A couple of grabs from the mail bag today, and up first is Operative SMR, who used to write in quite a bit before he got bored with us:
|Dear The Czar,
Thank you for your encouraging alert on the changing tide of literary criticism. I find myself relatively unexposed to that field, but it seems that whenever I encounter it, I come away incensed with the intellectual laziness that fills it.
It ’s odd, the small things that irritate one. Abuse of sense and logic do it in every field of thought, but in literary criticism, it seems to strike me more deeply. I attribute that to the respect Br. Joel and my other English teachers earned at dear old Bishop Kelley. They, perhaps, set the bar too high by which I judge others. I felt a disproportionate sense of relief on reading your post.
At any rate, you have encouraged me and brightened my day, and I thank you.
Let ’s hope it works. The Czar fully expected Volgi to come stumbling down the castle stairs with his printed* copy of the post demanding to know where we thought two examples could ever hope to prove that literary criticism isn ’t the utter hole of leftist depravity we know it is. So far, that hasn ’t happened; however, the Czar is encouraged** to see so many commentators rip into millennial hacks. “Back in our day, whippersnappers, we had an actual man to fight. Throwing down against pajama boys? Please.” And some such.
* Scrivened, actually.
** Of course, it isn ’t the Czar ’s job to brighten anyone ’s day. And we only encourage you to toil harder.
Oh, here ’s one from JAB that went to ‘Puter and us, but of course writing to ‘Puter is a total waste of time. You want to chat with ‘Puter? Try Twitter—his attention span is long enough for 140 characters. But JAB ’s question below ran out ‘Puter ’s patience after the word
|Dear Misters Czar and ‘Puter:
First off, I apologize for selfishly imposing my retrograde gender binary salutation upon you Castle-Dwellers. For all I know, you two could be flouncing around down at the Leaping Peacock giving a whole new meaning to the song “Ladies Night.”
(By the way, are we absolutely sure “zhe” is not identifying more like a cockless “peahen”? Damn that cis-gendered bird.)
Unlike the peacocks and peahens of the world, our betters in the Obama administration understand that, as Mr. Puter so elegantly put it, “the enschlonged mentally ill” are completely interchangeable with those of us, as Ricky Bobby so elegantly put it, who have “mysterious lady parts.” All that’s required is for all us hicks-with-hang-ups [trademark pending!], to just get over it already.
As a community service to hicks-with-hang-ups [trademark pending!] everywhere, I’ve come up with a few pointers to help them on their way to a more enlightened state:
Modest proposal for the Departments of Education and Justice—y’all might want to apply the “Malia & Sasha” test to any future rules, threats, prosecutions, etc. You know, would POTUS & FLOTUS be happy with your rules being applied to their teen-aged daughters??? You know, are they totally cool with “the enschlonged mentally ill” dropping trou, and showering with the first daughters? And you want colleges and universities to refrain from asking about an applicant’s past dealings with criminal justice system? Fine by me, but only if Malia’s freshman roommate at Harvard is “justice-involved” person-with-penis. Hey, Obama family, lead by example!!!
JAB must not nearly be as surprised as she seems that much of leftist bandwagon jumping tends to result in unforeseen consequences and logical disconnects. Actually, now that the Czar thinks of it, most bandwagon jumping of any sort results in unforeseen consequences and logical disconnects. Take it from a Chicago sports fan.
’Puter is unavailable to comment, as he is too happy to see the words ‘penis, ’ ‘nekkid ’ and ‘scholong ’ in this post. GorT wasn’t mentioned, but he’s happy knowing the words ‘penis, ’ ‘nekkid ’ and ‘scholong ’ will drive up our traffic by 140%.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.