Mitch writes in to point out that Czar’s memory is oftimes scratchy and clumped up in tufts like a shedding dog’s butt:
|You’ve got nine-tenths of a good argument there, but the red-and-blue Andrew’s Cross flag with the stars isn’t the Stars and Bars, it’s the Battle Flag of the ANV, which eventually became the basis for the second and third official flags of the Confederacy, none of which flies over the South Carolina capitol building these days. The Stars and Bars was the three-stripe with blue canton deal that you describe as looking like the Ohio state flag. The name sounds like it should describe the Confederate Battle Flag – the one that is today’s symbol of rebellion, racism, or heritage depending on your angle – so the mis-usage is damn near ubiquitous, but it’s still wrong.|
You are of course entirely correct, and the Czar regrets the error.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.