Did you know that President Trump’s* first 100 days are nearly up? You must know that his 100 days are almost up. Everybody’s talking about his first 100 days, and surely by now you know that they’re almost over. Trump’s first 100 days, that is.

Okay, Mainstream Media, enough. Is there anything surrounding him that doesn’t turn into a psychotic obsession for you?

Long-time readers know the Czar equates the MSM to a fourteen-year-old pampered princess, and Trump’s First 100 Days is the latest thing she’s writing in her notebooks and circling, or drawing repeatedly on her bedroom door whiteboard. She falls backward onto her bed, phone to her ear, and breathlessly whispers, “Emily, what are you wearing to Trump’s First 100 Days?” even though Emily just said yesterday she wasn’t going.

As you also know, Donald Trump has said—repeatedly—that he doesn’t give two farts about this contrived milestone. Of course, the Czar suspects he really does, you know, because this is all a big fête in his honor. If things were going smashingly well, he’d be all over this, to the media’s chagrin; but even though things aren’t that bad, he’s downplaying its significance, which is okay with the Czar.

And why not? There’s a spate of articles trending on Google at this time of writing that compare Trump’s 100 days with previous presidents, relative to one metric or another, and guess what they all conclude? That the first 100 days is a totally meaningless, arbitrary measure that historically gives you no sense of the rest of that particular president’s terms.

Quelle surprise. The whole concept was developed by the FDR to control the media, as he at least understood how petty and gullible they are. And as shallow and historically uninteresting as the concept is, the media have steadfastly enforced it with every president because, if nothing else, many of them can count to 100.

Late last week, the Czar overhead a promo on a local television news broadcast, in which they—the local news channel which owns a helicopter and even has computer graphics-based character generation—was going to do their own assessment of Trump’s 100 days… evidently this would be different than the parent network’s own news team… although, the anchor** added, President Trump has dismissed this milestone as unimportant.

This annoyed the Czar, because the more honest promotions should run like this: “although the 100 days metric is absolutely meaningless, as the President said, we’re going to do one anyway.” It’s every bit as non-newsworthy as the Top 10 countdowns that start around December 15th. It’s nothing more than the MSM fondling itself before ripping into the yearbook committee for being such dorks about prom. Nothing more than shorthand for actual journalism; a two-slide Powerpoint training program for you, the viewer.

No, the Czar isn’t defending President Trump,* here. The First 100 Days was just as stupid when applied to President Obama, or either President Bush, or President Reagan, or any other American president. You could not look at President Obama’s first 100 days and conclude “My God, he’s actually going to screw up healthcare insurance!”*** In his first 100 days, President G.W. Bush was announcing he was staying out of nation-building and slowing down American foreign policy, even as Muslim infiltrators were taking lessons at a flight school. Reagan’s first 100 days saw the release of the American hostages in Iran, but also saw utterly dismal economic numbers. You could take any president’s first 100 days—the Bay of Pigs disaster was within Kennedy’s—and see that they predict nothing of value for anticipating the next 1,361 days.

Like Emily, we’re getting a little tired of the MSM going on and on… and on… and on… and on… about Trump’s First 100 Days. It matters only to you, MSM, not to us, not to the President, and not to history. And if your track record on such matters is anything to go by, we will spend the next 200 days correcting your analysis, anyway.

*Typing “President Trump” is like typing “President Pufnstuf. It’s just weird.

** A local news anchor is like the “anchor” guys make for their fishing dinghies by pouring cement into a coffee can and tying a nylon rope to it.

*** Don’t believe this? Read any of our posts on this site from January to April, 2009.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.