Hack a Bunch of Hacks discusses the fact that all current government employees are security-compromised. Hence the government will have to hire all-new top-secret personnel who have never before worked for the federal government. If this describes you, you are eligible for a new, high-paying, high-security job. When you apply, you will be given a form to be filled out in order for your new employer to conduct a security check.
But do not be fooled. This request for information is your first test: If you give any information beyond your name and the town you live in (“name-and-town, name-and-town”), you will be insulting the team that investigates you, as if they require any more information than your name-and-town. This is Question 1 of the IQ test for all new high-security hires in the federal government. The correct answer is to not answer it (except name-and-town).
— Mark Spahn (West Seneca, NY) <– my name-and-town
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.