JL, an operative of ours presently relocating the Hudson Bay an inch at a time (didn’t notice, didja?) writes in:

Today at the hardware store I stood in line beside a young airman, about 20 I presume, he had just had some keys cut and had bought a HELLO KITTY keyring on which to hang them.

Of couse it could be a present for his daughter, but if it was for himself, should I worry about the future of my country? I am a Canadian.

p.s. It was pink.

A few things:

1. Make no attempt to communicate with that airman, nor interrupt his mission. He works for Ghettoputer.
2. So, no, the keys and ring are not his.
3. Yes, as a Canadian, you should worry much for the future of your country. Canada is a proud, beautiful country, and you being located in Ottawa are in a great position to strengthen her further. And so on. But yes, always, always worry.
4. Thank you for being another Canadian reader. We really need more of you.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.