The Czar presumes it’s too early to announce eight full years of Hillary Clinton’s oppression as president, but doesn’t see much alternative after this weekend. The Czar, unfortunately, was unable to see last night’s debate as he was attending a vigil for a little girl killed over the weekend by a drunk driver; the Czar knows her dad pretty well and felt this was far more important than a debate that will win over nobody. Plus, he also caught the Blue Jays/Rangers game which proved to be surprising.

The Czar has completely written off the idea of a Trump victory, and finds all counter-evidence either grasps at straws or some tough sophistry. Destiny has decided that the American people need a good freaking lesson, and we’re about to get one.

That started this weekend: the American people got to hear over and over again how Donald Trump is not presidential material. The Czar agrees, of course, but maintains we haven’t had an ideal president since Calvin Coolidge. Maybe Eisenhower. Even Reagan had his weaknesses when trusting Democrats.

So who is fit to be president? Based on the precedents of the Democrats, it’s interesting to note what a Republican president is allowed to do.

• You can of course use the IRS to harass if not destroy individuals or groups who aren’t in your party.
• Fast and Furious taught us a president may allow the deaths of Mexicans and Americans in order to gin up support for or against a political idea.
• You can start wars in more theaters than your predecessor, and drone people without due process. That’s handy.
• You can fly to an airport to meet with Department of Justice personnel in order to get investigations dropped against family members.
• You can totally lie about the aims of a government industry takeover, and then when it screws up exactly as predicted by your opponents, dismiss that criticism as anti-Americanism.
• When you screw the pooch on a major international event, you pick some random YouTube film maker and illegally arrest him for a long period of time, with no explanation, for something he did years earlier.
• Apparently, you can ignore government security classifications on emails because they’re inconvenient to your personal shopping staff.
• You can bypass Congress by self-funding government programs that carry out your political wishes. Self-funding is as easy as fining the crap out of businesses who don’t support your campaign for regulations you pass in secret.
• Don’t forget you can issue an executive order for anything you want, rescinding it only when the Supreme Court gets around to finding it unconstitutional; by then, the deed was done and you need merely dismiss the harm it caused as “old news.”
• You can, of course, select which laws you want to enforce. This could be really helpful: you could easily issue a look-the-other-way order for anyone failing to register a concealed handgun, sabotaging an abortion clinic, or paying a capital gains tax.

So we’ve seen the type of person the Democrats think is allowable as president, and quite frankly, we’re not sure this prevents Trump, some homeless guy, or a paranoid schizophrenic from being president. Or in Gary Johnson’s case, all three.

Don’t forget to vote in November!

Hey, what happens if we all write in Michael Pence?

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.