Morning ‘Puter Takes on Morning Joe and the Media
‘Puter watches Morning Joe from time to time if only to see how far Joe Scarborough can sink. If one needed proof Progressivism is sexually transmissible, one need look no further than Scarborough post-ugly bumping with Mika Brzezinski, his cohostess, one-time adulterous slampiece, and now wife.*
This morning, Scarborough railed against Attorney General Secretary of State Mike Pompeo’s performance on FoxNews’ Sunday political talk show featuring Chris Wallace. Mr. Pompeo’s mortal sin? Daring to change the subject from Russian interference in the 2016 elections to the Mueller report, emphasizing no collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia.
Scarborough spent more than 10 minutes in a state of incredulous indignation, stating no one in America could possibly be dumb enough to believe Pompeo’s spin. The hired sycophants Steve Rattner, Mike Barnicle, and Tom “the Expert” Nichols dutifully nodded, tugging their beards and interjecting that yes, indeed, Right-leaning Americans are that dumb.
‘Puter shook his head sadly. The Morning Joe elites (our intellectual and moral betters) had missed the obvious. It is not necessarily that America’s Right and Right-leaning voters trust Pompeo (or, for that matter, Trump). It is that America’s Right and Right-leaning voters know to a moral certitude we cannot trust media.
Yes, Trump is unbelievable. America knew that when it elected Trump president. It’s baked into America’s conception of Trump the man and Trump the president. America expects Trump to lie, to lie frequently, and to not apologize or even acknowledging his obvious lies when called on them. America doesn’t care.
But America expects its media to tell the truth to the best of its ability, to get the story right, to be as neutral as possible. For too long, media has not been any of these things. Media abandoned reporting facts in favor of narrative creation, which based on media performance seems to mean “lie your face off in supine service of the Democrats.” Media has lied, spun, buried, and killed stories to protect Democrats and to unjustly smear Republicans. Media has squandered any claim to factual authority it may have had in favor of being Democrats’ booty call. The Right has not missed or misunderstood media’s undeclared war on the Right.
It’s not that Right-leaning Americans trust Trump, it’s that Right-leaning Americans do not, cannot, and must not trust media. The sooner media understands this, the sooner it can attempt to salvage what little dignity and authority which may remain.
‘Puter bets media won’t even make an attempt.
* ‘Puter’s had the notion to jot down some thoughts on examples of stupid things guys will do for tail, but since this is a family blog, he thought better of it.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.