‘Puter was confronted with three stark examples of how liberal Democrats are unable to even contemplate that their legislation may have unexpected deleterious consequences.

Exhibit 1, Dodd-Frank Financial Reform. A Democrat controlled Congress unites to pass sweeping financial services regulation. The legislation limits the ability of lenders to hike rates on credit cards, and for banks to charge for overdraft protection. Credit card companies predictably respond by (1) tightening eligibility standards, stemming credit availability to the middle class and (2) increasing interest rates for everyone to cover unforeseen bad risks. Banks can’t recover adequate fees to compensate them for the risk of offering overdraft protect, which fees also subsidized free checking for most. Banks then predictably (1) stop offering overdraft protection and (2) eliminate free checking accounts.

And what happens when the predictable consequences of Congress’ ill-advised, poorly thought out legislation become apparent to the voters? Congress screams bloody murder about the insatiable thirst of the corporate banking demons for the hard won “rights” of the middle class to free everything. You see, it’s never Congress’ fault. It’s those greedy bankers!

Exhibit 2, Chuck Schumer demagogueing utility price increases. To be fair to Sen. Schumer, there is a modicum of sense to his position. In its latest rate filing, National Grid (an Upstate New York utility company) attempted to flow through to consumers ridiculous personal expenses of its relocating British executives. National Grid quickly rectified its “error,” removing $4 million in such expenses from its filing. Sen. Every Problem Can Be Solved With Federal Legislation Sponsored By Me And Hey Is That A Camera Get Out Of My Way (D-NY) wrote to the New York Public Service Commission asking that it completely halt its rate proceeding pending a thorough investigation of the entire filing. Sen. Pothole stated in a letter “it is inappropriate to consider imposing a $400 million rate increase on Upstate consumers when there are legitimate questions about the costs National Grid is seeking to have consumers cover.”

Oh. So let’s hold up a rate increase for an already heavily regulated utility when the utility has already pulled out of its request the questionable (alright, shady) costs which you’ve complained about. Gosh, the other 99% of the filed rate increase couldn’t possibly have anything to do with (1) paying workers, (2) improving service, (3) replacing aging lines, (4) [insert other obvious taxpayer/consumer/ratepayer benefits here]. This will certainly encourage utilities to modernize and hire almost as much as the mandated 10 year rate freeze the Public Service Commission imposed on National Grid’s competitor. One does not have to be omniscient to accurately predict that consumers will ultimately suffer for Sen. Schumer’s shortsighted demagoguery. Whether it’s future astronomical rate increases, or layoffs, or crappy service, Sen. Schumer’s current actions will be responsible.

Exhibit 3, Health Care Reform. Everyone’s getting free health care, free gas, and free housing! ‘Puter remembers the halcyon days of America’s PCP-induced infatuation with The One. Health care will be better. Health care will be free. Doctors will work more for less money out of the goodness of their hearts. Medical innovations won’t be halted if we remove the profit motive. Congress knows better than you stupid voters. Sign the bill to find out what’s in it. No need to read it. Why, health care reform will pay for itself, no matter what those trogolodytic teabaggers say!

Well, it turns out voters weren’t so stupid after all. Mandated coverages have started kicking in, and, predictably, insurers have begun dropping entire categories of affected policies because they are too expensive/risky to continue. Enter Ms. Sebelius. First, she threatened insurers with increased regulatory scrutiny for stating the truth: the mandates will cost more. Then, she blamed insurers and the market for the rate increases. It had absolutely nothing to do with the health care reform legislation passed. It’s those greedy, soul-sucking insurers! Blame them!

All of this is a long-winded way of saying all government actions, whether you agree with the act or not, necessarily distort free(ish) markets. Some distortions are for the better, some for the worse. We can disagree about which distortions are good and which are bad. But to pretend that negative consequences do not/will not happen is legislative malpractice. And for a politician to deny certain obvious bad outcomes were a direct result of his legislative acts indicates the politician is (1) stupid, (2) lying or (3) both.

Sorry for the rambling discourse, but there’s so much Congressional economic malpractice going on these days, ‘Puter simply needed to vent.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.