Here’s the Czar’s spoiler-free review of Infinity War:
- It has a lot of very expensive actors in it.
- There are special effects.
- Lots of stuff gets resolved from earlier movies.
- Other stuff not as much.
- There are plenty of familiar characters.
- There are new characters.
- Stay until the very end of the credits.
- Stan Lee has a cameo.
That is all. The rest would be spoiling it for you.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.