‘Puter’s watched in recent weeks as Democrats repeat falsehoods as truths.

‘Puter’s not sure if Democrats even realize they’re doing it. Democrats may be in denial after their recent midterm drubbing, repeating cherished falsehoods incessantly in a vain attempt to make their Utopian fantasies reality.

Or Democrats simply think Americans are profoundly stupid, unable to analyze the world for themselves, willing to believe the stream of effluvium gushing from Democrats’ mouths.

Likely, it’s some combination of these two possibilities.

Since ‘Puter’s a helpful sort, he’s compiled a list of truths, talking points if you will, to assist reality-challenged Democrats.

• Israel is our ally. Palestinians are our enemy. It’s that simple. Repeat it until you believe it.
• Sen. Pocahontas Warren’s (D-MA) opposition to the current continuing resolution spending bill is exactly the same level of quixotic asshattery to which Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) treated Americans (and his party) last Fall. Media won’t report it as such because Sen. Warren’s a screamingly hard Left Democrat, like most in the media.
• ObamaCare required Democrats to lie repeatedly to secure passage. Americans can’t keep their insurance plans. Americans can’t keep their doctors. Insurance costs are rising. ObamaCare policies are less comprehensive and more costly than prior high deductible policies. Quality of care hasn’t improved. Medicare’s robbed to pay for ObamaCare. Many Americans can’t afford their new policies.
• Democrat district attorneys in two cases (Michael Brown and Eric Garner) gamed the grand jury process to avoid making difficult prosecutorial decisions themselves, to avoid indicting cops or both. These unusual “cover cops’ asses” tactics led to national demonstrations and violence, some of which continue today. Americans can cope peacefully with wrongheaded decisions (see, e.g., the O.J. Simpson acquittal). Americans will not tolerate government rigging the judicial system to protect itself and cops.
• You are not a “protestor” if your “protest” involves assault, arson, robbery and discharging firearms. You are a criminal and a rioter. Police are justified in using deadly force if necessary to restore order.
• The economy, not immigration, is America’s largest concern. Americans care about immigration because non-enforcement of its governing laws indicates the lawlessness of the current administration and politicians generally. Additionally, Americans know that granting amnesty to 11 million or more illegal immigrants will further damage legal Americans ability to get a hold jobs.
• Gruber told the truth about ObamaCare when he thought no one was paying attention. In front of the House Oversight Committee, Gruber lied through his teeth.
• The CIA’s enhanced interrogation techniques are not torture. The president, government lawyers and Congress all signed off on the legality of and use of EITs on high value targets. Further, despite Sen. Dianne Feinstein’s (D-CA) hatchet job of a report, EITs resulted in actionable intelligence enabling American intelligence (with help from allies) to disrupt and kill al Qaeda operatives worldwide. Last, the alleged torture programs Sen. Feinstein’s politically motivated report decries ceased in the early 2000s. Notably, Sen. Feinstein’s screed makes no mention of any military interrogation programs, just the CIA’s, further diminishing its credibility.
• Even torture is defensible provided certain preconditions are met. Torture does not kill a person. At least that’s not torture’s objective. If a person is legally permitted to kill another in self-defense, then surely a nation’s intelligence apparatus is permitted to torture individuals to ensure great harm doesn’t befall a nation of people. Pretending otherwise is moralistic preening. And if our Democrat betters truly believe torture is never permissible, they have no business being an elected official.
• There is no such thing as “rape culture,” and feminism is nothing more than bullying, shrill, Marxist harpies attempting to control American culture. Feminism’s a power play, plain and simple. It’s an irrational, irreconcilable pastiche of discredited horseshit philosophy. Worst, it’s destroying American values. From GamerGate to Rolling Stone’s too-good-to-check “Jackie” story, feminism destroys everything it touches.
• Only “journalists” and denizens of university faculty lounges think Sen. Wilma Mankiller Warren (D-MA) is a dream candidate. Trust ‘Puter, no one except the Democrat base wants to elect a president who thinks the way to prosperity is to hamstring the economy and redistribute wealth. America’s done that twice now in 2004 and 2008, and we seem to have finally learned our lesson.
• Obama is a horrible president, and history will not be kind to him. Obama’s presided over a stagnant economy. He’s expanded America’s targeted drone assassination program. Obama’s ignored Constitutional restrictions on presidential authority. His signature legislation is a train wreck which will fail because it’s too costly, it doesn’t work, it’s unconstitutional or all of the above. Obama will be remembered as America’s first Black president, but also as a cautionary tale on electing a person solely because of his race. Or gender.
• Hillary Clinton’s not an invincible presidential candidate. She may walk off with the Democrat nomination, but Mrs. Clinton will have great difficulty in a general election campaign. She will be forced to answer questions on Benghazi. She will be forced to relive Bill’s sexual infidelity. She will be questioned on her age and health. She will have to answer questions on her 1994 flirtation with secretly installing single payer health care in America. Mrs. Clinton’s closet is a veritable ossuary-filled catacomb full of decades’ worth of scandals, provided the media does its job which is not a given.

‘Puter’d like to acquaint Democrats with more truths, but he’s afraid their small, closed minds would have difficulty with the cognitive dissonance. ‘Puter will revisit the subject as circumstances warrant.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.