2018 World Cup Update
The first set of games have concluded in the three-game pool play portion of the tournament. As posted in the Rumpus Room of the Castle – here are the current standings:
#1 Dr. J | 7 points | With Croatia, France, and Uruguay on his squad, Dr. J will be a formiddable player in this contest. But he doesn’t really care and it’s lost on him. So maybe his winnings will fund a replacement microwave after what Mandy cooked in it last night. |
#2 GorT | 6 points | Surprisingly, only England and Serbia netted GorT wins but the draws by Argentina and Brazil kept him afloat. GorT is currently time traveling back to the drawing for the pool to see what went wrong. |
#3 The Mandarin | 5 points | Russia and Belgium’s wins plus Portugal’s tie put Mandy in 3rd place. No one has seen him recently, so we’re not sure he knows the World Cup is taking place. |
#3 Volgi | 5 points | Volgi is also in third place with Japan and Denmark carrying the bulk of the load. 私はこれを楽しむわからないんだけど – Volgi |
#3 ‘Puter | 5 points | Mexico beating Germany really helped ‘Puter. He probably should be tied with GorT but Spain couldn’t pull out the win. Suck It, Czar |
#6 Czar | 4 points | Maybe not a surprise, the Czar is dead last in the World Cup pool. Iran and Sweden kept him above the Castle servants. I STILL don’t know why we’re doing this. |
#7 Dat Ho | 0 points | Egypt isn’t going to get Dat Ho anywhere in this league |
#7 Sleestak | 0 points | Having Germany in your World Cup pool should help, but with their opening loss to Mexico, Sleestak stays at the bottom. |
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.