Our lonely Canadian writer submits for your approval:

Mighty Czar,

As expected, America’s most recent incarnation of left-wing political protest has been welcomed with open arms by Canada’s iPhone-loving anti-capitalists, enslaved and penniless professors, united anarchists, left-wing politicians and bureaucrats that cycle between political and corporate lobbyist positions, and of course our objective media that apparently missed the last three years of Tea Party protests against corporate welfare and crony capitalism.

So after a lazy, selfish, greedy week of ‘occupying’ the desk of my day job, then spending 20 hours or so of the weekend ‘occupying’ my second work-at-home job in between fulfilling familial obligations, I decided to spend a little down time reading about the most recent outrages the free market has perpetuated against the most oppressed and subjugated members of…uh…Canada’s middle class.

Another sign-carrying protester said she has learned “how messed up the capitalist system is,” through social justice courses she has been taking at London’s King’s College.

“People waste their days working jobs they don’t even like, just to live,” Justine Kovacs said.

Indeed, indeed. That whole pesky reality thing. Perhaps Ms. Kovacs should pursue her doctorate in ‘social justice’ so she is qualified to expound upon the obesity ‘epidemic’ affecting our poorest citizens due to…ummm…access to too much food. Damn you modern day supply chains and farming techniques!

Peter the ‘drummer’ has determined that:

My personal message is anarchy and love because I truly believe as long as we aren’t hurting anyone or causing harm or loss to another person, we should be free to do as we please.

I’m with you homey! Although you might want to consider that there’s not a lot of time for “love” when you’re experiencing “anarchy”. Just a thought.

Anyway, does your Class-Warrior-in-Chief really want to jump on this bandwagon? Will that work in 2012? He seems to have a great deal of faith that his massive donation haul from…errr…Wall Street won’t bite him in the ass. And will Democratic corporate welfare continue to be ignored or lionized as much as the Republican version is highlighted and demonized by sympathetic members of the media?

Somehow I’m thinking it won’t work quite so well this time. Then again, he is running against the Stupid Party.

Sincerely,
Your Canadian Reader

P.S. Kathy Shaidle, a Canadian right-wing blogger h8ter-racist!!1!, defines ‘social justice’ as “The stubborn application of unworkable solutions to imaginary problems.” I have yet to hear a better definition.

P.P.S. Completely off topic, but a few running friends completed the Toronto Marathon this past weekend, along with a 100 year old man! Apparently Mr. Singh’s yellow turban and matching T-shirt had “Sikhs in the City” emblazoned across the front. To me that is, simply put, teh awesome!

Of course, as a minor quibble to an otherwise excellent report, the Czar might suggest that Canadian riff-raff has not welcomed the Occupy Wall Street crowd, so much as they received their orders to start the same nonsense there. Long-time readers of this site know that the Czar believes riots are never spontaneous, and are quite well organized well in advanced—and that anarchists actually are not anarchists and follow orders to the letter.

And a lot of the revealed email documentation shows this is very much the case.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.