The President sure doesnt know about a lot of things. Seems like every day, he learns about something his closest advisers did while he was on the golf course. What a terrible burden to be President, if nobody tells you what your job is every ten minutes. The Czar feels bad for him, because the way things look, the average person might consider Obama as dopey and ill-informed as he claimed George W. Bush was.
So to help the President, we put together a little guide for him.
A is for the AP reporters, whose phones and emails you hacked.
B is for Benghazi, where our ambassador was killed when attacked.
C is for CBS, whose computer data on Libya one day was gone.
D is for DisneyWorld,where Veterans Affairs partied till dawn.
E is for Eric Holder, who to Congress the truth he denied.
F is for Fast & Furious, where Americans and Mexicans died.
G is for General Petraeus, who was unfairly given the boot.
H is for Healthcare.gov, which for millions still wont compute.
I is for IRS, who thinks the Tea Party offends.
J is for Justice, who thinks the Black Panthers are friends.
K is for Killing the character of loyal servant Greg Hicks.
L is for Lisa Jackson, who pretends shes Dick Windsor for kicks.
M is for Merkel, whose cell phone calls we surveil.
N is for NSA, who reads all your email!
O is for Obamacare, for which Sebelius took doctors remunerations.
P is for Pigford, otherwise known as Black Reparations.
Q is for Qadafi, whacked by US drones.
R is for Rosengate, attacked by sticks and stones.
S is for Solyndra, an energy company paid to go dark.
T is for Theater, like kicking veterans out of their park.
U is for Undermining the Hatch Act, which OSC says Sebelius did.
V is for Van Jones, a communist thug who openly hid.
W is for Walpin, an IG who put Obamas friend through an ordeal.
X is for X-Rep Joe Sestak, who was illegally given a deal.
Y is for YouTube videos, which put an innocent man in a jail.
Z is for Zigzagging around laws, which Obama does without fail.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.