The always impressive Professor Mondo (whom the Czar reads every day) points us to this absolutely brillian juxtaposition by Sonic Charmer.

Holy crap, is there a single thing there you can disagree with? Brilliant.

Excerpt:

This small, Oil-rich nation, which we have tangled with and harassed before (does our President have psychological reasons for pursuing this?), has announced a ceasefire and stated its intention to comply with all relevant UN resolutions. The opposition is fragmented and tribal loyalties dominate, meaning that even if we succeed in ousting the current leader, all that may accomplish would be to take the country to the Brink ™ of a Civil War, requiring an occupation in a murky society where we are not wanted. This will, if anything, Create Terrorists ™ and not Make Us Safer ™ at all.

The rest is quite brief and to the point. Please read the entire piece and savor every word.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.