Who disturbs the Czar’s presence amidst Plants vs. Zombies? Why, two quick emails on Hexagon.

The first is actually an interoffice from GorT, which when compiled says that he had a family member work on that very project, and said family members was excited that he could finally talk about it.

And the other is from Operative AH, whose knowledge of all things aerospace makes the Czar think he must be one of Mandarin’s operatives:

Dread Czar,

The guy may or may not be telling the truth, but you can’t judge him harshly for using “light years” in the colloquial sense. Like it says in the article, his company built the optics package. Lockheed built the satellite. On programs like this there isn’t a lot of contact between groups; he’s probably an optics or electrical engineer who’s hardly ever even met an aerospace engineer.

Your friend in the defense business,
AH

Hmm. Well, maybe.

But there is a problem with not knowing one’s units of measure in aerospace. Anyway, we are happy to have AH write in, and we hope that more people of this caliber read us and write to us.

And indeed, Operative #462.5 has:

Oh most dread Lord and Czar of all of Muscovy (may thine enemies be afflicted after death by vengeful shades of colo-rectal surgeons)

I submit that it will be difficult to ascertain if your operatives are, in fact and in deed, of the same caliber as operative AH, unless we are given his/her/its length and diameter.

I hope that Christmas was enjoyable at the Castle.

—
Respectfully,
Gormogon Operative #462.5

See what one has to deal with?

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.