Your Mandarin is very concerned about the possibility of a zombie apocalypse. Not because this is a piece of popular culture but more due to the fact that something may or may not have gone wrong in the lab the other day. Your Mandarin apologizes in advance if this causes you any distress or difficulties while traveling over the Thanksgiving holiday, and the impact it has had on the availability of fresh turkeys over 16-pounds.

Anyway, our good friends in Canada have thought about the hand-to-hand aspects to surviving a zombie attack. And put a lot of time into it. A lot of time. So before setting out over the river and through the woods – although your Mandarin suggests you utilize the quality highway system that President Eisenhower was so gracious to build, or tell grandma to stop living in the hinterlands like some feral animal – sit back and enjoy this very informative and fact based instructional video.

The Mandarin

The Mandarin, whose real name is 吏恆, joined the order in 1309, and introduced the Gormogons into England during the 18th Century.

The Mandarin enjoys spending time with his pet manticore, Βάρἰκος, or Barry (who can be found in the Bestiary). When not in the Castle…well, frankly, nobody is quite sure where he goes.

The Mandarin popularized the fine art of “gut booting,” by which he delivers a powerful kick to the stomach of anyone that annoys him. Although nearly universal today, the act of gut booting or threatening someone or something with a gut boot is solely due to him.