Freaky Things
The Czar has noticed that whenever he writes about North Korea, he tends to get thoughtful mail.
| Ваше Императорское Величество, Your post today brought something to my memory from when I was a lowly Lance Corporal back in the early 1990’s. I was stationed in Japan with a Logistics Squadron when the Norks started playing around with nuclear reactors. Clinton had sent Jimmy Carter to negotiate that famous agreement where we would ship them food and let them keep the reactors if they promised to be nice and let us inspect. You know the typical symbolism over substance thing that Clinton loved to do. Anyway while all of this was playing out I got sent with one of the Staff Sergeants to our squadron headquarters for a planning meeting. The strange thing was that I was the lowest ranking person there after the Staff Sergeant everyone else was officers and senior non coms. The meeting was about supporting air operations over Korea if the diplomatic solution went sideways. This was a freaky thing for a 20 year old Marine to actually have to sit through while all these folks (most of who went through the recent Desert Storm) with shiny stuff on their collars go over readiness plans to fight a war. We were told to plan for 30 days of continuous operation. 30 days! The consensus was that after 30 days it would be over with one way or the other. Remember this was 1994, just after the cold war when they would still have whatever was left from that and we were planning for 30 days to send them back to whatever is beyond the stone age. So I think your 20-30 minute suggestion is spot on after 23 years that North Korea has had to rust and fall apart. Drop a few MOABs on the DMZ to clear out all the barbed wire, mines and towers and you could roll across the border. I am not in a rush to go to war either. Many accuse me of being pro-war when I am really pro-blowing stuff up. In this case I do not think that anyone will miss North Korea. Loyalty until death, Derek the Last |
Thanks, Derek, although the Czar makes no personal claim that taking out nearly all of North Korea’s command structure will take 20-30 minutes…this was a comment said to him right about the same time you were in your meeting.
Personally, the Czar doubts North Korea would be a cakewalk. It is true that their senior-most military leaders were boys when Kim Il-Sung invaded the South, and have zero actual battle experience. And it is true that their equipment is functionally unchanged since—at best—the 1960s. But the North Koreans have stuff hidden away in caves everywhere, any of which could deliver a deadly attack on Korean civilians: you could have thousands of dead in minutes.
However, we are also reminded of similar statements made in the late 1990s – early 2000s about Saddam Hussein. Remember that guy? He also had WMDs tucked into hiding places, and could deliver conventional but massive death to Israelis in minutes. What actually happened—and is more likely to happen to North Korea—is that the total collapse of the command structure rendered those hidden assets almost useless. Yes, the North Koreans could deploy missile launchers all over the border—but would they? Or would they be content to drop their rifles and surrender in exchange for a hot bath and a warm meal?
The Czar is not inclined to gamble, but is pleased that your assessment (your “freaky thing”) matches a lot of what the Czar understands to be correct.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.