Earlier this morning in his post on Fisher v. University of Texas, ‘Puter closed by stating “Justice Ginsburg is a laughingstock and no longer should be permitted to take part in Court decisions.” ‘Puter promised to provide an explanation for his statement later today, and now is later today.
Dana Milbank, a Washington Post opinionator, climbed atop his soapbox this morning to take Justice Samuel Alito to task for the Justice’s alleged “middle-school antics.” Mr. Milbank has his panties in a wad because Justice Alito dares show his exasperation with Justice Ginsburg’s utter disregard for both precedent and the Constitution itself. Mr. Milbank is also piqued because Justice Alito reacted to President Obama’s outright lies leveled at a captive Supreme Court during the 2010 State of the Union address regarding the then-new Citizens Uniteddecision, a decision liberals blame for all manner of pestilence and plague, regardless of actual causality. But ‘Puter’s only concerned here with Mr. Milbank’s certitude that what he refers to as Justice Alito’s “mocke[ry]” of Justice Ginsburg is unwarranted.
Before we tear Mr. Milbank’s thesis concerning Justice Ginsburg’s totally unassailable awesomeosity apart, ‘Puter would like to address Mr. Milbank personally. Mr. Milbank, your column today removes any doubt that you are a vile human being. Your attack on a jurist not permitted to defend himself is cowardly, and your thinly veiled innuendo that Justice Alito hates women is borderline libelous, even given America’s generous protections of published statements regarding public figures. Your juvenile and partisan treatment of a sitting Supreme Court justice is beneath journalism generally and the Washington Post specifically. If you had any decency, you’d rewrite your column and apologize to Justice Alito. Asshat.
Now, on to Mr. Milbank’s sainted Justice Ginsburg. Justice Ginsburg’s own actions, more specifically her issued dissents this term, are worthy of the mocking treatment of which Mr. Milbank complains.
Here is Justice Ginsburg in her own words, first in footnote 2:
Justice Ginsburg finds as a matter of fact that the University of Texas is using race to exclude individuals from admission to a course of study. A smart liberal would leave her conclusion unspoken. Justice Ginsburg is not that hypothetical smart liberal.
Moving on to apply her finding that the University of Texas’ affirmative action admission policy is facially race conscious, Justice Ginsburg states apropos of nothing (and certainly not in reliance on any version of applicable law or the Constitution of which ‘Puter’s aware) to state as follows:
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.