The Czar suspects it was a grease build up that caused the fire. The Czar killed the gas flow and used a fire extinguisher. After a thorough cleaning of the old grill, she worked a few more times and then just died. The damage was too severe.

That said, the Czar greatly looks forward to hands-on with the Volgi’s Weber. He has not yet cooked on a Weber gas grill, and understands it is like driving a Maserati: yeah, technically it is exactly the same as any other car…but there is something seductively different about it.

The Czar’s brood eats meat, and would not expect the Volgi to feed his minions like the Mandarin does. He will bring kilos of various meats to share so that the Volgi can concentrate on other matters. And he would be happy to do the cooking. And here is the recipe for corn:

– Take ten-to-twelve inch ears of Indiana sweet corn. It really makes a difference.

– Shuck it completely. No ears, no silks, no nothing.

– Soak the corn in cool or cold water for 30 minutes. Before you put the corn in, though, add about a half cup to full cup of sugar based on whether you are cooking a few cobs or a lot. Do not stir, do not cover…just let the corn float or sit in the pot of sweetened water as God intended when He made it.

– Light the grill for full temperature.

– Remove the corn in the water. Wrap a light layer of standard aluminum foil around each cob: just enough so you can easily peel it back to check on its progress as it cooks. Do not cocoon it in foil. And it matters not one whit whether you use shiny side out or shiny side in. The foil industry will tell you that the shiny side is no hotter or colder than the other side, and is a simple byproduct of manufacturing.

– Got the corn wrapped in light foil? Put them on the now pre-heated grill. Do not stack the cobs, but spread them out with about an inch in between each. This facilitates rolling them back and forth. Cover the grill. Do not lift the cover unless directed.

– Every 15-20 minutes, lift the cover and roll the corn halfway. After the corn has made a complete rotation (in about 30 minutes), peel the corner of the foil of one of the cobs at either the right side or left side of the grill. This is your coolest cob, temperature wise, and is a good indicator of the rest of the cobs. Recover the cob with the foil…

– …Until the corn turns a furious golden yellow. You will know the exact color when you see it. Each kernal looks like a gem. You should expect this around 40-45 minutes through the cooking process. The Czar avoids getting the burned-brown spots, and goes for perfect golden luminosity, but sometimes it cannot be helped.

– Remove the corn from the grill and turn off the burners (unless cooking other things). Leave the corn wrapped so that it continues to set inside the foil.

– Take a goodly amount of butter (or margarine if you are the Mandarin) and melt it over a low, open flame in a 9 x 12 dish or larger. The Czar likes the side burner of his grill for this.

– When the butter melts to clear liquid, liberally dust the bottom of the dish with garlic powder (not garlic salt!). You should see garlic particles suspended in the butter.

– Then, chuck a fair amount of sea salt into the butter so that it dissolves. You need to salt to taste here, so be careful with how much you throw in.

– Unpeel each cob, throwing out the foil. Roll the cob through the butter slurry and place it on the serving dish.

– Serve.

Basically, it comes down to soak, wrap, cook, and roll in butter, garlic, and sea salt. The Czar promises you will receive nothing but compliments.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.