seven-year old son is fixated on Star Wars. As readers will probably learn over time here, I’m rather easy on most … Continue reading →

Posted in Firefly, George Lucas, Science Fiction, Serenity, Star Wars, This movie really sucks

Advance Screening

The Gormogons Posted on May 25, 1977 by GorTMay 25, 1977

The Gormogons were treated to an advance screening of the new movie, “Star Wars” set to open today, May 25, 1977.  Everyone enjoyed it – it’s a solid storyline with classic heroes and villains that should appeal to generations to … Continue reading →

Posted in Star Wars, This movie really sucks

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