It's All Made Up - The Gormogons

The Czar is not posting a review of Saturday’s Republican debate as he did not see it. He was instead watching the Chicago Blackhawks trounce the Dallas Stars with the star of this video:

The video was premiered Saturday evening, and the Czar was delighted to have been invited to watch it with Ben, who was remarkably low-keyed about his new-found fame. This, to us, was way more important than Marco Rubio taking on Chris Christie.

On an unrelated note, Mark Spahn writes in to ask a really good question, which we have taken the liberty to edit.

Here’s a quote:

President Barack Obama said today in a speech at the Islamic Society of Baltimore that one fact that has not been “communicated on a regular basis through our media” is that “for more than a thousand years people have been drawn to Islam’s message of peace.”
“Whoever wants to enter paradise, the Prophet Mohammad taught, let him treat people the way he would love to be treated,” Obama said. “And for Christians like myself I am assuming that sounds familiar.”

Yes, it does sound familiar, as familiar as the Golden Rule. But I am sick and tired of these armchair imams who quote our favorite prophet without citing chapter and verse so that we can look up this quote in the Quran or Sunnah.

I have never heard of this quote. Where does it come from?

I have been trying for several days to find the source of this quote from the Prophet (pbuh), so far without success. Every online search for this quote leads only to President Obama’s recent speech in the late Anwar al-Awlaki’s mosque, not to the source where he (or his teleprompter writer) found this quote.

So, where does President Obama’s quote come from? From the Quran? From other Islamic literature (e.g., a Bukhari hadith)? Could it be that no such statement by the Prophet (pbuh) exists and that President Obama is simply mistaken? If so, we should tell him, lest this ignorant Christian spread further lies about Islam.

— Mark Spahn (West Seneca, NY)

Look, readers, it’s this simple: if Mark Spahn couldn’t find it, then it isn’t out there.

Sigh. Time for little Dat Ho to fire up the engines on the Czar’s iconoclast axe, which is an actual axe and does not feature engines. But it is designed to smash myths, which of course is figurative language for some serfs we don’t like. If you’ve lost track of what the Czar is saying here, he’s going to crush some skulls with an axe. See? It’s that easy to be plain-spoken.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.