Worthless Endeavor
Dealing another blow to the Big Environment crowd, the Chicago Climate Exchange will shutdown next month. Citing issues with this administration being able to put any regulation requiring carbon trading. “The bulk of the users have said to us that they really don’t want to continue to trade voluntarily in the absence of any credit for their work by the current administration,” Sprecher said in an earnings call last week. “Cap and Trade” is a losing effort and the awkward attempts at providing a capitalistic spin on it isn’t going to improve it. Sadly, Dat Ho has scampered back to his corner after hearing the news – he was so excited for the Phosphorous International Exchange (PIE) market.
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.