Hi, I’m William Devane. Years ago the Czar told me to invest in land. Well, I did…and I did very well. But now it’s time to buy Gormogon Gold. So much financial craziness in the world today – governments trying to print their way out of money problems. I feel so much more comfortable knowing that I own gold. And you can’t print gold…well, except for the Mandarin. I just like to feel of gold and I buy mine from ‘Puter’s Gold Emporium and Spa because I trust him. No zero or 1% over cost gimmicks. ‘Puter lays on the full 18.45% over cost gimmick. ‘Puter and the Gormogons will beat any price, on any coin, at any time. Just call them. I think Dr. J is answering the phones this week. And ‘Puter’s Gold Emporium and Spa ships them in a month or two…most of the time. More mediocre than anyone else. So protect yourself form the problems in the world and read more of the Gormogons….and but some of their gold….that they might ship. Invest in your stability now…before the Volgi goes nuts and reads the riot act to you in fourteen languages.
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.