|“Boy, as a really, really observant Roman
Catholic, am I looking forward to meeting
Jesus. He’ll be so proud of me, increasing
the rights of His womyn creatures to
indiscriminately slaughter their young.”
‘Puter’s governor, the ever-delightful Andrew Cuomo, has come up with more feel-good legislation that proposes to end all discrimination against women by discriminating against everyone else. Gov. Cuomo thinks that so long as women are benefitted, you can disadvantage men, landlords, neighbors, ex-boyfriends, employers and co-workers, not to mention slaughter unborn children. The ends justify the means, after all.
‘Puter’s taken Gov. Cuomo’s press release on the Orwellian Women’s Equality Act, detailing his ten-point plan (Communists have at least a five-point plan handy for any occasion) and provided a brief explanation of teh stoopid inherent in the governor’s proposal. If you’ve got the stomach to digest even more of Gov. Cuomo’s horse manure, satisfy yourself at the governor’s website.
Achieve Pay Equity: The bill would finally shatter the glass ceiling by eliminating the ability of employers to point to “any other factor other than sex” to justify pay disparities and instead require that their pay decisions be based on legitimate reasons. In addition, the legislation would protect an employee’s right to share wage information with other employees without being retaliated against, and increase damages to successful plaintiffs in pay equity discrimination cases. Currently, in New York, women earn 84% of what men earn, and over a lifetime will earn $500,000 less than men. Jobs that are traditionally held by women pay significantly less than jobs predominately employing men. And, in New York, a woman working full time is paid, on average, $42,113 per year, while a man is paid $50,388 per year. In 2013, this is both inexcusable and absurd.
Study after study has shown that any pay disparity between women and men results from one of a handful of factors. Similarly aged and educated women earn less than men because they are less experienced, many taking time off to raise families. Women tend not to be as aggressive as men in negotiating pay packages, underestimating their value to their employers. Again, women who have the same education and experience as men are within a rounding error of equal pay already. Instead of applauding women’s advances in the employment arena, Gov. Cuomo decided to punish more experienced or better negotiating men. Further, Gov. Cuomo made it the employer’s burden to show some indeterminate level of proof that a woman is paid what she merits. Gov. Cuomo advocates that the only way to achieve equality among animals is to declare by legislative fiat some animals more equal than others.
Stop Sexual Harassment in All Workplaces: The new law would ban sexual harassment in every workplace, regardless of the number of employees, so all workers are protected. Currently, New York State law only prohibits sexual harassment in workplaces with four or more employees. In 2011, women accounted for 75% of all sexual harassment complaints filed with the NYS Division of Human Rights and 83% of those filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. Over 60% of New York State employers have less than four employees.
Let ‘Puter start by saying “duh.” Women will likely always account for a greater portion of sexual harassment complaints because (1) they are more likely to be the less powerful person in any given situation and (2) men are pigs. That fact, in and of itself, is not a reason for going after New York employers with fewer than four employees.
Sexual harassment is also compensable through a tort claim. By subjecting extremely small businesses to the vagaries of New York’s administrative law process, Gov. Cuomo proposes to give women the power to crater a small business by leveling a fraudulent claim, since most small business are break even at best. Is Gov. Cuomo going to have the state reimburse wrongly accused and now bankrupt businesses when the claims turn out to be false?
Remove Barriers to Remedying Discrimination: The legislation would allow successful plaintiffs to recover attorney’s fees in employment or credit discrimination cases based on sex. This will enable victims, most of whom are women, to have the opportunity to vindicate their rights and be made whole in cases where they prevail. Currently, plaintiffs cannot recover attorney fees at trial for employment discrimination cases, making it costly to bring a case. Approximately 77% of sex based employment discrimination cases filed with New York State are filed by women.
This has absolutely nothing to do with bettering women’s lives. This is a sop to plaintiff’s attorneys in general and the class action bar specifically. If attorney’s fees are recoverable as a separate expense, the number of sex discrimination claims will rise exponentially in New York. It will clog the courts and not significantly affect women’s ability to redress the wrongs visited on them. Think about it. If current contingency fee arrangements (or hourly fee arrangements) were inadequate to entice lawyers to take sex discrimination cases, there’d be no sex discrimination cases in state courts. We all know that’s not the case. Gov. Cuomo is paying off the second most powerful group in New York politics (behind the public sector unions): lawyers.
End Family Status Discrimination: The bill would prohibit employers from denying work or promotions to workers simply because they have children. By enacting this legislation, New York would be just the 5th state in the nation in protecting against family status discrimination. Currently, New York State law only prohibits discrimination based on “familial status” in areas of housing and credit. Discrimination on the basis of family status adversely affects women with children, particularly women in poor or low income households.
‘Puter was unaware there was an epidemic of employers denying work or promotions to women solely on the basis of their procreative status. ‘Puter’s assuming by the governor’s use of the word “workers” this new cause of action would apply equally to men denied work or promotions for knocking up their wives, not that it makes the proposal more palatable. So ‘Puter now has to think twice before passing over the woman who runs her kid’s Girl Scout cookie sales from her desk during work hours and who bails out early to make deliveries (‘Puter actually has such an employee) in favor of the man (or woman) who’s sitting at his desk for the entire day, working on company business the whole time? Gee, thanks, Gov. Cuomo. ‘Puter’s too stupid to make appropriate and nondiscriminatory business decisions for himself. ‘Puter’s glad you’re assuming that he’s the asshat, rather than the actual asshat employee.
If we’re truly to do something about the inequality experienced by women, ‘Puter invites Gov. Cuomo to enact ‘Puter’s Single and Married Women and Men Without Kids Who Work Way More Than That Baby Machine In Sector 7-D For The Or Lower Same Crappy Pay Act of 2013. ‘Puter feels your pain, childless folks. Why should you bear the brunt of Gov. Cuomo’s ill-advised legislation to benefit those women who already get the advantage of ducking out early and sneaking in late, blaming a mythological sick kid for her lateness? Stand up for your rights! Let Gov. Cuomo know you’ve had enough!
Stop Housing Discrimination for Victims of Domestic Violence: The new law would prohibit landlords from discriminating against victims of domestic violence. Under the current state law, victims of domestic violence are not protected from discrimination in housing, allowing landlords to reject those most in need of housing. Discrimination against victims of domestic violence is almost always discrimination against women since 85% of domestic violence victims are women.
Let’s consider a hypothetical, shall we? Mary is a victim of domestic violence at the hands of John, the father of one of Mary’s five children and Mary’s current live in slam-piece. John is an angry man who enjoys selling drugs to schoolchildren. John has been known to brandish his illegal handgun from time to time, and has spent time Upstate for several violent felonies. John has threatened to kill Mary and anyone else who gets between John and Mary. You are the landlord of a ten unit apartment building currently mostly filled with quiet retirees, singles and families. Mary comes to rent your apartment and tells you her entire story, including the fact that John may drop by to shoot the place up, so she’d really appreciate you not putting her name on the mailbox or directory. Now you are required to endanger your current tenants, setting yourself up for enormous potential liability should John show up and shoot a tenant or two, because law requires you to disregard a known risk of potentially great bodily harm for your tenants. But Gov. Cuomo believes it’s more important that he feel good about himself (“Hey, lookit me! I help battered women!”) even if his warm fuzzies are purchased at the price of endangering others, both physically and fiscally.
Stop Source-of-Income Discrimination: This legislation would prohibit landlords from discriminating against tenants based on lawful source of income, and therefore maximizes a family’s ability to secure safe and decent housing. Since women account for 76% of all housing choice voucher recipients, including Section 8 vouchers, many of the landlords who refuse to rent to recipients of Section 8 or other public housing assistance recipients are discriminating against women.
Puter would like to call your attention to Gov. Cuomo’s contention that welfare payments are income. Bullshit. If Section 8 vouchers were taxable, fine. Have at it. But welfare payments aren’t taxable. It’s insulting to those of us who actually pay taxes, a not insignificant portion of which go to helping those who are able, but unwilling, to help themselves to be told by our governor that money paid out to recipients simply for existing is income. Go to Hell, Gov. Cuomo.
Would you like an example of why disparate impact analysis in discrimination cases is an absolute nightmare? Well, boys and girls, look no further! You see, women are disproportionately welfare recipients. For some crazy reason, like the fact that most lifelong welfare recipients make horrible, very bad, no good life decisions to the point they’ve become wards of the state (e.g., smoking crack, turning tricks, spitting out six kids by five different men), landlords don’t like to rent their properties to them. Yet, because most welfare recipients are women, landlords are now forced to rent to unfit tenants. Perhaps Gov. Cuomo would like to let out one of his many spare bedrooms to a welfare recipient. ‘Puter’s sure that he’d be just ducky with the late night, post-closing time shouting fests when Wilhelmina and one of her myriad baby daddies get in a drunkenly and incoherently ramble on in their native Esperanto. Jackass. ‘Puter thinks landlords don’t care to whom they rent, so long as the tenant timely pays rent, lives quietly for the duration of his lease and leaves without a fuss at the end. Landlords don’t like to rent to welfare recipients not because they hate women, but because welfare recipients are on the whole an absolute nightmare as tenants. Welfare recipients frequently destroy their housing, engage in criminal activity, use drugs, and, because they don’t work, loiter, thereby attracting more trouble to landlords’ property. Last ‘Puter checked, it’s not illegal to discriminate against destructive assholes. If it were, ‘Puter’d be imprisoned for refusing to vote for Gov. Cuomo, one of the most destructive assholes of all time.
Protect Victims of Domestic Violence by Strengthening Order-of-Protection Laws: The legislation creates a pilot program to allow domestic violence victims to seek temporary orders of protection through electronic means rather than having to appear in person. In addition, this bill would ensure that orders of protection are translated, when needed, and makes clear that a victim of domestic violence who has an order of protection against her abuser cannot be accused of violating her own order of protection. Currently, domestic violence victims face too many obstacles in securing much needed protection from their abusers. This bill would remove many of those obstacles, and ensure that domestic violence victims get the protection they need.
What could possibly go wrong when a complainant doesn’t have to appear before a judicial officer to explain precisely why she requires an order of protection against her live in slam piece? ‘Puter’s not a bright guy, but women have been known to be vindictive against lovers who jilted them, even to the point of making false criminal allegations against their exes who finally wised up and moved on. If crazies will make these false allegations in front of a judge, just imagine how many more false accusations will be made when “victims” can essentially mail in their allegations and receive an order of protection with little to no effort or risk on their part. It’s not like men subject to orders of protection are routinely fired from jobs in law enforcement, or lose security clearances, or are subject to scandal. But the victims of Gov. Cuomo’s new laws will be men, so who cares, right, governor?
Strengthen Human Trafficking Laws: This legislation would strengthen New York’s existing human trafficking laws. It would, in part, eliminate the requirement that “coercion” be proven in a sex trafficking prosecution when the victims of sex trafficking are minors. In addition, the bill would increase the penalties for trafficking and create an affirmative defense in prostitution prosecutions if the defendant was herself a sex trafficking victim. This bill seeks to address the massive underground trafficking industry by holding traffickers accountable, making prosecution and enforcement more effective, and giving greater protections to victims.
Let’s assume for the moment that New York actually has a massive underground sex trafficking problem. If that’s the case, there’s way more wrong with New York than tinkering around the edges of a few outdated laws is going to fix. Let’s also recognize that sex trafficking is already illegal in New York, so a lack of successful prosecutions is more likely attributable to poor law enforcement and prosecution than to poorly written laws. Anecdotally, ‘Puter’s lived in New York for over 15 years now, and he can’t recall even a single prosecution of sex trafficking in Rochester, one of the five largest cities in New York. Gov. Cuomo, thank you very much for solving a problem than never existed. More laws is just what New York needs to push it over the top!
Stop Pregnancy Discrimination Once and For All: The legislation would create a specific protection that requires employers to provide reasonable accommodations for pregnant employees. The current protections for working, pregnant women are confusing and have been misinterpreted. Some pregnancies can result in medical conditions requiring reasonable accommodations in the workplace.
This is a perfect lead in to Gov. Cuomo’s “Infanticide on Demand Act,” immediately below. If the state wants to normalize crushing the head of a third trimester baby in utero, dicing the baby up, then sucking it out of its “mother,” what better way to do so than to recognize pregnancy as a medical malady? You see, pregnant women aren’t carrying babies, they have a parasite that sometimes causes the “mothers” to become sick. And when a parasite causes a person to be sick, it’s OK for doctors to kill the parasite, right? This tenet, and the following one, are indicators that New York may be too far gone to save.
Protect a Woman’s Freedom of Choice: This bill would codify existing Supreme Court law to protect a woman’s right to obtain an abortion prior to viability, or when necessary to protect her life or health. The law will ensure that New York’s laws are consistent with the law of the land. Currently, New York State’s law that protects a women’s freedom of choice is outdated and does not conform to protections outlined in Roe v. Wade and current state practice.
In a word, horseshit. New York already has some of the most aggressively pro-abortion laws (and voters) in the country. If the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wadetomorrow, there is absolutely zero chance that New York wouldn’t keep abortion unsafe, legal and shockingly common, just as it is now. Even assuming New York needed to codify Roe v. Wade, Gov. Cuomo’s “Slaughter of the Innocents Act” does no such thing. Gov. Cuomo seeks to cement the right of New York’s women to slaughter their children at any time, for any reason or no reason at all, from the moment of conception up to the moment the child is born. In an irony not lost on ‘Puter, the governor’s would permit the abortionist to induce labor in the aborting woman in order that killing the unborn child will be easier for the doctor to accomplish.
And, not for nothing you nihilistic, nominally Catholic turd burglar, you might as well call this provision the “Cuomo Legalized Infanticide Act.” ‘Puter hopes your name will be forever attached to this shameful piece of legislation.
In closing, ‘Puter notes Gov. Cuomo is so full of shit that even portable toilets at an all you can eat Ex-Lax-chili and Metamucil-sauerkraut festival for the clinically obese look on in disbelief, spattered lids agape.
Gov. Cuomo’s so-called Women’s Equality Act doesn’t advance women’s freedoms. Gov. Cuomo’s pet legislation does what he intends it to do: create sops for his voting blocs, continue liberalism’s marginalization of men and advance New York’s rampant culture of death.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.