It is with a heavy heart that I wish to extend my apologies to our Gormogon operatives in Australia for the imminent iceberg collision with your fine continent.
This unfortunate situation is the result of Sleestak and Dat Ho playing grab-ass and knocking a glass of orange Fanta onto the targeting console of one of my various orbital toys. Rest assured they have both been repeatedly booted in the gut.
The management here at the castle is truly sorry for any inconvenience this collision may cause.
The Mandarin, whose real name is 吏恆, joined the order in 1309, and introduced the Gormogons into England during the 18th Century.
The Mandarin enjoys spending time with his pet manticore, Βάρἰκος, or Barry (who can be found in the Bestiary). When not in the Castle…well, frankly, nobody is quite sure where he goes.
The Mandarin popularized the fine art of “gut booting,” by which he delivers a powerful kick to the stomach of anyone that annoys him. Although nearly universal today, the act of gut booting or threatening someone or something with a gut boot is solely due to him.