Music, Meter, Musings, and the Mikado

The Czar enjoys receiving messages from Mark Spahn, of West Seneca, New York, because they invariably start in medias res.

Ponder the meter of the lyrics of these two songs:

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas,
only a hippopotamus will do,
I don’t want a dog, no dinky Tinker Toy,
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy.


But if patriotic sentiment is wanted,
I’ve patriotic ballads cut and dried,
For where’er our country’s banner may be planted,
all other local banners are defied!

Our warrior in serried ranks assembled
never quail, or they conceal it if they do,
and I shouldn’t be surprised if nations trembled,
before the mighty troops, the troops of Titipu!

(Note: before the Mataho Fire Gate; and at 3:46, the book-seller(?) Nakamoto has his shop sign upside-down.)

The melodies are nearly identical too. (Has anyone ever noticed this similarity before? A search on “hippopotamus mikado” produced nothing about the connection, but it did find this link, which has “666 housing units”; are those kind of like Section 8 housing units?)

Meanwhile, some songs that are played around Christmastime have nothing to do with Christmas. Examples: “Jingle Bells”, which a winter song about a sleigh ride. “Frosty the Snowman”, another winter song. Are there any more such non-Christmas Christmas songs?

Winter lasts from about December 20 to about March 20, which puts Christmas in the very beginning of winter. So winter songs like “Jingle Bells” and “Frosty the Snowman” should not disappear from the radio on December 26; they should be just beginning their season.

Even odder is “In the Bleak Midwinter“, which is taken to be a Christmas song:

But — if I calculated right — midwinter is about February 5. So the season for this particular song begins long after Christmas — and even Kwanzaa — has ended.

It’s a Black History Month song.

And yet we hear it only before December 25.

The Czar is of course much relieved that Mark Spahn, of West Seneca, New York, wrote him about this, rather than GorT. When one speaks to GorT of scanning meters, one usually receives precise laser measurements to a variety of distant objects. The Czar of course understands what Mr. Spahn’s concerns are in real time, given the Czar’s deep knowledge of literature and music.

Of course, when analyzing the meter of songs, one should be looking more toward the beat. Describing the prosody of “I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas” is forced and complicated: a repeating iamb trochee pentameter combination ending in a bacchius. However, there are so many variations from verse to verse that you hurt yourself trying.

Rossetti had it going on in her early days. Take our word for it.

Easier to describe it in musical beat terms, though, and you have one of the basic reggae rockers beats, even though these tunes were set down well before Burning Spear was around. ♩.♪♩.♪♩.♪♩.♪, and so on, with emphasis on the first two notes of the measure, and eighth notes on the even counts. You hear pieces of it in songs ranging from the “Don’t Get Me Wrong” to “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” to the Doctor Who theme, as it’s a simple syncopated beat. Add a polka beat to it, and you have everything you need for an entire Lawrence Welk special (“A-one and a-two and a-three and a-four!”).

As for the timeliness of songs, well, that’s commercialism for you. But when the Czar says commercialism, he means it: the song’s lyrics were penned for cash by one of the Czar’s favorite poets, Christina Rossetti—who was far more the party animal than is generally portrayed. She wrote it for Christmas, and when turned into a song by no less than Gustav Holst (who also used a variation of the syncopated beat described above in 5/4 time for his classic “Mars, the Bringer of War”) the piece was assumed to be a Christmas tune and nothing more. She was well past the Czar when she wrote that in 1872, of course, and perhaps that’s why she was so bleak about the holidays.

By the way, Rossetti was not the only poet the Czar has known in his many years, by the way. In a stranger phase years later, the Czar used to, shall we say, hang around with Emily Dickinson. She was quite the frisky one and had a crazed fascination for the song “Yellow Rose of Texas,” which she sang to us constantly, and why every single one of her poems can be sung to its tune. She made no secret of this, as you will see by idle Googling, but the odds are good most readers heard this from the Czar, first.

That you can sing it to other tune is a shocking coincidence to be sure. She watched very little television in the morning, if you get our meaning.

GorT’s Workplace Tips #451

bad-work-environment-001_thumbGorT has shared a number of tips before…no they weren’t titled as such, but the lessons are in the posts, you just have to do the reading.

Tip #451: Your best opportunity for happiness (and therefore success, in my opinion) is to do something you enjoy.

While this may strike many as common sense or not that, there are nuances here to understand.  This came up as GorT had a co-worker announce today that they will be leaving the company.  The root cause, from their perspective, is due to dissatisfaction with our health care insurance provider.  Now, this employee is a self-described “serious liberal”.  They’ve had issues, as others have including GorT, with the provider as far as in versus out of network payments and coverage.  After repeated discussions, I believe that this employee has a fundamental misunderstanding of how health insurance works and a pie-in-the-sky belief of what it should do and cover.  They have limited work experience (about 5 years) and the previous employer (large headcount) had a cadillac level plan.

We’re a small company, under 50 employees, and therefore the plans are limited.  And, as an aside, the costs are rising for us as well – largely due to ACA requirements and impacts.  In addition, the company foots the bill (for now) for employees’ premiums.  There is some saying about a gift horse’s mouth.

My point is that health care insurance is always a mess.  There are always some sort of drawback to your plan: painful forms and processing, high deductibles, small network of providers, etc.  Is this really the reason you want to switch jobs if you really enjoy everything else about your job?

I wish the co-worked all the best.  It’ll be sad to see them leave and we’ll have to work hard to ramp someone else to that position.

How to Repair Broken iPads For No Cost

Is this you? Sure it’s you. It’s totally you. You can admit it. Go ahead. Own it.

It’s a well-known fact in technology circles that all i-devices, like the iPhone, iPad, iPod, and PudThaI, are virtually identical devices that all do exactly the same things and have precisely the same parts in size.

it’s also true that eventually your iPad (or whatever) will suffer damage—a drop, a kick, a well-aimed .50 caliber round finally and deservedly put through the center of it. And as you know, Apple will happily charge you up to several hundred thousand dollars just to sneer at it and remind you that you should have bought the current model which prevents exactly that sort of thing.

Well, don’t throw your money away! Of course, no one actually really does that, do they? But even figuratively or literally, don’t throw your money away! The Czar will use his copious experience of smashing iPads into pieces to show you how you can repair your own iPad for little money.

It’s as easy as opening the device, fixing the broken parts, and closing it back up again! 1-2-3! Anyone can do this.

First, make sure it’s damaged. Sometimes, it just needs a restart. So if it isn’t actually broken, now would be a good time to crack or snap a piece off of it.

The second thing to do is get it open. You can’t fix much on an iPad from the outside, so come back into the house and open her up. To do this, use a reciprocating saw and cut right down the center of the iPad housing.

Remove the central processor taking care not to nick the aorta.

Once the iPad is open, carefully peel away any of the layers of fat. As an aside, you can count the rings on the inside of the glass front to determine the exact age of your iPad. Thicker rings account for fast-growth years, and thinner rings reveal a time of less water. Interestingly, this exact sort of science is behind climate change study proposals.

Remove the central processor of the iPad by unlatching it. It’s easy to recognize: it is a large, thirty-foot-tall structure with plasma bolts shooting from it. Be sure you do not decouple the Krell safety latch marked in orange or you will unleash a psychic beast from the id.

With the processor off and in your hand, blow any dust or debris away from the base. Some debris, especially if it is very ancient, can be valuable so vacuum with care.

Now is a good time to change your iPad’s air filter if you use it outdoors. Upgrade the air intake, too.

Twist the hood cover bolts counter-clockwise (lefty loosey), and raise the hood. The engine block is accessible easily. On iPad Airs, the clamshell hood opens from left to right; all other iPad hoods raise from right to left.

Detach the muffler and blow into it. If the muffler is clean, it should emit a low, soothing trombone-like sound. Experiment with placing your fingers over the various holes. Some iPad repair experts can do chromatic scales up and down quite rapidly; the Czar has never managed this feat and at best can honk out “Mary Had a Little Lamb.” Or the alphabet song; you never can tell.

With the spark plugs exposed, now would be a good time to change them. The iPad uses CJ8 plugs, available at any home improvement store or automotive store. Don’t buy the Apple spark plugs: they cost twice what they should. Like Hello Kitty apparel. By the way, if you can get Hello Kitty spark plugs, a portion of that goes right into the Czar’s pocket.

IPad repair can be done with standard household tools, provided your definition of standard includes reciprocating saws. And it oughta.

Change all fluids in the iPad at this time. Apple has made this easier with the iPad: you can now just pour a cup of water into it and the fluids will all go right where they are supposed to. Blot up any excess.

Rubbing bow string wax carefully between your fingers to soften it, apply a light coating of the wax to the string. Be sure to work the wax into the individual fibers of the string until any fuzzy pieces are smoothed away. Your string should look shiny and new. Do not apply wax to the serving. If you elect to replace the string, note the iPad only uses synthetic strings. Rather than busy yourself unnecessarily with the Cupertino knot, yes: you can use a regular Flemish knot to reattach the string.

All right, that’s about it. Replace the central processor and muffler in the reverse order and latch it all down. Seal the case with WD-40 to keep rain out of it, taking care to ensure no WD-40 gets into the rubberized Wifi port. Boot up your iPad.

Apple often gets a bad rap for being difficult to troubleshoot, but basically all their devices work the same.

At the Apple logo, be sure to recalibrate the digitizer panel by refreshing the cache configuration settings, and renew any licensing lease on the DMS applet by releasing the SSID. That’s pretty much all there is to it.

And enjoy your like-brand-new iPad. For best results, place it back into its original box, and set it on a shelf for the next couple years.

A Collision of Histories

Progressives: A Very Brief History

Any time you start with a serious attempt at reform, somebody comes along and hijacks it toward Leftism.

What, you think Progressives started with this guy? Not even close.

Oh yeah, you can name a whole bunch of things today. Like Ferguson: a few folks get together to hold a candlelight vigil and ask some serious (but ill-informed) questions, and soon the Leftists show up to hurt people and set fire to looted businesses.

But this has been going on longer than you might realize: at least to the French revolution, when a bunch of sans-cullottes were feeling oppressed, got some middle-class backers to organize them together, and soon pow: the Jacobins show up, take over the effort, and shortly thereafter start lopping off heads in the name of reform.

Why, it almost happened to the Republicans. No, you’re thinking the 1920s, but the Czar is older than that.

In the 1880s, of course, the Republicans had just triumphed over the forces of slavery and were looking for their Next Big Project. One group, the Half-Breeds (led by Senator James G. Blaine), wanted to go after the civil service sector, which many felt were a bunch of corrupt jerks appointed for political purposes. Sound familiar? Anyway, the Stalwarts rose in opposition of this, led by Roscoe Conkling, who sought to crush the Half-Breeds. Conkling was a strong, vocal proponent of temperance and was an anti-tobacco progressive. Not surprisingly, his group liked the idea of the spoils system, and found himself opposing every Republican president elected thereafter.

We don’t stop here. You know, the woman’s suffrage movement was initially a Republican idea, supported by the assumption that the 14th Amendment made gender discrimination in voting illegal. Democrats hated it. Soon, the movement was taken over by temperance supporters who…you guessed it…were Republicans who ceded power to Democrats.

Then we get to the 1900s, with libertarian-leaning upper middle class folks looking to put some reasonable safeguards against modernization. As their groups got bigger, they were taken over by the Addams, Sangers, and Deweys—who out-shouted the Republicans and took over the party.

Oui, la véritable origine des progressistes en Amérique.

The problem was that, for the most part, this was also happening to the Democrats. Once, things used to be simpler—Democrats supported slavery, corruption, and xenophobia. But they too found themselves inundated with progressive reformers demanding direct election of Senators, social controls, and welfare. It got so weird that Democrats, who in the 1880s were trying to reduce the size of government, decrease taxes, and modernizing the military, were finding their 1900s-era candidates replaced by people like William Randolph Hearst, John Nance Garner, and Woodrow Wilson, who espoused strong progressive views.

And so the Progressives intended to take over by 1920: they had a 67% chance of doing so, having Wilson and the now completely absorbed Roosevelt running against Taft. Was Teddy a Progressive? Absolutely: he didn’t start out that way, of course, but he was suckered into the movement and willingly accepted it because, like many Roosevelts, he had a paper-thin intellect backing up his personal charisma.

The problem for American Progressives is that Americans were smart enough to see through the charade, and began tiring of him quickly in his second term. Republicans were re-elected; thanks to Roosevelt’s Bull Moose Party, Republican Progressives left the party. These loyal folks were eventually absorbed into the Democrats, and that proved a major problem for Progressivism: Democrats had evolved into liberals, and now were trying to absorb Progressives at the same time.

Of course, Democrats don’t care who votes for them so long as they keep doing it. And this is a real problem: liberals hate Jews, but Progressives like them. Liberals are racist, but Progressives need blacks to take care of. Liberals are pro-abortion, but Progressives need to control child education to raise the next cadre. Liberals like drugs, but Progressives hate them. And so on.

Here you have the modern Democrat. The monstrous, ugly body is sewn together from various pieces of liberal corpses, but the abnormal brain is all Progressive.

What you have is unsteady Frankenstein’s monster of liberal attitudes (“hey man, whatever”) forced to work with Progressive master race fascism (“…as long as it’s my way.”) This is inherently unsustainable, and while liberals out number progressives, progressives control virtually every aspect of liberals’ lives.

Liberals: A Very Brief History

So where do liberals come from?

One would be forgiven for assuming liberals have always been with us. In a neutral sense, that’s true. Heck, without question, the Founding Fathers were liberals. Indeed, many conservatives openly refer to the Founding Fathers as Classical Liberals: that individual freedom must champion the claims of any organization.

When the word “liberal” was co-opted by Social Liberals in the late 19th Century, the term “libertarian” was sometimes used to clarify whether one was a social liberal or a classical liberal. Social liberals, indeed, believe that the community has a responsibility greater than the individual. That sounds nice, and maybe it started that way as an off-shoot of protestant evangelism, but ultimately it began to champion ideas like welfare, housing, education, and health care.

You need not have much imagination to see how innocent attempts at helping others (“we should totally teach these farmers’ kids to read”) is an invitation to Progressive control (“they need to start standardizing syllabi and learning specific topics so kids can be equally smart”).

But prior to that happening in the 1900s, we need to go back to something that happened in Europe. In the mid-19th Century, long before we had Half-Breeds, Mugwumps, and Stalwarts, we had European aristocracy.

In the old days, in the Czar’s day, aristocracies were easy to manage. If you were related to the king, you didn’t need to work. Everything was provided for you until the day you die—which was generally ten minutes after the king was deposed or shortened by eight inches from the top.

However, by the 1800s, kings and queens and emperors were living to relatively ripe old ages. Dukes had little Dukelings, Earls had Earlingtons, Barons had Baronies, and so on. And then their kids had kids, and so on and so on. By the 1840s, you could basically stock and entire city with aristocrats who worked little if at all, slept late, and partied like it was 1899. All on the taxpayers’ dime.

“I am bored today with my own existence. I hope a cheque from the Ministry arrives today, so that I may vomit out my fatigue in the form of wormwood alcohol.”—a Hippie, circa 1850

As the European aristocratic model proved economically unworkable (thank God the Americans decided to go with a President, not a King), the problem with supporting a bunch of low-life upper-class was inarguable. Various attempts to gently reform the aristocracies failed. Soon, it became mandatory to just cut off their cash flow entirely.

This led to them wandering all over the place, in obvious outrage, living off whatever little they had saved, or creating fictitious jobs like “poet.” Because they lived like gypsies, it was believed, and because gypsies came from somewhere over there, they were called Bohemians.

Bohemians weren’t direct off-shoots from European nobility—the Czar remembers executing a bunch of people called “bards” in the 1300s, for example—but the aristocracy soon infected them (especially in Western Europe). People whose dad was a Viscount twenty years ago were now hanging out in coffee shops, smoking opium, and begging. And they voted, often for social welfare programs. Naturally, they were much interested in social liberalism, since it basically offered them a way to get rewarded for doing almost nothing.

As they came to the United States in the 1850s and later, they quickly de-evolved into liberals as we know them: versed in lore and myth, convinced society owes them something, and arrested in adolescence.

And as you know, it takes very little to whip a bunch of high school freshmen into a gang. It took the Nazis and Communists very little. It took Progressives even less effort: heck, they got Republicans and Democrats to support their efforts for a while. But unlike the Nazis and Fascists and Communists, American Progressives were smart enough to change to wording around. Social liberals were now liberals. Jacobins were now Progressives. Statism was the New Deal and the Great Society.

But ultimately, liberals and Progressives do not see eye-to-eye. Nor should they: Progressives see themselves as something much higher, and certainly much smarter than liberals. And now we will see this play out well in the coming year when Hillary Clinton, a Progressive, takes on Elizabeth Warren, a liberal.

This history should explain a lot for you.

돼지불고기 And International Intrigue

Operative TexasAggie (who is obviously some sort of Longhorns fan with a perverse sense of destiny and ritualized self-humiliation), asks an interesting but easily answered question:

So far what I’ve read about the Sony hacks from all my favorite internet commentators is spot on, but no one seems to mention that if it turns out the North Koreans are behind the hack, them that constitutes an attack on our nation by another nation. Whether or not fatalities or physical damage occurred, it was an assault on private citizens and a gross theft of their property by a foreign entity and rises to that level of importance. But what have we done or will we do about it?


Nada is correcto. And readers, there is nothing to wonder about or argue in this case.

When armed Libyan citizens attacked the Benghazi compound, which was American soil, and murdered the ambassador, that was an overt act of war. The President did nothing.

Given the Sony hack was much less catastrophic in terms of lives lost, the President will again do nothing. Since he blamed the compound attack on a YouTube video, perhaps he will blame the Sony hack on the popularity of Korean barbecue places.

The Czar’s Guide to Preserving Old Furniture

Either paint or stain half your furniture at a time. This seems like a good idea. You can even leave it like this.

Preserving old furniture is something everybody does, even that weird old guy who lives a few doors down from you and likes to stand out in his driveway every morning wearing sweat pants and a soiled tee shirt, sipping his coffee, like he wants everyone to see that he doesn’t change his shirt much.

So you better get started. Preserving old furniture, that is. There are many ways to do it. Here is an unsubstantiated small number of poorly researched ways. By poorly researched, of course, the Czar means “not at all,” which is exactly how much this valuable service is costing you this morning.

Step one: find a piece of furniture you want to preserve. Experts recommend you choose the whole thing, of course, and not just a piece of it, but one thing at a time, right?

Step 2: Preserve it. Contrary to the obvious notion, preserves do not work well here. For example, strawberry will, we suppose, do more harm than good. Forest preserves are even farther off the mark, and may cause more damage faster than any other method.

Step C: Take a break! This has been pretty hard work, and by now, you’ve earned a well deserved rest. And by well deserved, we mean poorly researched.

Yeah, here’s the finished product. Looks great! Or maybe this is halfway through. Or perhaps before we started. Anyway, it looks great and you’re to be commended!

Step Д: Get back to it! This seems rather obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people have to be reminded to get back to it after sitting down for a few minutes. Or longer. Especially longer.

Step ٥: Use something to prevent humidity from damaging the wood. Those little packets you get in nearly everything these days are perfect to soak up moisture in ambient air. Best of all, you have dozens of them around the house, which makes it perfect to preserve an entire set of twelve chairs (especially if you’ve hidden jewels inside them). You do have these, don’t you? My God, you haven’t been eating them, have you? It clearly says not to eat them right on the outside of the packet. You think that’s there just for the lawyers?

Step 六: Ensure you are in a well-ventilated area and complete the work. A task well begun is half done, and all that.

Step VII: Nice work! That’s basically all there is to stripping, sanding, staining, and preserving old furniture. This probably works on all types of furniture, including metal, glass, plastic, and wax.

Καὶ Τὰ Λοιπά

Well, the Czar needs to get these out of his inbox and up for the readership before they get any more out of date:

Oh great and esteemed The Czar. Your humble minion on the plains believes that no CIA prisoners got tortured to the extent that the 3000 human beings did that terrible day in September. OK, a few had some water run up their noses and maybe others were subjected to physical discomfort or got a little roughed up, but none of them got crushed under a hundred million tons of steel and concrete. I am sure everyone remembers the “torture” in Abu Ghraib where prisoners were exposed to “high heat” and had to, heaven forbid, use trench latrines.

The horror! Anyway, one of the Abu Ghraib “tortures” was holding a running hand drill near a prisoner’s head. Why, might The Czar ask, was this torture? Boneman worked for a while at a large Army post in San Antonio and had daily access to soldiers who had spent many tours in the sandbox. One of the senior officers spoke of seeing a videotape of Al Qaeda soldiers using an electric hand drill to drill holes in an American soldier’s head and kill them. Now that’s torture! Boneman is greatly disappointed by Senator Feinstein and the rest of the Democrats (and it was only Democrats) who exercised the pointless release of the Senate Intelligence Agencies review of the CIA’s detention and interrogation program. Sen Feinstein has finally revealed herself as the self-serving political hack she is. I mean, she was the Chairperson of this committee for years and didn’t say a peep. Now that the Dems have gotten the boot, her panties are all in a bunch and she wants to take one last swing at the CIA. What a great American! Boneman remains steadfast in his support of the CIA and looks forward to the day when Feinstein goes back to the slow motion train wreck that is California. Good riddance.



Most August Majesty:

We owe a debt of gratitude to the unknown hackers who exposed personal email content passing between some very, very big names in Hollywood who according to the MSM (which published them) were caught exchanging less than complimentary emails regarding POTUS’s suspected choice of favorite film genre, and by extension his cultural acumen in general, said personalities nonetheless being significant donors to his particular campaign activities as well as to liberal causes in general That disclosure illustrates excellently the mindset of the liberal.

Combine this mindset with the deprecatory nonsense about the public in general spouted by Mr. Gruber, and the phony moral superiority displayed by liberals when discussing the recently-released CIA report, and it becomes patently obvious one absolutely prime prerequisite for membership in that philosophical camp is an absolute, unyielding, unbending certitude in their moral superiority plus a matching, unshakeable confidence in the correctness of their reasoning and their overall intellectual ability. As an example of that moral superiority I actually saw on a televised newscast, within the last two days, a female liberal Democrat representative from California calling upon the CIA to apologize to terrorists it had “tortured” – but who are now on the loose decapitating numerous individuals. And yes, they harbored that tendency well before they became guests of the US government.

You just can’t be one of these people without being a self-serving, self-righteous narcissist massively overawed by your own intellectual abilities. They have an answer for everything, every circumstance, and it alone is THE answer. One thing you will never hear from one of these people, when asked to opine about anything, are the phrases, “I don’t know,” or, “I’m not sure yet,” or “I’m not sure those figures are accurate.”

These liberals remind me of the story about the Yankee counterfeiter whose printing press suffered an error and put out a series of $18 bills. It cost the lib – excuse me, crook – a fair amount of material and time to make them and he went down South to try to palm them off on some unsuspecting yokels. After arriving in one hamlet, he rather loudly reiterated to his accomplice his earlier statement about the intelligence of the locals and entered the general store to get the clerk to break the bills for him. After giving one of the bills to the clerk and dispensing some fast-talk palaver about this being some new initiative on the part of the Department of the Treasury, the clerk, who had keen hearing, asked him, “How do you want that change – three 6’s or two 9’s?” – while palming his double-barrel. I can assure you the real folks in the South, and everywhere else in this country, are like the clerk – plenty wise to what’s put out by liberals, and are more than fed up with it.

Could the Royal Physician enlighten me as to how liberals find it possible to walk anywhere without suffering serious falls and continual neck and back pain due to their noses being so highly elevated they interfere with their forward vision? A severely swelled head doesn’t help matters much, either.


PS You may want to take it easy on Sleestak. No less a source than the New Testament itself calls serpents “wise.”

The powerful pug is more than capable of eating a crocodile from the inside out.

The Czar refers all questions directed to Dr. J. to, well, Dr. J.

Regarding the Sony hack, the Czar’s official position is that it was an illegal action, and the Czar is not happy to hear about all of Sony’s property being dumped on the market. The Czar would take no delight in a member of the neighborhood having her home invaded and personal assets dumped onto the street, either.

That said, the news that a couple of Hollywood executives were exposed as jackasses? Not news in anyway. The Czar will clue in the MSM, here: Hollywood jackasses have been jackasses for over a century.

Dear Your Czarness:

With your permission, a brief addendum to the Rolling Stone ”expose`” of “rape” at UVA. Not only has the story still not been retracted, but the administration at UVA has still not altered its position that anyone wearing a goofy Greek-letter sweatshirt is guilty-until-proven innocent. So all fraternities and sororities remain suspended. Well, the world won’t end if the KA/Delta mixer gets rescheduled, but I cannot imagine that “Jackie” or any other UVA student has accused sororities of being a part of the campus “rape culture.” Hmmm, do you suppose that they’re using this as an opportunity to accomplish else? If they’re punishing sororities whose members could not possibly be accused of rape, might this just be a way to “check some privilege”? It appears that the UVA administrators, just like Rolling Stone, knew what the answer ought to be and set about to make sure that the equation added up to the desired result.

I wonder if that hatred of all-things-Greek extends to the Classics Dept. and if we’ll see the elimination of The Odessey from the campus library.

Yours from the Doublewide, JAB

PS: I was never Greek; preferred Latin

Ἡ γλῶσσᾰ ελληνικά ἐστί γλῶσσα ἂπεφθα, ἂξιος σἑβασως καἱ μᾰθηως, and you know it.

Inconvenient Truths for Democrats

‘Puter’s watched in recent weeks as Democrats repeat falsehoods as truths.

‘Puter’s not sure if Democrats even realize they’re doing it. Democrats may be in denial after their recent midterm drubbing, repeating cherished falsehoods incessantly in a vain attempt to make their Utopian fantasies reality.

Or Democrats simply think Americans are profoundly stupid, unable to analyze the world for themselves, willing to believe the stream of effluvium gushing from Democrats’ mouths.

Likely, it’s some combination of these two possibilities.

Since ‘Puter’s a helpful sort, he’s compiled a list of truths, talking points if you will, to assist reality-challenged Democrats.


  • Israel is our ally. Palestinians are our enemy. It’s that simple. Repeat it until you believe it.
  • Sen. Pocahontas Warren’s (D-MA) opposition to the current continuing resolution spending bill is exactly the same level of quixotic asshattery to which Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) treated Americans (and his party) last Fall. Media won’t report it as such because Sen. Warren’s a screamingly hard Left Democrat, like most in the media.
  • ObamaCare required Democrats to lie repeatedly to secure passage. Americans can’t keep their insurance plans. Americans can’t keep their doctors. Insurance costs are rising. ObamaCare policies are less comprehensive and more costly than prior high deductible policies. Quality of care hasn’t improved. Medicare’s robbed to pay for ObamaCare. Many Americans can’t afford their new policies.
  • Democrat district attorneys in two cases (Michael Brown and Eric Garner) gamed the grand jury process to avoid making difficult prosecutorial decisions themselves, to avoid indicting cops or both. These unusual “cover cops’ asses” tactics led to national demonstrations and violence, some of which continue today. Americans can cope peacefully with wrongheaded decisions (see, e.g., the O.J. Simpson acquittal). Americans will not tolerate government rigging the judicial system to protect itself and cops.
  • You are not a “protestor” if your “protest” involves assault, arson, robbery and discharging firearms. You are a criminal and a rioter. Police are justified in using deadly force if necessary to restore order.
  • The economy, not immigration, is America’s largest concern. Americans care about immigration because non-enforcement of its governing laws indicates the lawlessness of the current administration and politicians generally. Additionally, Americans know that granting amnesty to 11 million or more illegal immigrants will further damage legal Americans ability to get a hold jobs.
  • Gruber told the truth about ObamaCare when he thought no one was paying attention. In front of the House Oversight Committee, Gruber lied through his teeth.
  • The CIA’s enhanced interrogation techniques are not torture. The president, government lawyers and Congress all signed off on the legality of and use of EITs on high value targets. Further, despite Sen. Dianne Feinstein’s (D-CA) hatchet job of a report, EITs resulted in actionable intelligence enabling American intelligence (with help from allies) to disrupt and kill al Qaeda operatives worldwide. Last, the alleged torture programs Sen. Feinstein’s politically motivated report decries ceased in the early 2000s. Notably, Sen. Feinstein’s screed makes no mention of any military interrogation programs, just the CIA’s, further diminishing its credibility.
  • Even torture is defensible provided certain preconditions are met. Torture does not kill a person. At least that’s not torture’s objective. If a person is legally permitted to kill another in self-defense, then surely a nation’s intelligence apparatus is permitted to torture individuals to ensure great harm doesn’t befall a nation of people. Pretending otherwise is moralistic preening. And if our Democrat betters truly believe torture is never permissible, they have no business being an elected official.
  • There is no such thing as “rape culture,” and feminism is nothing more than bullying, shrill, Marxist harpies attempting to control American culture. Feminism’s a power play, plain and simple. It’s an irrational, irreconcilable pastiche of discredited horseshit philosophy. Worst, it’s destroying American values. From GamerGate to Rolling Stone’s too-good-to-check “Jackie” story, feminism destroys everything it touches.
  • Only “journalists” and denizens of university faculty lounges think Sen. Wilma Mankiller Warren (D-MA) is a dream candidate. Trust ‘Puter, no one except the Democrat base wants to elect a president who thinks the way to prosperity is to hamstring the economy and redistribute wealth. America’s done that twice now in 2004 and 2008, and we seem to have finally learned our lesson.
  • Obama is a horrible president, and history will not be kind to him. Obama’s presided over a stagnant economy. He’s expanded America’s targeted drone assassination program. Obama’s ignored Constitutional restrictions on presidential authority. His signature legislation is a train wreck which will fail because it’s too costly, it doesn’t work, it’s unconstitutional or all of the above. Obama will be remembered as America’s first Black president, but also as a cautionary tale on electing a person solely because of his race. Or gender.
  • Hillary Clinton’s not an invincible presidential candidate. She may walk off with the Democrat nomination, but Mrs. Clinton will have great difficulty in a general election campaign. She will be forced to answer questions on Benghazi. She will be forced to relive Bill’s sexual infidelity. She will be questioned on her age and health. She will have to answer questions on her 1994 flirtation with secretly installing single payer health care in America. Mrs. Clinton’s closet is a veritable ossuary-filled catacomb full of decades’ worth of scandals, provided the media does its job which is not a given.

‘Puter’d like to acquaint Democrats with more truths, but he’s afraid their small, closed minds would have difficulty with the cognitive dissonance. ‘Puter will revisit the subject as circumstances warrant.


The Czar left the Castle day room, mildly bothered by the smell of Dr. J. using Force Lightning to raise the thermostat and Leng clouds brought a chill on the moor. Yes, we now have a moor; Volgi put one in just before the first Fall frost. It’s coming along nicely. A bit more fog would be nice, but nothing Mandarin’s advector ray couldn’t whip up.

Meanwhile, the minion in charge of the moor implant had this to say:

To the most twinkling and shining of all possible Czars:

Cops, and the violence cops do have been in the news of late. It just makes me think.

Civilization is full of trade-offs. Animals can rely on their own violence to protect themselves. Under mob rule, allegiance to a strong cadre gives some security. Under the rule of law we set those things aside. But having accepted the law, we also accept that those who enforce the law have a monopoly on violence. These are human beings that we are giving that monopoly to, not saints or superheroes. Maybe it’s worth considering that the more power we invest in government, the greater likelihood there will be that one of these humans beings might possibly make a mistake.

We don’t need a law for everything. To do so puts us all at risk, since our government has a monopoly on violence, and since it is operated by humans, it is subject to error.

Of course our police officers should be held to a higher standard. They should be carefully selected, carefully trained and be held accountable to a higher degree, since we have given them a monopoly on violence in our society.

But there should be higher standard for civilians also. There is no reason that Brown or Garner could not have treated the police officers with some sort of politeness, and even deference. If our society gives these guys the authority to kill people as part of their job description, it is to everyone’s advantage if we all treat that as a fact.

Unlike most of us, they can get killed if they make a mistake. It is easy to talk about an unarmed teenager getting killed by a cop, but every cop knows unarmed teenagers are more than capable of killing anyone who hesitates on the job.

Hard to believe, no, that this is even a subject of debate in some circles? Organized police forces, sorry to say, have always suffered problems with corruption and bad (if not evil) cops. But you know where in history we’ve had the least problems with law enforcement? That’s right—today. We have fewer bad cops on the streets today than ever. Estimates from difference sources put the “problem” cop percentage in single-digit numbers. Maybe 8-10% of cops have issues, which is a woefully high number—but that number is much lower than the number of dangerous civilians out challenging them. In other words, cops do a better job of weeding out morons than society does. Creepy, when we put it like that.

But yes—there is, for want of a much better phrase, a social contract between cops and civilians. The former seems to be understanding it more and more, the latter less and less. But of course, the bigger governments become—at any level—the worse the law enforcement abuses become.

And naturally, here is a rambling screed from Operative BJ, who (a) apologized for its length up front, and (b) suggested the Czar should break it up into smaller chunks. Screw that. We had to read it; you can read it. BJ needs his own blog.

Your Fierce Majesty,

This lowly one had several thoughts all at the same time, and thought (ok, that was another one) that he’d share them with you:

– The child-king Obama is about to “pull a Judias Iscariot” on Israel by trading away America’s support for the only true electoral democracy in the Middle East for a deal to allow Israel’s (and probably the world’s) worst enemy to complete its research to build a nuclear weapon. Thus, the child-king Obama finally reveals himself to be a supporter of a sharia-based Islamic Caliphate rather than a supporter of human liberty and freedom.

The problem seems to be that the child-king Obama is annoyed that Israel wants to build housing on land under its control – something that the child-king Obama has effectively prevented in the USA by the injudicious and unconstitutional use of the EPA, IRS, BLM, and other agencies.

This one thinks that the child-king Obama is throwing a tantrum because Netenyahu appears to be more interested in defending Israel and its interests than in doing his – the child-king Obama’s – bidding. Poor thing. The child-king Obama must think that he, the Nobel Peace Prize awardee, isn’t getting the respect that he thinks the world owes him.

– Senate Democrats seemed intent on releasing that report “documenting” that the U.S. used interrogation methods that are severe torture (death metal music and sleep deprivation). This one thinks that Democrats tried, but were unable, to find evidence of bamboo splinters under fingernails, or electric shock applied to the ■■■■■■■■ or ■■■■■■■■, or the amputation of appendages, or blindings, or burning with hot irons.

Democrats claim that such treatment did nothing to extract actionable intelligence from our enemies. Those at the CIA who were directly involved with those methods disagree. Many have already testified in Congress that Usâma bin-Lâdin was located through information gleaned from those methods. Many of those who underwent such “torture” are either serving time in prison, awaiting trial, or have been released so they can return to the battle against America. Even John Kerry has mused whether releasing this report would increase the danger to Americans overseas and make our dwindling list of allies shrink even further.

There is only one reason for releasing this report, and it isn’t to “show the world how truthful and respectful of humanity we are”. Indeed, some things are often better left unsaid, a lesson that Democrats, liberals, progressives, and some MIT professors have never learned.

– (At least) two universities have now taken “feel-good” grading to a new level by telling students that their “consciencious objections” to the Brown and Garner situations is sufficient cause for them to skip final exams. Those poor law school students! One can only imagine the terror they will feel, and the horrors they will undergo when they must actually try a case in court and discuss what an accused rapist/murderer did to the deceased victim! The horror! The horror!

The other horror they’re about to undergo will be finding out that (a) they didn’t learn anything in “party school”, (b) they aren’t G-D’s greatest gift to the legal profession and aren’t worthy of a 6-figure starting salary, and (c) the public defender’s office has a very small budget and can’t pay for Kobi steak, sushi, and Absolut Crystal Vodka ($1000/bottle) 7 nights a week.

– Rolling Stone has forever demeaned the reputation of UVA, a fraternity, “greek life”, and itself by failing to exercise the first rule of good reporting: check your sources. Their belief in a “rape culture on campus” was the narrative the staff promoted, and a story that reinforced that narrative was just too good to be true. They licked their lips and published it without vetting it, knowing – knowing – it was true.

Unfortunately for them, the story was too good to be true: at the very least it was unverifiable, and is probably false from beginning to end. By trying to force an ideological viewpoint, the editors of the Rolling Stone have made it harder for those who actually are raped – a horrific crime – to be taken seriously.

This one hopes that all of the suspended fraternities at UVA and all of the UVA students whose lives have been disrupted come together and sue the pants off the Rolling Stone, its editors, its writers, the reporters involved. And then, that the all of the affected fraternities whose “Greek life” activities were injudiciously suspended turn their attention back to the UVA administration and sue them for their “guilty until proven innocent” attack.

Heads must roll – both at UVA and the Stone.

Well, only a couple of thoughts.

The document released by the Senate is a serious blow to American foreign policy. It may be one of the most bone-headed, ant-American ideas ever. Of course, the Czar has this nagging, persistent suspicion that the Democrats have come to believe they will lose the presidency in 2016. And they have decided to screw the next president. Badly. Why else would you release this now, of all times?

Interestingly, the press isn’t actually biting. Indeed, the main stream media is in a bit of a tantrum right now, following the President’s profanity-laced admonition last week. Didn’t hear about this? Well, it happened, and the word on the street is that they are ever so annoyed with President Obama scolding them that they have decided not to cover him on this one. In fact, an increasing number of reports are criticizing the report’s veracity.

One guesses if you’re going to put out an ill-conceived, barely factual, mostly fictitious load of crap, maybe giving it to the media the week after the Rolling Stone fiasco proved the media haven’t been doing their jobs was bad timing.

Speaking of which, no—heads will not roll at Rolling Stone. They will have learned nothing from this because they never have. Ask David Petraeus. A bunch of potheads doing responsible reporting? That doesn’t even occur at WaPo.

Lamenting the Future

GorT was at an event recently where the POTUS spoke.  The crowd was largely in their early 20s and lapped it up.  Sure, there is probably a large degree of star-struckness of being in the same room as the President but I think a fair amount of the supportive applause was true.

Item 1: Healthcare, Congress and Next Steps

The President admitted that now that the GOP controls both sides of Congress, they could pass legislation to repeal ACA.  He would veto it.  Plus, with a couple hundred thousand signing up last year, and over a million so far this year, it is growing in popularity and people love it.  GorT bit his tongue as this isn’t the issue for him, personally.  It’s the bigger and longer-term picture that I believe they are ignoring.  Many of the programs like ACA (think Social Security, etc.) weren’t designed nor adjusted as the demographics changed.  People are more healthy and living longer and therefore working longer than before.  Roughly 58% of the 2014 Federal Budget goes towards safety net and health-related programs.  Like the “Obamacare Architect” said, people have to ignore and “be stupid” about the facts and impacts of the program for it to have passed.  Maybe these kids don’t mind being called stupid.

Item 2:  Keystone Pipeline

While this isn’t word for word, the President said that it was Canadian oil being routed through the United States and sold on the world market.  It would only create a couple hundred jobs to start the construction and the oil wouldn’t affect gas prices here in the United States.  Clearly, this man doesn’t understand how gas prices are set which is troubling at the least.

Item 3: Immigration

The President touted that his “prosecutorial discretion” enforcement of current immigration laws is legal and with precedent.  He ignored the fact that he campaigned against such unilateral actions by the Executive Branch.  And the crowd cheered when he said that what makes us great is these immigrants.  Hold up.  America is great because of 11 million illegal immigrants?  How dare you, sir.  America is great for the people that follow the laws, work to better communities and our economy, and defend and protect this nation.  That is what makes us great.  It isn’t, in his words, the “best thing we’ve got going for us.”  And this kind of talk garnered cheers from this young crowd.

He went on to say that if the GOP wants to take action on this, pass a law.  I hope they do.  And fast.  And show the Democrats that progress can be made.  And force Obama’s hand.

I worry about the future when such tripe is believed as fact without question.  I hope these kids get better educations.