On Recent Events
Well, boys and girls, the Czar has been dealing with a stiff neck and a lot of stuff in and around Muscovy. He’s gotten some interesting mail, too, which sadly is still fit to place in the realm of recent events. The Czar knows you have spent a lot of time on your letters, but he’s had to really edit them to make them fit on the screen.
First up, we have the Retired Spook.
| Your Immensity; Couple of weeks ago, the Senior Minions (a pair of tomboyish 14-year-old girls) conned one of their moms into providing adult supervision while they went hunting. Seems that the father of two of their classmates committed suicide. Mom is struggling but money is really tight, and the kids, obviously, are having a very tough time. So the Minions have pretty much adopted this family, and are doing what they can to help out, when they can, where they can. For Christmas, they wanted to do a couple of food boxes, filled with seasonal-but-non-perishable things. They had the boxes pretty much together, but decided that a bit of fresh meat would be a great addition; however, with hamburger going for $3.00+ /pound, they didn’t think their allowance would cover very much. And they had already selected primary and secondary targets. First, if possible, would be a fat doe, or young buck. A second choice would be a middling feral hog. They have experience with both of these, and felt that they could handle it. Late that Saturday morning, they tag-teamed a fat dry doe, field dressed it themselves, and had it hauled to the local processor, where they laid out what they wanted done, and asked to pay for it up front. The butcher, an elderly Mennonite gentleman, said “As much meat as I’ve cut for you, you know you don’t pay until you pick it up.” Then they explained what they had in mind, and who was picking it up. He got a little choked up, and wrote “Already paid for” on the ticket. And on December 22nd, a widow with five kids picked up 102 lbs of venison that didn’t cost her a penny. I am so very proud of my Senior Minions!!!! This was my best Christmas ever, Happy New Year, Retired Spook |
This is great news, and you ought to be proud. The Czar was delighted with this story, and has the deepest respect for the girls and their superior selflessness. The Czar wishes to remind you, of course, that next Christmas will be even better. You you’d best be ready for it.
Sigh. If only ‘Puter could be more like those 14-year-old girls, but then that probably isn’t possible.
Next up, JAB writes in on the Charlie Hebdo slaughter.
| And for such pitiful, poor “cartoons” as these, ignorant adherents of the-faith-that-must-not be-offended murdered over 12 people. One wonders what the body count might have been, had the offending cartoons actually been ….even somewhat offensive….. And another thing…all these media outlets referring to the “offended” one as “the prophet.” Know what? Not my prophet. With prayers for the families of the dead, Sadly, |
The Czar was also sorry to see that media has now begun to make this a story about themselves. First, how brave they all are for defending the freedom of speech the way they do. Then, for pointing out how many of their peers have censored the covers of the magazine in their coverage.
What a crock. Look, here’s what the Czar doesn’t get. A newspaper or online publication covers the story, and attaches a photograph of someone bravely reading the Charlie Hebdo magazine in question. And the cover is blurred out, because as you say, we don’t risk offending the fellaters of Islam by showing the uncensored cover, but they then proceed to condemn anyone who censors the cover.
Suggestion from the Czar: rather than look like hypocrites, act like weasels: print a photograph of the offices of the building. Or the Paris skyline. Or a freaking tree. Why bother with the nonsense of showing someone reading the magazine but then contradict your bravery by censoring out the cover?
The media only see what they spy in the background of their own gazing mirror.
Operative BJ has some thoughts on this:
| Oh Mighty Czar, The freedom to express yourself lies at the heart of free society. Charlie Hebdo was practicing the highest form of free speech – political opinion – and was using a form of artwork – satirical cartoons – to express that opinion. It is one thing to yell “fire” in a crowded theater, where some people could get seriously hurt in the ensuing panic to escape. That’s not “free speech”. Such speech is solely meant to inspire fear, and is almost always practiced in a location where that fear can be maximized into blind terror. That’s why we have laws to prevent just such an outburst. It is quite another to publish a cartoon in a newspaper, regardless of the subject and regardless of whether the cartoon is “in good taste” or not. That form of “free speech” is harmless: who is placed in physical danger (except for a paper cut) when reading a newspaper? Escaping that exercise of free speech is as simple as putting the paper into the trash. The Muslim terrorist thugs who attacked the offices of Charlie Hebdo have thrown down yet another gauntlet. They challenged the right of free-thinking individuals to express their thoughts openly. They openly shouted their allegiance to Al Qaeda, and claimed they murdered 12 people as a way to revenge the reputation of a “prophet” (who was actually a warlord, but that’s a discussion for another time). This challenge must be answered in the only way possible: for publications around the world to open their pages and publish the exact same cartoons that Charlie Hebdo was publishing, and to say to Muslim extremists that freedom of expression cannot be silenced. One thing remains clear, however: Islamic extremism, unlike almost all other forms of religious extremism, usually results in the Islamic extremist attacking an innocent individual. Islamic terrorists appear to enjoy causing collateral damage and killing “unbelievers”. And Islamic leaders use the “fatwa” as a way to incite others to murder. Hence, Islam is at war with anyone who does not bow to Islamic law. To be sure, a religion based on the teachings of a warlord could never result in love. |
Exactly. But let us remember that Charlie Hebdo, while a publication that should by all rights be free to publish whatever it wishes, is not a newspaper. It’s more of a satirical rag, like a combination of the Onion and South Park, mixed with Punch or Mad. Makes no difference to your points, of course, but if anything it should be more open and relaxed than a newspaper which has the task of increasing readership rather than alienating potential new customers.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.