If anything was ever ripe for Gormogons takedown, it’s this Rachel Dolezal story. What a perfect blend of lunacy masquerading as social something or other. Look, Ms. Dolezal is either a liar at the end of the line or she has some curious mental issues. The Czar guesses the former, but accepts the latter is still much in play.
The more entertaining aspect to this story is how long she got away with it. Anyone looking at her photographin either guiseshakes their head in disbelief. What it all tells the Czar is that the NAACP and other race hucksters are so clueless on the subject of race that they can be hoodwinked by what seems to reasonable people to be an obvious fraud. The race communityand they are legionhave embarrassed themselves. Ms. Dolezal has revealed they have no clue what they’re talking about.
Meanwhile, that same community is making utterly futile attempts to explain this away. Ms. Dolezal, one approach goes, is proof that we are so color-blind in our own racial attitudes that we can be fooled. Good luck with that.
The Czar thinks the whole notion of clear distinctions between races went out in the 1960s as some social theory often cited but widely disregarded, like flying cars. So many millions of people are multiracial that the whole thought is stupid; Michael Jackson even wrote a song about it. So what the NAACP should have said is We don’t care, and never did, whether Ms. Dolezal is black; however, she lied to us repeatedly about the matter and we cannot accept that intensity of deception in our management. We have dismissed her. Done, because nobody cares except the Left (who are losing their minds over this story).
Adding confusion to the fraud v. illness balance is her insistence that she identifies as blacka clear sign that she’s aware of her fraud. Accuse a black person of being white, and he or she will likely laugh and ask what the hell you’re talking about; instead, Ms. Dolezal accepts the claim but insists there’s something to be said for your beliefs. Real people don’t talk that way because there’s no reason to.
But what about this self-identification? Operative BJ writes in:
|This lowly one approaches to ask whether he can change his identification. No, not his driver license identification, or his voter identification, or his Facebook identification, or his cell phone number.
I want to change my racial, religious, genetic, hereditary, ancestral, species, and lifeform identification.
Since birth, I have been an XY chromosome caucasian male of eastern-European descent (both sides of the family). However, I have been wondering whether that identification has imbued me with far too much “white privilege” which I have exercised by paying excessive taxes and receiving almost no benefits from UncleSam.gov.
So I come to you, not quite on bended knee, asking to change my identification to a rarely found species that might be able to gain special financial and medical benefits: that of a dark-skinned, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, half-African, trans-Toltec witch-doctor herbalist with Harvard law and medicine PhDs.
I’m tired of being treated as the 60+, slightly overweight, thin-haired and brown-eyed, nearsighted, caucasian male that I am. I don’t want to “present” exactly as I am. I want to be “present” as younger, smarter, and more capable than I am today, and I want the liberal media and progressive apologists to accept me that way – regardless of whether it is the truth.
But I’m having some trouble: which gender should I choose to identify as? I would identify as female, but Jenner and Cox have that one sewn up (so to speak). I would identify as male, but Beatie has that one under control – along with her children… uh, his children… uh…
Hence my confusion, and my offer to appear as a different species altogether. I was thinking about telling those aforementioned liberals/progressives that I “present” as a post-modification satyr or harpie, hence a non-human species that attained human appearance through surgical procedures and lots (and lots) of botox.
O Great Czar, what wisdom can you offer?
Plenty. Actually, the Czar is surprised Operative BJ doesn’t want to change his operative name, but yesthe Czar recommends you self-identify as an eagle.
As Operative BG explained in a brilliant essay, he realizes he is an American Bald Eagle – haliaeetus leucocephalus – mistakenly born into the body of a white man.
And this has real possibilities. For example, Federal Law allows eagles to do all sorts of things. Here are two:
- I may decide to use your roof, or your front porch, or your car, or your own person, as a toilet. You must not interfere with this behavior. You are welcome to use my leavings as organic sustenance for your flower beds.
- As a protected species, I can not be expected to observe the “No Trespassing” restrictions on your property, and I may decide to hunt small game or small children there. You should be grateful that I am doing my part to maintain the balance of nature.
Operative BG lists many more colorful things that he can do now that he has self-identified as an American bald eagle. Read all of them, and recognize that if Ms. Dolezal is black, then anything is possible.
And this is why the Left is going nuts over her: nobody has to do a goshdarned thing anymore for them.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.