We apologize. Not sure where everyone is… there’s lots of activity in and around the Castle, so I supposed it slipped everyone’s mind.
Any way, plenty of conspiracies to master mind, so we’d best get to it. Hint: you think Ellen DeGeneres replacement of Paula Abdul was a secret? What, may you ask, has any of that to do with Somalia and the final season of Monk? Well may you wonder. Well may you wonder.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.