SoS Clinton is fuming mad! Those “friends we haven’t met yet,” Iran and North Korea, are going to be sorry if they continue on the road to nuclear weapons. Really sorry. Why, she’s so mad, she’s not even sure what she&#146ll do, she’s so mad.

Actually, the BBC said they will face severe consequences. Her actual comments said even less than that. Maybe she should remind them of what could happen when their father gets home.

The Czar is reminded of watching dork parents. You know these kind of parents? They show up at public venues, let their 2.3 kids run rampant all over the place, but offer only the mildest of behavioral suggestions to their wolverines because they have no idea how to discipline them. “Now, Declan, climb down off the light standard. Listen, Declan, you’re pouring pudding all over that nice lady’s hair. I mean it. And Rebekkah, please stop dumping sand into that nice man’s soda. What if he wants to finish it? I mean it. If you stop, we’ll let you have ice cream. Declan!”

Morons, you think. The kids are in charge, fools. And by wheedling and negotiating, you put them in control and give them attention at the same time. All you are are whores who drive them to their next act of public aggression and have money. This is a win-win for them, because on top of the rewarding attention, they know you’ll cave and give them all ice cream anyway.

Or to put it another way: “We have made it very clear to Rebekkah that if she will agree to irreversible non-soda-sanding, your mother as well as your father will move forward on a package of incentives and opportunities including normalizing relations.”

If that does not sound familiar, allow the Czar to rephrase it yet again: “We have made it very clear to the North Koreans that if they will agree to irreversible denuclearisation, the United States as well as our partners will move forward on a package of incentives and opportunities including normalizing relations.” That’s a quote from SoS Clinton. Sound familiar?

The Czar has realized that Democratic foreign policy time and again consists of acting like New Age dork parents to bratty children. Treat them like sympathetic and reasonable adults, and just sit there hoping that your words are enough for their imaginations to envision “consequences.” The better strategic analog is that bad nations should be treated like heavily armed lunatics holding people hostage in a bank. You cannot plead and beg for their cooperation. Negotiation is fine to a point, but once the hostage taker escalates his aggression, you need to stop negotiations and cut the power. Remind them that you are in charge, and that further discussions will resume when they show understanding there are rules in play. If there are no signs of understanding, what do you do? Well, what do the police do when they want innocent people to come out alive?

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.