Even Monocle Guy gets into the act!

Given the amount of misunderestimated inflation going on in our economy with increasing energy costs and the devaluation of the dollar through quantitative easing, the COINS act has been proposed as a way for the government to reduced costs. What the bill proposes is to replace the $1 bill with a $1 coin. The idea is that a buck doesn’t go as far as it used to, so it might as well be relegated to coin status, saving about $50M a year, if only because coins have a circulation period of about 30 years while bills last in circulation for a shorter period of time on average. While the most recent proposal has been around since 2011, the COINS act is back in the news. The bill was reintroduced in June by Senators McCain, Coburn, Enzi, Udall and Harkin. Indeed the New Haven Register even recommended abandoning the penny in a recent editorial.

In hopes of taking an opportunity to embarrass Senator McCain, one of the Republican sponsors of this bipartisan cost cutting bill, brought up concerns raised by a ‘Gentleman’s Club’ owner back in 2011 when he mused:

Daniel Harris, owner of Archibald’s Gentleman’s Club in downtown D.C. told us back then, “I think it would be very awkward for everyone involved. How much more would a coin weigh than a dollar bill? It would be very hard.” 

The manager also astutely pointed out, “You can’t put a coin in a garter belt.”

Without losing a step during the hallway Q&A with the reporter, Senator McCain retorted:

“Then I hope that they could obtain larger denominations…Fives, tens, one hundreds!”

While some of Dr. J.’s lefty friends chuckled at the CNN headline which misrepresents a humorous response to journalist trolling as doddering-old-manness, the impact will be felt. The Disrobing Industry will be dramatically affected by the sticker shock with the work-flow model being altered by the 100-400% increase in unit tip value. This will have a seismic effect on the current producer/consumer paradigm. With the resultant increase in per tip cost to the consumer, the producers will have to alter their current service line to bring value in line the new tip price point.

Dr. J. knew the $2’d find its niche.

Dr. J. offers a modest proposal to ease the pain of the transition as the new service line adjusts to the higher value bills being more stingily handed over should COINS come to pass. Dr. J. has a friend who eschews credit cards and pays cash for things. He also has a quirky habit of using $2 bills whenever possible in transactions. Indeed he paid Dr. J. $38 in $2’s when he owed Dr. J. some cash. Many banks carry $2 bills in decent quantities, as Dr. J.’s current banker didn’t even flinch when Dr. J. asked if it were possible to make a withdrawal of $200 in $2’s. So Dr. J. suggests that the lower tier Gentleman’s clubs stock up on these bills as the new business model re-equilibrates to accommodate the absence of the $1.

Dr. J. is so glad Washington and its journalists priorities are in order.

Dr. J.