The Czar had an idea. He was going to ask each of the principal contributors here to write about their individual recollections of the Fall of the Wall in 1989, you know, for a 20-year retrospective.

But he did not, for two very good reasons:

1. Hundreds of writers, journalists, bloggers, and opinionators are already doing exactly that, so it really cheapens the moment for the Czar.

2. When the Czar broached the idea to the Mandarin, it went badly. The Czar and the Mandarin, you see, were actually together at the same place at the same time on November 9, 1989. And the instant the Czar brought it up, the Mandarin corrected him as to the location, who else was there, what we were doing and why, and pretty much every other single detail.

So the Czar realized it would be difficult to write about his recollections of 1989 when evidently he has every single facet of it totally wrong.

Anyway, if you do not already understand how massively important and monumental a day that was and why, the Czar can pretty much guess for whom you voted last time around.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.