Admit it! Wouldn’t you sometimes rather act out your own Gormogon posts, rather than read the ones we actually put here? Seriously, don’t you just want to go all ‘Puter on NPR once in a while? Or have the Czar go into rage mode when the Colts fumble on their own goal line? Or have Dr. J. point out why you should have that third bourbon?

Now you can! Yes, even you—a foolish mortal—can have Mandarin utterly annihilate your computer when it locks up, or have GorT vaporize your neighbors when they don’t want to sit through a spreadsheet-based PowerPoint slide! Or have Volgi scold your dog in Flemish. Anything is possible when you get your own Gormogon MiniFigure set!

Go ahead; click on the picture for a full-size view.

And look! Dr. J. comes equipped with Force Lightning^TM and helpful 2-1B droid. There’s also a cowering Dat Ho (with pilfered kitchen scrap) and a broom-pushing Sleestak to get in ‘Puter’s way. And all characters come with a variety of weapons, accessories, and implements of snark.

Naturally, these are obtainable at the Castle Gift Shop, so do not wait! Get yours today and start enjoying watching television news again!

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.