Hey, lucky readers!
Know what can be even more fun than reading the Czar? Hearing a faithful reading of one his posts!
No doubt they are clearing their calendars to read all of our posts dating back to 1970. Mandarin is hopeful they read all of his posts this Friday from 1:30 to 1:37 PM. And let us hope their readings are not subject to FCC censorship, or ‘Puter’s posts will seem unnaturally short.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.