Your Mandarin is pleased to report that Mitt Romney has won the Presidential election. You may be asking, “Inscrutable Mandarin, how were you able to make this proclamation? Did you travel in time to see the outcome? Did you consult with some mystical oracle? How do you know?”
Well loyal and obedient minions, your Mandarin knows because his son told him the results of his mock election at school. You see, when he and his classmates voted four years ago the overwhelming majority of the children voted for President Obama, having been inundated with the message of hope and change. This time around, these same students – with 64% of the vote – have selected Mitt Romney. Funny what a little maturity will do to the electorate.
Your Mandarin is encouraged by these results. Most children – although we swear they don’t listen to a thing we tell them – are influenced by what they hear at home. It seems that what they are hearing is that we don’t need any more hope and change, but rather ideas and positive results.
The Mandarin, whose real name is 吏恆, joined the order in 1309, and introduced the Gormogons into England during the 18th Century.
The Mandarin enjoys spending time with his pet manticore, Βάρἰκος, or Barry (who can be found in the Bestiary). When not in the Castle…well, frankly, nobody is quite sure where he goes.
The Mandarin popularized the fine art of “gut booting,” by which he delivers a powerful kick to the stomach of anyone that annoys him. Although nearly universal today, the act of gut booting or threatening someone or something with a gut boot is solely due to him.